Welcome to the 2016 Andy Awards!

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

It's finally that time of year, where we recognize the best, brightest, and just all-around most awesome of the AOTF. Only the greatest posters are honored with the Andy statuette:

It's not quite time for the ceremony yet, but some stars are already coming up the red carpet. Here's Coach Pete Bell during his annual one-day vacation:

Even Peegs showed up!

And, of course, here is El Presidente For Life of the AOTF Hall of Fame, Goat:

This year's host, the lovely Ava Addams, is out in the lobby, meeting and greeting posters and other fans:

The AOTF HOF Executive Committee would like to thank @trover for his tremendous induction speech earlier for Kref, which is currently pinned to the top of this board, and will undoubtedly be archived into the LTF at some point in the near future. Well done, trover! Kref is the fifth member to be inducted into the AOTF HOF, following Aruss, BCC, Basil and etec. Next year, Hoosier Grandaddy, DJ, Cap and CJ will be on the ballot, plus whomever else the Veterans Committee decides to add. CJ was supposed to be on the ballot this year, but the guy who handles the ballots is horribly incompetent.

Not sure when we're actually going to get started, but you might want to sit back and grab a beer and a doobie.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

More stars are showing up on the red carpet! Here are C-$ and his totally legal date:

Here's McNutt, who is actually up for several awards tonight:

And here comes HoosierPeach:

What a star-studded affair this is turning out to be!

Our old pal MTIOTF even showed up!

Can't wait to get started!

"See you soon, guys!"

 

[C-$]

I'd just like to get my acceptance speech out of the way so I can go get wildly hammered and see how many pieces of barely legal trim I can bang before the night's over.

So you can use this for each of my awards henceforth:

"I humbly accept this award. As much as you all think I give you, it pales in comparison to what you all give me. Godspeed."

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Whew! Sorry for the delay, folks. Lots of wardrobe changes required for this show! So we're going to go ahead and get started with the first award for tonight: Biggest Pervert. Here to present the award is an AOTF favorite, Kate Upton, inexplicably carrying a popsicle!

Thanks, Ava! When this is over, let's me and you hang out for a while in your dressing room!

Anyway, up for Biggest Pervert of 2015 are: C-$, for his, ahem, "love" life, toastedbread, for his loose understanding of gender, McNutt, because he's the only poster to verifiably have a MMF threesome in college, VanPastorMan, just because, and Coach Pete Bell, because, well, you know.



And the Andy goes to...

... @VanPastorMan !!!! I can't believe it! What an upset! I guess the voters saw right through his apparently Godly life, or perhaps that stuff he let slip about sometimes looking at other women on television stuck in their memories, but, either way, congratulations VPM on your first Andy!

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Alright! Next up is Biggest Whiner! Here to present the award is someone named Berenice Marlohe, who is apparently a Bond girl. I dunno. Whatever.

Thanks, Ava, I guess. Anyway, Biggest Whiner is presented to the poster who did the most to annoy his or her fellow posters with endless stories about shit they just didn't care about. The nominees are: Outside Shooter, for everything football or Boston related, C-$, for his endless hatred of Tom Crean, Zeke, because of penis envy, Goat, because he's a dirty liberal, and McNutt, because they let black people on his golf course now, and they don't know how to rake properly.


And the Andy goes to...

... @McNutt76 !!!!! Congratulations, McNutt on what I THINK is your first Andy (but probably not your last - spoiler alert!)...Well done!

 

[McNutt76]

Alright! Next up is Biggest Whiner! Here to present the award is someone named Berenice Marlohe, who is apparently a Bond girl. I dunno. Whatever.

Thanks, Ava, I guess. Anyway, Biggest Whiner is presented to the poster who did the most to annoy his or her fellow posters with endless stories about shit they just didn't care about. The nominees are: Outside Shooter, for everything football or Boston related, C-$, for his endless hatred of Tom Crean, Zeke, because of penis envy, Goat, because he's a dirty liberal, and McNutt, because they let black people on his golf course now, and they don't know how to rake properly.


And the Andy goes to...

... @McNutt76 !!!!! Congratulations, McNutt on what I THINK is your first Andy (but probably not your last - spoiler alert!)...Well done!

My wife would agree with me receiving this award. Thank you very much! vbg

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Yeah, guys, it's starting to get hot in here, so you'll forgive me if I don't wear as much clothing from here on out. Anyway, it's time for the first MAJOR award of the night: Biggest Troll! And, of course, who better to award Biggest Troll than our own Tom Crean?

Thanks, Ava! I am so excited to be here to hand out this award! Like really excited! Like I think I'm having an aneurysm! Jesus!

Anyway, this is our first Big Award of the night, one that's highly coveted by everyone. Biggest Troll. And the nominees for Biggest Troll are: Outside Shooter, mostly for his ungodly obsession with the laws of physics and the word "quim," C-$, because of...wait...me? What do I have to do with this? WTF, money? Anyway, also, McNutt, because a lot of posters don't think he's real, TMP, because, c'mon, you know why, and Mystery Donor, because of...wait...me again? WTF people? Why am I such a big topic of conversation? This isn't even a basketball board! I'm so confused!

Oh well, anyway. The Andy goes to...

... @outside shooter !!!! Congratulations OS on your first Andy! And it's a big one! Well done!

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

My wife would agree with me receiving this award. Thank you very much! vbg

F***ING AWESOME.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

And now we're going to take a short break while Ava takes the trash out to the street. Because real life.

 

[MyTeamIsOnTheFloor]

Everything about this sux so far

Except some of the pictures

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Alright, we're going to leave the individual awards aside for a moment, and give out our first group award. Best Thread. Here to present the award for Best Thread is Bo Koehler, who is a person.

Thanks, Ava! It's amazing how many people don't know I'm a thing. Especially Goat. You'd almost think he was getting so old, he didn't bother looking at hot chicks, anymore. What a dumbass. Anyway, I'm here to give out the Andy for "Best Thread," and the nominees are: "It's gameday, butt...," The Beer Thread, McNutt's College Threesome, and Asian Thursday.

And the Andy goes to...

... McNutt's College Threesome! Congratulations, McNutt, you are having a great night, just like that one time back in college!

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

And now, it's time to award the board's biggest Know-It-All. And there are a lot of them. You people, Jesus Christ. Think you know everything. Basketball, football, music, women, religion, get off it already. Anyway, to award the biggest know-it-all award, because, why the f*** not? is...Max Bielfeldt!

Awesome, dude! Let me just drag my giant calves up on stage, and we'll get started. Alright, then. The nominees for Biggest Know-It-All are: TMP, because music is meant to be FELT, not listened to, man, Jesus, Goat, because he's a liberal douche, MTIOTF, because he's the redneck equivalent of Goat, and Outside Shooter, because of physics, man. Physics.

And the Andy goes to...

... @outside shooter !!!! Congratulations, OS, on your SECOND Andy of the night! Well done!

 

[PhishPhan682]

And now, it's time to award the board's biggest Know-It-All. And there are a lot of them. You people, Jesus Christ. Think you know everything. Basketball, football, music, women, religion, get off it already. Anyway, to award the biggest know-it-all award, because, why the f*** not? is...Max Bielfeldt!

Awesome, dude! Let me just drag my giant calves up on stage, and we'll get started. Alright, then. The nominees for Biggest Know-It-All are: TMP, because music is meant to be FELT, not listened to, man, Jesus, Goat, because he's a liberal douche, MTIOTF, because he's the redneck equivalent of Goat, and Outside Shooter, because of physics, man. Physics.

And the Andy goes to...

... @outside shooter !!!! Congratulations, OS, on your SECOND Andy of the night! Well done!

she has a nice eyebrown ring.

you are the biggest know it all.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

she has a nice eyebrown ring.

you are the biggest know it all.

Voters said no, bitch.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Alright, one more minor award, and then we're down to the Big Three. This is the award for Worst Thread. To present this award, my good friend, Sophie Dee! For those dumbasses on this forum who don't like Sophie, let me just say, I have personally ****ed her ****, and that ***** is hot as ****. So, you better recognize.

Thanks for sticking up for me, Ava! Luv ya! Anyway, the nominees for worst thread are: TMP's Atheism is Awesome, Zizkov's Anti-American Propaganda, Deflategate, The Beer Thread and Joe Hoopsier's Boss Has the Hots For Him.

And the Andy goes to...

.... Of course! This one was about as difficult to predict as trying to guess where I'm eventually going to stick that giant black dildo! Obviously, the winner is Deflategate! Congratulations, to everyone who took part in turning this forum into a football orgy, from the biggest Tom Brady Ball-lickers, to the dumbest...ahem..."Coltish Quim," or whatever the **** the phrase is. Way to go, everyone! Good job ruining the forum!

 

[MyTeamIsOnTheFloor]

Voters said no, bitch.

Voters like Donald Trump and Hillary.
Screw them.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Alright, folks, it's time for the Big Three. That includes Post and Poster of the year, but first, it's the Andy Awards' most unique honor, the poster "Most Trusted To Fix This Dump in 2016." To present this award, a redhead, Holland Roden.

Thanks, Ava. This award is given to the poster who fellow posters most trust to get this dumpster fire of a forum back on track. Last year, it was awarded to UTFO. Obviously, that was an EPIC F***ING FAIL, because that lazy bitch didn't do shit to get this place fixed. So maybe this year, we can do a better job picking someone. The nominees are: burnthemallralphie, stunnedmonkey, Warison, Hoosier Grandaddy, and kkott.

And the Andy goes to...

... For the first time in the HISTORY of the Andy Awards, it's a tie! A tie! @burnthemallralphie and @Warison share the award! Congratulations to both of you! Amazing!

 

[MyTeamIsOnTheFloor]

Alright, folks, it's time for the Big Three. That includes Post and Poster of the year, but first, it's the Andy Awards' most unique honor, the poster "Most Trusted To Fix This Dump in 2016." To present this award, a redhead, Holland Roden.

Thanks, Ava. This award is given to the poster who fellow posters most trust to get this dumpster fire of a forum back on track. Last year, it was awarded to UTFO. Obviously, that was an EPIC F***ING FAIL, because that lazy bitch didn't do shit to get this place fixed. So maybe this year, we can do a better job picking someone. The nominees are: burnthemallralphie, stunnedmonkey, Warison, Hoosier Grandaddy, and kkott.

And the Andy goes to...

... For the first time in the HISTORY of the Andy Awards, it's a tie! A tie! @burnthemallralphie and @Warison share the award! Congratulations to both of you! Amazing!

Nothing can fix this joint.
This award is like a Trump conmercial.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Sorry, guys, I just had to take a break and do some quick Yoga. Anyway, only two awards left. Let's start with Best Post. Here to present it is...well, I'll be damned, another redhead, Isla Fisher.

Thanks, Ava. I don't know what it is about these people and redheads. Well, yes, actually, I do know what it is. We all know what it is. Let me pause for a few minutes while everyone finishes wanking it, then we'll continue.

Done? Good. The nominees for Post of the Year, which celebrates a single, epic effort in posting, as opposed to a whole thread, are: McNutt's College Threesome, Colt's Cheerleader of the Week, and LeConte's "IU Used to be Good."

And the Andy goes to...

...McNutt's College Threesome! Congratulations, again, McNutt! This is your, what, third Andy of the night? Damn!

 

[C-$]

Sorry, guys, I just had to take a break and do some quick Yoga. Anyway, only two awards left. Let's start with Best Post. Here to present it is...well, I'll be damned, another redhead, Isla Fisher.

Thanks, Ava. I don't know what it is about these people and redheads. Well, yes, actually, I do know what it is. We all know what it is. Let me pause for a few minutes while everyone finishes wanking it, then we'll continue.

Done? Good. The nominees for Post of the Year, which celebrates a single, epic effort in posting, as opposed to a whole thread, are: McNutt's College Threesome, Colt's Cheerleader of the Week, and LeConte's "IU Used to be Good."

And the Andy goes to...

...McNutt's College Threesome! Congratulations, again, McNutt! This is your, what, third Andy of the night? Damn!

McNutt owns this place... The rest of us are just renting space at his discretion.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

AND FINALLY....

I hope you guys don't mind. Since this was the last award of the night, I thought I'd go ahead and just bend the rules for proper attire a little bit. Anyway, to announce the final award, for Best Poster, is yet another redhead, Jamie Edmonson! I'm not sure if I'm spelling her name right, because even she seems unclear on that detail, but here she is!

Thanks, Ava! It's time for tonight's last and biggest award, Poster Of The Year! And the nominees are: Hoosier Grandaddy, HA2740, Cap, kkott, Zizkov, RangelineFan, C-$, Goat, Ralphie, McNutt, and TMP. And every nominated poster can be proud, as this was a very close race, and everyone got multiple votes. Even Goat got votes from IP addresses that didn't belong to his own laptop! Might have been errors, but still, awesome! Anyway, let's not drag this on any longer...

The Andy for Poster of the Year goes to...

... @McNutt76 !!!! Congratulations, McNutt, the Poster of the Year for the AOTF in 2015! What a dominating performance for McNutt in the awards this year, capped off with the biggest one of them all!

Now, if you've been paying attention to this thread, you may have missed the fact that McNutt has already started on his 2016 campaign by starting yet ANOTHER thread about the dentist that sticks his finger up his butt during threesomes, or whatever. So go post there.

Good night, everyone!

 

[kkott]

Well done!

 

[Rangeline Fan]

How the hell did Dakich not present the "Know It All" winner?

 

[Hoops Cat]

How the hell did Dakich not present the "Know It All" winner?

You want to see him in a 2 piece?

 

[Rangeline Fan]

It was an honor to be nominated.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

How the hell did Dakich not present the "Know It All" winner?

I invited him, but he didn't show up.

 

[Rangeline Fan]

You want to see him in a 2 piece?

No...but what the hell does Max have to do with being a know it all?

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Well done!

It would be nice if the rest of you step up and improve this thread now that I'm done with it.

 

[burnthemallralphie]

Nice job, Goat.

Here's some good Jamie:

(Ed.: You ass, you know I can't let that slide.)

 

[C-$]

Well, shit.

I actually thought I was gonna win something this year.

Guess I need to be an even bigger prick this year.

I think I can do it!

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Well, shit.

I actually thought I was gonna win something this year.

Guess I need to be an even bigger prick this year.

I think I can do it!

I have faith in you.

Inside dirt: you were tied with McNutt for poster of the year until I told the IC folks to stuff the ballot for you. Then McNutt blew you away. Take that for what it's worth.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Also, who is that dickhead on here who likes predicting things? Because I think I can predict who will do well next year:

1 C-$, because he should have won something this year.
2. Phish, because he wasn't even on the ballot this year, and people will overcompensate next year.
3. Ralphie, because he's probably going to do something to get banned in the most awesome way possible.
4. kkott, because if he doesn't disappear, he is going to make CPB look like a rank amateur before it's all over.

 

[C-$]

I have faith in you.

Inside dirt: you were tied with McNutt for poster of the year until I told the IC folks to stuff the ballot for you. Then McNutt blew you away. Take that for what it's worth.

That doesn't surprise me.

 

[Hoops Cat]

I have faith in you.

Inside dirt: you were tied with McNutt for poster of the year until I told the IC folks to stuff the ballot for you. Then McNutt blew you. Take that for what it's worth.

Fixed it for you.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

That doesn't surprise me.

I imagine not, but it's still pretty f***ing funny.

 

[PhishPhan682]

IM finna step my game up

Money we should just start dominating this bitch again like we used to

 

[C-$]

IM finna step my game up

Money we should just start dominating this bitch again like we used to

WE ON.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

IM finna step my game up

Money we should just start dominating this bitch again like we used to

Gauntlet = thrown.

Rock it like a hurricane, boys.

 

[zeke4ahs]

I didn't even know I was nominated. Great honor...and it's a good thing or Peach and I might have to boycott #aotfsomale

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

I didn't even know I was nominated. Great honor...and it's a good thing or Peach and I might have to boycott #aotfsomale

I'm going to invent a new Andy for "Most Topical Joke" just to award you. Well done.