My oldest son has IBS and we didn’t realize it for years, being bad parents and all.Funny poop story.
At IU freshman year. You know, good diet, clean living. The usual. Lived in Wilkie South (before the mixing of the genders, literally) and they were still building the Ed building. Cafeteria and dorm library were/are between the two towers.
Had a later archaeology or whatever class in Jordan Hall on the west side of campus. Walking back across the campus I feel the urge and then, horribly, the DROP. I'm approcahing the unfinished Ed building. Check doors. Locked. Shit (figuratively at this point). Now I gotta make a decision.
Can I make it to my room? No. Ruled out.
Can I make it to the tower lobby? Possibly.
What is the closest structure? The dorm caFeteria and library!!!!
But, a concern, it's like 8:30p. Are the doors locked? I've only got one shot at this b/c if those doors are locked I'm shitting in the bushes. So, I risk it. I'm full clench, waddling, strange gurgles from my abdomen, moistness between the cheeks. Pain.
Fellas, one of the best moments of my life was when that door to the dorm cafeteria/library opened but then.....FEAR. What if the bathrooms are locked. I might not even make it back outside and I might shit here in the atrium.
Run waddling to the bathroom and THANK JESUS the door open. I barely get my ass over the toilet before I release a torrent of foulness unmatched in my previous 19 years. I was drained and exhausted.
Threw my underwear away in the trashcan in the bathroom and hightailed it.
He would always have to go right after we got in the car and it drove me NUTS.
One day I refused to stop and the poor kid literally shit his pants. Looking back, that’s probably the low point of my life in terms of the things I feel bad about. I feel AWFUL about it now.
He’s always said it’s no big deal but I’m sure that episode will come up when he’s discussing how nice of a home to put me in.