The 2016 Republican Field

[Rockfish1]

Before I start ridiculing the clown car that is the early Republican race, let me say that (in no particular order) Scott Walker, Jeb Bush, and Marco Rubio are all perfectly plausible presidential candidates. (I'm including Jeb Bush here despite his astounding inability to answer obvious questions about his brother's -- and father's -- Iraq policies.) I wouldn't vote for any of these guys, but they're all what we'd expect legitimate Presidential candidates to be. And probably that's all anyone needs to know -- one of these guys will almost certainly be the Republican nominee.

That said there absolutely is a Republican clown car, and it's even bigger this year than it was last year, when it included everyone but Mitt Romney. (Jon Huntsman obviously isn't a clown, but he so obviously isn't a clown that he had no conceivable chance to win the nomination, which makes him a sad clown.) Even in comparison to last year's field, this year's clowns are setting a new track record. In no particular order:

1. Rick Perry. Texas Governor. Humiliated presidential candidate. Moron. "Wearing glasses doesn't make you look smarter, but standing next to Rick Perry does." Will never win an election outside of Texas.

2. Rick Santorum. Former Senator. Former icky Google reference. Former failed presidential candidate. Now eats lunch alone at published campaign events. Will never win another election. Eats paste.

3. Ben Carson. Former surgeon. Current Herman Cain. Lunatic. Future Fox contributor.

4. Ted Cruz. Flaming asshole. Will never be elected to anything outside of Texas, where he can probably stay in office forever.

5. Carly Fiorina. Failed corporate executive and failed political candidate. Will never be employed again.

6. Mike Huckabee. Used silly name to become Governor of Arkansas. Former and future Fox contributor.

7. George Pataki. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

8. Rand Paul. Current Senator. Not as crazy as his father. Will never be elected to anything outside of Kentucky, where dimwitted and loony aren't regarded as flaws.

9. Lindsey Graham. John McCain claims he'll vote for him. Can probably also count on Joe Lieberman's vote. Will never be elected to anything outside of South Carolina and may have to enter a stage marriage.

10. Donald Trump. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

11. Chris Christie. Unpopular governor facing potential indictment who alienates everyone who doesn't think that fat New Jersey assholes are cool. Will never be elected gain.

12. Bobby Jindal. Extremely unpopular Governor of Louisiana. Constituents don't want him to be president, but would like him to leave the state. Future Heritage Foundation or American Enterprise Institute staffer.

13. John Kasich. Governor of Ohio. Not obviously objectionable. Future Fred Thompson.​

I'd be happy to be proven wrong, because as little as I fear Walker, Rubio, and (especially) Bush, I'd love to see the Democratic candidate (cough*Hillary*cough) face off against an entry from the clown car. Is there any chance that Republicans will lose their heads and select one of these obvious losers? My guess is no, and it's just a mater of time before the clown car leaves the stage. Still, I can hope, right?

 

[crazed_hoosier2]

So long as we're dreaming, there's still time for Mitch Daniels to give up the reins in West Lafayette and jump in....as I'm still of the mind that he's the most competent and substantive contemporary politician of either party in any place in the country.

Alas, I think he meant it when he said that Governor of Indiana would be the first and last elective office he'd ever seek.

 

[Rockfish1]

So long as we're dreaming, there's still time for Mitch Daniels to give up the reins in West Lafayette and jump in....as I'm still of the mind that he's the most competent and substantive contemporary politician of either party in any place in the country.

Alas, I think he meant it when he said that Governor of Indiana would be the first and last elective office he'd ever seek.

I hate to praise Republicans but:

Mitch Daniels: President of Purdue University

Evan Bayh: K Street Prostitute
​

I never liked Evan Bayh. Ever.

 

[Noodle]

13. John Kasich. Governor of Ohio. Not obviously objectionable. Future Fred Thompson.​

Ironically, I was talking about Kasich with a colleague yesterday and Fred's name immediately came up. I think the conversation morphed from Kasich recently hiring one of Huntsman's former advisors, to how Huntsman was a solid candidate who never seemed to have his heart in it, kind of like Fred Thompson (but with more substance than Thompson).

As for Kasich, he's rubbed too many Republicans the wrong way, particularly the Tea Party crowd, to get the nomination. However, I think he would be a solid choice.

 

[davegolf]

Great post and actually pretty much agree. I would only add to your comment "Kentucky, where dimwitted and loony aren't regarded as flaws" to include Arkansas having spent some time there.

 

[Noodle]

How about Kentucky and Arkansas, the inspirations for the movie Idiocracy

 

[DougS]

Ben Carson is very conservative and an evangelical, but a lunatic? Granted, I haven't seen him campaign, but I'm curious about that label.

 

[Ladoga]

Before I start ridiculing the clown car that is the early Republican race, let me say that (in no particular order) Scott Walker, Jeb Bush, and Marco Rubio are all perfectly plausible presidential candidates. (I'm including Jeb Bush here despite his astounding inability to answer obvious questions about his brother's -- and father's -- Iraq policies.) I wouldn't vote for any of these guys, but they're all what we'd expect legitimate Presidential candidates to be. And probably that's all anyone needs to know -- one of these guys will almost certainly be the Republican nominee.

That said there absolutely is a Republican clown car, and it's even bigger this year than it was last year, when it included everyone but Mitt Romney. (Jon Huntsman obviously isn't a clown, but he so obviously isn't a clown that he had no conceivable chance to win the nomination, which makes him a sad clown.) Even in comparison to last year's field, this year's clowns are setting a new track record. In no particular order:

1. Rick Perry. Texas Governor. Humiliated presidential candidate. Moron. "Wearing glasses doesn't make you look smarter, but standing next to Rick Perry does." Will never win an election outside of Texas.

2. Rick Santorum. Former Senator. Former icky Google reference. Former failed presidential candidate. Now eats lunch alone at published campaign events. Will never win another election. Eats paste.

3. Ben Carson. Former surgeon. Current Herman Cain. Lunatic. Future Fox contributor.

4. Ted Cruz. Flaming asshole. Will never be elected to anything outside of Texas, where he can probably stay in office forever.

5. Carly Fiorina. Failed corporate executive and failed political candidate. Will never be employed again.

6. Mike Huckabee. Used silly name to become Governor of Arkansas. Former and future Fox contributor.

7. George Pataki. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

8. Rand Paul. Current Senator. Not as crazy as his father. Will never be elected to anything outside of Kentucky, where dimwitted and loony aren't regarded as flaws.

9. Lindsey Graham. John McCain claims he'll vote for him. Can probably also count on Joe Lieberman's vote. Will never be elected to anything outside of South Carolina and may have to enter a stage marriage.

10. Donald Trump. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

11. Chris Christie. Unpopular governor facing potential indictment who alienates everyone who doesn't think that fat New Jersey assholes are cool. Will never be elected gain.

12. Bobby Jindal. Extremely unpopular Governor of Louisiana. Constituents don't want him to be president, but would like him to leave the state. Future Heritage Foundation or American Enterprise Institute staffer.

13. John Kasich. Governor of Ohio. Not obviously objectionable. Future Fred Thompson.​

I'd be happy to be proven wrong, because as little as I fear Walker, Rubio, and (especially) Bush, I'd love to see the Democratic candidate (cough*Hillary*cough) face off against an entry from the clown car. Is there any chance that Republicans will lose their heads and select one of these obvious losers? My guess is no, and it's just a mater of time before the clown car leaves the stage. Still, I can hope, right?

Call them any way you want. We expect it to be at least dishonest.

But YOU, SIR, are not fit to lick the sweat off of Ben Carson's >>>. Intellectually you wouldn't make a pimple on his arse. His contributions to science - neurosurgery in particular - dwarf the accomplishments of all the people who would share a beer with you combined.

 

[Fro]

From what I know of Kasich he's not a clown car guy either, but he seems to have 0 chance.

I would have liked to see Daniels run, but unfortunately he's got a skeleton in his closet related to his divorce (heard from a couple different plugged-in people) that would be a big deal in a Republican Presidential primary.

 

[NPT]

Before I start ridiculing the clown car that is the early Republican race, let me say that (in no particular order) Scott Walker, Jeb Bush, and Marco Rubio are all perfectly plausible presidential candidates. (I'm including Jeb Bush here despite his astounding inability to answer obvious questions about his brother's -- and father's -- Iraq policies.) I wouldn't vote for any of these guys, but they're all what we'd expect legitimate Presidential candidates to be. And probably that's all anyone needs to know -- one of these guys will almost certainly be the Republican nominee.

That said there absolutely is a Republican clown car, and it's even bigger this year than it was last year, when it included everyone but Mitt Romney. (Jon Huntsman obviously isn't a clown, but he so obviously isn't a clown that he had no conceivable chance to win the nomination, which makes him a sad clown.) Even in comparison to last year's field, this year's clowns are setting a new track record. In no particular order:

1. Rick Perry. Texas Governor. Humiliated presidential candidate. Moron. "Wearing glasses doesn't make you look smarter, but standing next to Rick Perry does." Will never win an election outside of Texas.

2. Rick Santorum. Former Senator. Former icky Google reference. Former failed presidential candidate. Now eats lunch alone at published campaign events. Will never win another election. Eats paste.

3. Ben Carson. Former surgeon. Current Herman Cain. Lunatic. Future Fox contributor.

4. Ted Cruz. Flaming asshole. Will never be elected to anything outside of Texas, where he can probably stay in office forever.

5. Carly Fiorina. Failed corporate executive and failed political candidate. Will never be employed again.

6. Mike Huckabee. Used silly name to become Governor of Arkansas. Former and future Fox contributor.

7. George Pataki. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

8. Rand Paul. Current Senator. Not as crazy as his father. Will never be elected to anything outside of Kentucky, where dimwitted and loony aren't regarded as flaws.

9. Lindsey Graham. John McCain claims he'll vote for him. Can probably also count on Joe Lieberman's vote. Will never be elected to anything outside of South Carolina and may have to enter a stage marriage.

10. Donald Trump. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

11. Chris Christie. Unpopular governor facing potential indictment who alienates everyone who doesn't think that fat New Jersey assholes are cool. Will never be elected gain.

12. Bobby Jindal. Extremely unpopular Governor of Louisiana. Constituents don't want him to be president, but would like him to leave the state. Future Heritage Foundation or American Enterprise Institute staffer.

13. John Kasich. Governor of Ohio. Not obviously objectionable. Future Fred Thompson.​

I'd be happy to be proven wrong, because as little as I fear Walker, Rubio, and (especially) Bush, I'd love to see the Democratic candidate (cough*Hillary*cough) face off against an entry from the clown car. Is there any chance that Republicans will lose their heads and select one of these obvious losers? My guess is no, and it's just a mater of time before the clown car leaves the stage. Still, I can hope, right?

I'm so glad they have another clown car on the Democratic side to compete against.

 

[zeke4ahs]

I'm so glad they have another clown car on the Democratic side to compete against.

Whom do you consider a clown on the Democratic side?

 

[Sope Creek]

Call them any way you want. We expect it to be at least dishonest.

But YOU, SIR, are not fit to lick the sweat off of Ben Carson's >>>. Intellectually you wouldn't make a pimple on his arse. His contributions to science - neurosurgery in particular - dwarf the accomplishments of all the people who would share a beer with you combined.

Ennhhh . . . his contributions to science or anything else doesn't insulate him from being part of the clown car in a political campaign, any more than any one else. Your insistence on pointing to those is merely an indication of where the dwarf sits . . . .

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

What contributions to science? Carson was a very talented surgeon. That doesn't mean he contributed anything to the field. Has he ever done any actual research?

 

[Rockfish1]

Ben Carson is very conservative and an evangelical, but a lunatic? Granted, I haven't seen him campaign, but I'm curious about that label.

Let me help you with that.

Anarchy may derail the 2016 elections:

WALLACE: You said recently that there might not even be elections in 2016 because of widespread anarchy. Do you really believe that?

CARSON: I hope that that’s not going to be the case. But certainly there’s the potential because you have to recognize that we have a rapidly increasing national debt, a very unstable financial foundation, and you have all these things going on like the ISIS crisis that could very rapidly change things that are going on in our nation. And unless we begin to deal with these things in a comprehensive way and in a logical way there is no telling what could happen in just a couple of years.
​

Barack Obama is a psychopath:

Carson had come to the Capitol Hill home of Armstrong Williams, a conservative media impresario who officially serves as Carson's business manager and who lately has functioned as Carson's unofficial image-maker and political adviser as well. As the two men turned to the TV, they began dissecting Obama's performance.

"He looks good," Williams said. "He looks clean. Shirt's white. The tie. He looks elegant."

"Like most psychopaths," Carson grumbled. "That's why they're successful. That's the way they look. They all look great."
​

People choose to be gay:

Ben Carson, the retired neurosurgeon and potential Republican presidential candidate, said Wednesday that “a lot of people who go into prison straight, and when they come out they’re gay.”

The remarks were made on CNN’s “New Day” in response to a question from host Chris Cuomo, who asked if Carson thought being gay was a “choice.”

“Absolutely,” Carson replied.

Asked why, he went on to explain his prison theory. “So did something happen while they were in there?” he said. “Ask yourself that question.”
​

"America is like Nazi Germany":

“I mean, [America is] very much like Nazi Germany. And I know you’re not supposed to say ‘Nazi Germany,’ but I don’t care about political correctness. You know, you had a government using its tools to intimidate the population. We now live in a society where people are afraid to say what they actually believe.”
​

AP classes will make kids join ISIS:

I am a little shocked quite frankly looking at the AP course in American history that's being taught in high schools across out country right now...There's only two paragraphs in there about George Washington. George Washington! Little or nothing about Dr. Martin Luther King...I think most people when they finish that course, they'd be ready to go sign up for ISIS. I mean, this is what we're doing to the young people in our nation.
​

Obamacare is the worst thing since slavery:

Dr. Ben Carson, an African-American neurosurgeon and Fox News contributor, literally called Obamacare ‘the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery.’ Recognizing how odd these words must have sounded coming from a person of color, he doubled down: And it is slavery, it is, in a way, slavery, because it is making all of us subservient.'
​

If I wanted someone to separate conjoined twins, he'd be on the short list. But he's an absurd Presidential candidate. He has deep knowledge of a very narrow subject and not the first clue about anything else, while being utterly oblivious that neurosurgery expertise doesn't make you a philosopher king. If Donald Trump weren't the perfect candidate of the Republican Id, Ben Carson would be, and not in a good way.

 

[cosmickid]

Call them any way you want. We expect it to be at least dishonest.

But YOU, SIR, are not fit to lick the sweat off of Ben Carson's >>>. Intellectually you wouldn't make a pimple on his arse. His contributions to science - neurosurgery in particular - dwarf the accomplishments of all the people who would share a beer with you combined.

Do you actually read/hear the things he says? He may not be driving the clown car,but he's definitely firmly wedged in between Ricky Boy and Little Teddy in the front seat...

Edit-I believe Rockfish nails this perfectly in his above post.And that's just a sample of what I (and MANY folks) would say constitutes LUNACY from Carson...

 

[Rockfish1]

I'm so glad they have another clown car on the Democratic side to compete against.

If you knew what a "clown car" is, you'd understand why the relative dearth of Democratic Presidential contenders eliminates the possibility of a Democratic clown car.

 

[CO. Hoosier]

What contributions to science? Carson was a very talented surgeon. That doesn't mean he contributed anything to the field. Has he ever done any actual research?

Hemispherectomy

Advanced the science for seizure disorders

 

[Rockfish1]

From what I know of Kasich he's not a clown car guy either, but he seems to have 0 chance.

Agreeance. He's in the clown car because that's his only ride, and not because he's clownish.

 

[Rockfish1]

Call them any way you want. We expect it to be at least dishonest.

But YOU, SIR, are not fit to lick the sweat off of Ben Carson's >>>. Intellectually you wouldn't make a pimple on his arse. His contributions to science - neurosurgery in particular - dwarf the accomplishments of all the people who would share a beer with you combined.

You are a pluperfectly silly person, and the angrier and more stentorian your posts become, the sillier you are. The only thing more amusing than that is your utter lack of awareness, even though I keep pointing it out to you.

 

[Rockfish1]

As for Kasich, he's rubbed too many Republicans the wrong way, particularly the Tea Party crowd, to get the nomination. However, I think he would be a solid choice.

I don't mean to diss Kasich on his own merits -- or at least I don't mean to do so in this thread. He'd be a perfectly plausible candidate if he were a plausible nominee. But he isn't, so there's only room for him in the clown car.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Hemispherectomy

Advanced the science for seizure disorders

Yeah, but he didn't really advance anything. He just used his prodigious surgery skills to prove it was still a viable procedure.

And good for him. It's nothing to scoff at, successfully cutting out half a brain in order to give a child a chance at a reasonable quality of life. I have nothing but respect for his skills as a surgeon.

But Ladoga's phrasing suggested something more, like that he wasn't just a cutting edge neurosurgeon, but also a cutting edge scientist, which is just baloney. By all accounts, he's a terrible scientist.

I'm probably reading too much into his wording, but there's been a lot of that going around, and I guess I got the bug.

 

[IUJay1]

Whom do you consider a clown on the Democratic side?

Sanders, O'Malley,Chafee, not to mention Clinton, even if she is the best option for the Dems at this point.

 

[zeke4ahs]

Sanders, O'Malley,Chafee, not to mention Clinton, even if she is the best option for the Dems at this point.

So , in other words, anyone that's a Democrat. Got it.

 

[IUJay1]

So , in other words, anyone that's a Democrat. Got it.

At this point, the other three have no chance to beat Clinton. As for Clinton, like I said, she is the best the Dems have to offer and in my opinion she isn't much of an option either
If I was to vote for a Dem, it would be Warren, so no, not anyone who is a Democrat, just the four in the race at this point.

 

[Noodle]

Call them any way you want. We expect it to be at least dishonest.

But YOU, SIR, are not fit to lick the sweat off of Ben Carson's >>>. Intellectually you wouldn't make a pimple on his arse. His contributions to science - neurosurgery in particular - dwarf the accomplishments of all the people who would share a beer with you combined.

Oh give me a break. Carson may be a great surgeon, but he's still a buffoon who has no business running for President. He's an intellectual lightweight.

 

[CO. Hoosier]

Yeah, but he didn't really advance anything. He just used his prodigious surgery skills to prove it was still a viable procedure.

And good for him. It's nothing to scoff at, successfully cutting out half a brain in order to give a child a chance at a reasonable quality of life. I have nothing but respect for his skills as a surgeon.

But Ladoga's phrasing suggested something more, like that he wasn't just a cutting edge neurosurgeon, but also a cutting edge scientist, which is just baloney. By all accounts, he's a terrible scientist.

I'm probably reading too much into his wording, but there's been a lot of that going around, and I guess I got the bug.

Eeehhhh

Didn't advance anything?! Are people who then write the peer reviewed articles about what surgeons do and why the scientists? I think you are using his politics to affect your thinking. There was considerable research and science behind resurrecting the procedure to control the seizures that were so frequent to be almost constant.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

I think you are using his politics to affect your thinking.

Nope, my respect for science far outweighs my political views.

There was considerable research and science behind resurrecting the procedure to control the seizures that were so frequent to be almost constant.

Was he the one who did that research?

Seems to me he was an exceptionally skilled surgeon. Full stop.

 

[CO. Hoosier]

Nope, my respect for science far outweighs my political views.



Was he the one who did that research?

Seems to me he was an exceptionally skilled surgeon. Full stop.

As I recall the story, yes. Also his research on the conjoined separation was significant and recognized as such. Did you see the docudrama about that? Done way before his political activities so was pretty straight forward.

I think applying the science in new ways is definitely a scientific endeavor.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

As I recall the story, yes. Also his research on the conjoined separation was significant and recognized as such. Did you see the docudrama about that? Done way before his political activities so was pretty straight forward.

I think applying the science in new ways is definitely a scientific endeavor.

The hemispherectomy wasn't new, though. He was just proving that an old procedure could still be useful if done correctly. Being one of the top neurosurgeons around, he was able to do it correctly.

Again, I respect that. You may not remember this, but I suffer from a (very mild) seizure disorder. Thank God, mine's treatable with drugs. But for many, drugs don't work. Some people take the most powerful anticonvulsants available just to keep their seizures down to one or two per day. That he was able to make the procedure work is amazing, and I'm sure he made lives better.

The conjoined twin thing is also interesting to me, but I don't know much about it. Still, it's an example of how he is a brilliant surgeon, not an example of how he is a brilliant scientist. I was only nitpicking this singular point, as Ladoga's fawning was sloppy and inaccurate.

 

[tigerchump]

Before I start ridiculing the clown car that is the early Republican race, let me say that (in no particular order) Scott Walker, Jeb Bush, and Marco Rubio are all perfectly plausible presidential candidates. (I'm including Jeb Bush here despite his astounding inability to answer obvious questions about his brother's -- and father's -- Iraq policies.) I wouldn't vote for any of these guys, but they're all what we'd expect legitimate Presidential candidates to be. And probably that's all anyone needs to know -- one of these guys will almost certainly be the Republican nominee.

That said there absolutely is a Republican clown car, and it's even bigger this year than it was last year, when it included everyone but Mitt Romney. (Jon Huntsman obviously isn't a clown, but he so obviously isn't a clown that he had no conceivable chance to win the nomination, which makes him a sad clown.) Even in comparison to last year's field, this year's clowns are setting a new track record. In no particular order:

1. Rick Perry. Texas Governor. Humiliated presidential candidate. Moron. "Wearing glasses doesn't make you look smarter, but standing next to Rick Perry does." Will never win an election outside of Texas.

2. Rick Santorum. Former Senator. Former icky Google reference. Former failed presidential candidate. Now eats lunch alone at published campaign events. Will never win another election. Eats paste.

3. Ben Carson. Former surgeon. Current Herman Cain. Lunatic. Future Fox contributor.

4. Ted Cruz. Flaming asshole. Will never be elected to anything outside of Texas, where he can probably stay in office forever.

5. Carly Fiorina. Failed corporate executive and failed political candidate. Will never be employed again.

6. Mike Huckabee. Used silly name to become Governor of Arkansas. Former and future Fox contributor.

7. George Pataki. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

8. Rand Paul. Current Senator. Not as crazy as his father. Will never be elected to anything outside of Kentucky, where dimwitted and loony aren't regarded as flaws.

9. Lindsey Graham. John McCain claims he'll vote for him. Can probably also count on Joe Lieberman's vote. Will never be elected to anything outside of South Carolina and may have to enter a stage marriage.

10. Donald Trump. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

11. Chris Christie. Unpopular governor facing potential indictment who alienates everyone who doesn't think that fat New Jersey assholes are cool. Will never be elected gain.

12. Bobby Jindal. Extremely unpopular Governor of Louisiana. Constituents don't want him to be president, but would like him to leave the state. Future Heritage Foundation or American Enterprise Institute staffer.

13. John Kasich. Governor of Ohio. Not obviously objectionable. Future Fred Thompson.​

I'd be happy to be proven wrong, because as little as I fear Walker, Rubio, and (especially) Bush, I'd love to see the Democratic candidate (cough*Hillary*cough) face off against an entry from the clown car. Is there any chance that Republicans will lose their heads and select one of these obvious losers? My guess is no, and it's just a mater of time before the clown car leaves the stage. Still, I can hope, right?

I think J

 

[tigerchump]

Kasich seems to me as the best of the bunch.For some reason I cant fully explain,he reminds me of Howard Baker,the long ago senator from Tennessee who always took a common sense approach to problems.If Kasich would become the GOP nominee,I would vote for him.I don't want Hilary or Jeb.We have had enough of the Busheas and Clintons,I think.