Advice for Separation
- Thread starter kkott
- Start date
Good woman. I was once with one of those fudging c**ts. Was dumb enough to actually get engaged to her....but smart enough to call off the wedding and run for the hills. They literally suck your will to live right out of your body, if you let them.
According to study out this week, drinking together may well be the key to long term happy marriages.
http://mashable.com/2016/07/19/couples-who-drink-together-are-happier/#Xz73fAovWSqB
My wife and I still get sloshed together at least once a week. So we're in good shape, too.
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Why don't you guys just become swingers? You get to hit a bunch of strange and not have to worry about a division of assets or any of the other messy things that can come out of a divorce. No legal fees, no nothing. Anytime a lawyer doesn't get paid, it's a good thing.
So...your wife is Fred Glass and you're Tom Crean...?
Sounds like a match made in Heaven...
I hate you.
But that was a great analogy.
Hay @TheOriginalHappyGoat , could you take a break from not working to drop the bannhammer on this hate speech? TIA.
Have another kid...heard that always helps marriages.
Does anyone enjoy spending time with you?
It's tough when that is the case in any long term relationship. I assume you've tried, but have you tried anything spontaneous recently? I was in a six year, LTR, and as it was fading down the stretch, I tried to do spontaneous things. The long distance part made it rough. That in itself was the big message. It got to the point where if we were to see each other, we had to wrap it around her schedule.
Low expectations is the key to success in EVERY human endeavor.
Does anyone enjoy spending time with you?
It's tough when that is the case in any long term relationship. I assume you've tried, but have you tried anything spontaneous recently? I was in a six year, LTR, and as it was fading down the stretch, I tried to do spontaneous things. The long distance part made it rough. That in itself was the big message. It got to the point where if we were to see each other, we had to wrap it around her schedule.
Yes, my dog.
Being selfish is why I am a happier man today and why my next wife, whomever she may be, will be getting a better man. It's okay to sacrifice for your kids, but if your misery in being in a dead end relationship doesn't end because you need to "man up" and "suck it up", your kids suffer.
Sometimes staying together when both parties are miserable is just as bad if not worse than spitting up.
My ex refused to go to counseling, said there was nothing wrong and was oblivious to what our misery was doing to our children. Staying married just to stay married is a horrible option, and if you want your kids to get the real you, the real person behind their miserable dad, you need to be selfish and be happy.
Depends on what your pain threshold is. If you've been in a dead relationship for 3 months you need to sack up and wait for another season. If it's going on 5 years, then yeah, maybe its time for change.
Try Jesus.
Some people believe that parents living in misery is good for children to witness.
Did you just tell him to screw your savior?
So did you do anything special for your 25th anniversary? Did everyone tell you how your marriage stood the test of time? The two of you 'made it'.
When I first read this I assumed crossfire was blowing shit and it wasn't serious. I take it I was wrong? (Still the new guy and have a long way to go before I get a handle on all the characters...)
Agreed. That would be the other thing I'd highly recommend, try to bone every day, just like you did when you first met.
VanPastorMan
Hall of Famer
Friend, I am the lone person to say what I am going to say. Do you still love her? Does she still love you? If not then what exactly happened so that you stopped loving each other? You say you have grown apart. What do you mean exactly by this? Also, is it fixable? Could you change course and grow back together again? The reason I am asking these questions is because you guys want to split up because you think it will make you happy. The truth is it won't. You will probably find someone else who is the same as her or worse. The same goes for her. Leaving doesn't guarantee happiness,but it is possible to work on the marriage and find each other again. You've got good reasons to do so. You say the kids won't be ok,but do you you just want ok? The truth is this will affect them and their decision to marry someday. I've seen it a hundred times. If you guys are not in danger of physically hurting one another and there has been no adultery, you actually have a good chance to make it. My advice to you is that you love her. Read the book, The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. The info in that book has saved a lot of marriages that have grown apart. You will need to learn how to love your wife in the right way. All of this depends on whether you think that there is any reason to even try.
He thinks he's actually qualified to give advice. That's not hilarious, it's actually scary.
Friend, I'm probably not the only one who wants to say this: I'm in a much better place to make these decisions than you are. MYOFB... I think that's plenty for you.
PS. read that book years ago when there was still hope.
No one GAFF what you think.....and to think you're qualified to give advice on ANYTHING is laughable.
BTW.....your savior loved to hang out with the whores.....they all called him "The Doorknob".....everyone got a turn.....and because he was also a carpenter.
VanPastorMan
Hall of Famer
I wish you nothing but the best. It's hard right now. Consider Christ,who He is and what He has done for you during this time. He will be there for you if you give Him a chance. I do appreciate that you want to stay close to your kids. Love on them the best way you can.
This is sage got damn advice.
@kkott this is super important. Even if you think she'll be fine and cool. She can still royally fk you.
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