Fathers

[TMFT]

You should visit the My Pillow store. You will sleep better and not be so woke.

As a guy raised by a single mother with significant help from my grandparents, to say nothing of having had the experience of a physically abusive stepfather, if understanding that a stable environment is more important than having a dad around makes me woke, then I'm never sleeping again.

Along the same lines, I remember a day when being asleep to what's going on in the world was considered a negative trait. But so it goes.

 

[Spartans9312]

As a guy raised by a single mother with significant help from my grandparents, to say nothing of having had the experience of a physically abusive stepfather, if understanding that a stable environment is more important than having a dad around makes me woke, then I'm never sleeping again.

Along the same lines, I remember a day when being asleep to what's going on in the world was considered a negative trait. But so it goes.

Have you considered that your personal experience is the exception as opposed to the rule?

 

[anon_6hv78pr714xta]

Well it's the first thing approaching evidence in this thread.

His whole thesis is dumb because he's conflating a stable home life with having a father around.

While fathers can certainly fill that role, so can single fathers, or single mothers, or blended families, or grandparents, or two moms, or two dads.

Among the dumbest human qualities is when people think that complex social problems have exceedingly simple solutions. "Have more dads around" as the solution to what's wrong in America is just such a thing.

I would actually propose that a great number of dads (and moms) have terrible effects on their children. Alcoholism. Drug abuse. Crime. Physical & emotional abuse. These things set kids up to not be fully functioning adults with a father around or a two parent household. What those situations have in common is that they are not stable loving homes. Kids grow when they feel safe. Having "dad" isn't what makes you feel safe. Actually being safe is what makes you feel safe.

So until you or anyone else can point out something that shows that dads are magical in this regard and that doesn't conflate having dad around with stability, you can, respectfully, blow me.

Lot of truth to your post.

So we can amend the thesis: on average, or over a significantly large number of families, having a dad around tends to lead to a more stable home life (for a few reasons).

Would you agree with that weaker proposition?

 

[TMFT]

Lot of truth to your post.

So we can amend the thesis: on average, or over a significantly large number of families, having a dad around tends to lead to a more stable home life (for a few reasons).

Would you agree with that weaker proposition?

Very much depends on the people involved. Generically, yes, I think a two parent household should provide more resources for kids. But that's all dependent on the people involved. If your parents are mopes, it doesn't matter if you've got one or two in the house.

Have you considered that your personal experience is the exception as opposed to the rule?

I don't. Because the rule as I see it is that a stable loving home is always better than one that's not, regardless of whether there's a dad in the picture or not.


Generally speaking, I just have an aversion to the concept that just having a second parent in the home will cure what ails us. Having two good parents? Sure. But that's what I've been saying all along. Having a dad in the house is only important if he's a good dad.

 

[IUCrazy2]

Sure. Proud frown face here.

1) at least part of his thesis is that trans kids are effed up in the head. I fundamentally disagree.
2) I think there is a conflating of “fathers” and “stable two parent households.” Or really, just stable households for that matter. Speaking as a father, I don’t think we have any magic skills. I think, should I die, my wife could teach my kids all of the important skills I could, except for changing the furnace filter.
3) His post is very much a victim cry out for how aggrieved he feels as a man just weeping for society’s destruction because of all the evil women out there. I think it’s lame.

1)They are.
2)Shoukd you die, your children already had their foundation set with you present and statistics don't agree with you anyway. Children of single mother's perform poorly across a host of different factors. That is undeniable, a simple internet search will provide you with ample support.
3)Noted, I will keep this in mind the next time any of you drop any type of "well this happened and it was bad for said aggrieved group". They should buck the **** up and deal with it. What will you leftists have to talk about then though?

 

[IUCrazy2]

Liberals for the most part don't believe that society is a hierarchy.

This is laughable. All leftist thought is based on the idea of a hierarchy.

Liberals may not believe that but most of you guys that get called "liberals" aren't liberals.

 

[TMFT]

1)They are.
2)Shoukd you die, your children already had their foundation set with you present and statistics don't agree with you anyway. Children of single mother's perform poorly across a host of different factors. That is undeniable, a simple internet search will provide you with ample support.
3)Noted, I will keep this in mind the next time any of you drop any type of "well this happened and it was bad for said aggrieved group". They should buck the **** up and deal with it. What will you leftists have to talk about then though?

Post one of those simple to find studies that show there is a statistically significant difference between the performance of the kids of single mothers vs single fathers when controlled for age, income, and education level of the custodial parent then we can talk.

In fact, I’d be willing to wager that the kid of the median single mother with a masters degree who earns $175,000/yr and had her first kid at 35 will have better achievement outcomes than the kid of the median two-parent household with a combined income of $35,000/yr and no education beyond HS.

 

[JamieDimonsBalls]

View embedded media

We are not very good at maintaining a proper peacetime military.

drones and robots are the future for a reason

 

[CO. Hoosier]

Very much depends on the people involved. Generically, yes, I think a two parent household should provide more resources for kids. But that's all dependent on the people involved. If your parents are mopes, it doesn't matter if you've got one or two in the house.


I don't. Because the rule as I see it is that a stable loving home is always better than one that's not, regardless of whether there's a dad in the picture or not.


Generally speaking, I just have an aversion to the concept that just having a second parent in the home will cure what ails us. Having two good parents? Sure. But that's what I've been saying all along. Having a dad in the house is only important if he's a good dad.

That’s the “no shit” post of this thread.

 

[IUINSB]

That’s the “no shit” post of this thread.

As opposed to all the bullshit posts in this thread?

 

[TMFT]

That’s the “no shit” post of this thread.

So at least you’ve conceded that it’s about the quality of parent & circumstances and not just having a man in the house. Congratulations on your growth!

 

[CO. Hoosier]

Another take on fatherhood. The link is pretty good. I don’t buy all the Marxist stuff, but I do agree that our public policy, social policy, and educational system produces far too many undisciplined and violent young males. Are we really like elephants?

A Father Makes all the Difference

The rise in school shootings correlates with the destruction of the family and the declining number of fathers in the home, with the consequent decline in the moral values of young people. The idea that fathers are essential to the proper moral...

www.americanthinker.com

 

[iuwclurker]

Happy Father’s Day to all who are Fathers, grandfathers, uncles, teachers, youth leaders, or in other ways provide a strong male influence in the lives of kids.

In a world where males and fathers are diminished in new ways every day, our presence is more needed than ever. Statistics show that lack of father-figures is the common denominator in every social pathology from poor education, to drugs, to crime, and to killers, including mass shooters.

Our public response is doing more harm than good. Masculinity is seen as toxic. Gender confusion is reinforced and the gender confused now have official protection from the Oval Office down to pre- school. I think gender confusion is the result of lack of male influence. It’s almost exclusively a female effort. This dysfunction will be passed down from generation to generation.

I don’t know how we can fix this. We need to have a national government and social initiative to promote fatherhood instead of diminishing it. It’s no secret how I feel about pride month and all the rainbow paraphernalia that dominates government and the private sector. Imagine if you will if we had a similar month extolling fatherhood. Flags, parades, tee shirts, and other events celebrating fatherhood would be hugely more beneficial to kids than pride week and drag queen shows aimed at kids.

Mostly personal. Yesterday my daughter asked if I would pick up my grandson when he got off work from his first job. He is 16. He found the job on his own without prompting. As he walked to the vehicle my mind flashed to the time he came to tears on his first time down the kiddie slide at the playground. He is a young man and may own that store some day. The joys of father/grandfatherhood.

https://135704.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/135704/2022%20Strengths%20Based%20Infographics/NFIFatherAbsenceInfoGraphic.pdf

https://135704.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/135704/2022%20Strengths%20Based%20Infographics/strengths-of-father-presence.pdf

https://135704.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/135704/2022%20Strengths%20Based%20Infographics/involved-dads-good-for-moms.pdf

Happy Father’s Day mofos!

 

[Victorbmyboy]

Perhaps you should articulate why you disagree? Regardless if the disorder is genetic or environmental, it seems like its universally considered a behavioral health disorder (i.e. gender dysphoria).



I disagree with this part a bit. There are emotional and social elements that fathers provide that mothers do not and vice versa. My kids walk all over my wife. I keep their little butts in line. I am definitely harder on them (hopefully not too hard) because that's how I grew up. And I turned out alright.

Yep. Same. The school my son goes to was having problems with a kid(s) flushing random things down toilets. My son and a friend was in one of the bathrooms in question(one stall was locked out). They got caught in there by a janitor and got blamed. When I got home my wife was furious about him getting in trouble. She was ready to March down to the school and take casualties.(she was being cheered on by my mother in law) I quickly stepped in and told them this is a teaching moment. Be where you are supposed to be!!! None of this would’ve happened if he would’ve been in the correct place. So I got my way. I explained to my son why he was being punished, why he was getting the full deal. Of course my man hating mother in law had plenty to say. I told her we are raising men not boys. (She raised her son and he’s only had one job at 33 still living with her in a one bedroom apartment). I can tell you from experience how different my wife and I see things. I was raised in a large family with hardly any divorces or blended families. She was raised in a man hating environment. Those issues do pop up but she also recognizes how manipulative her mom can be.

 

[Bulk VanderHuge]

 

[Victorbmyboy]

I might as well just make the first sandwich with butts. Just get it over with.

 

[outside shooter]

Have you considered that your personal experience is the exception as opposed to the rule?

He experienced a physically abusive stepfather. That isn't the norm, but do you think that physically abusive stepfathers are more common than physically abusive stepmothers? My expectation is, yes, overwhelmingly.

Do you think physically abusive men, in general, are more common than physically abusive women? My expectation is, yes, overwhelmingly.

Do you think that violent criminals are more often men than women? My expectation is, yes, overwhelmingly.

There is a streak of added physical violence/ assertiveness that somehow seems to associate with maleness.

Not recognizing this reality is pretty stupid. I am not wise enough to suggest how to minimize its negative impacts, but I can be honest about the facts.

 

[Spartans9312]

He experienced a physically abusive stepfather. That isn't the norm, but do you think that physically abusive stepfathers are more common than physically abusive stepmothers? My expectation is, yes, overwhelmingly.

Do you think physically abusive men, in general, are more common than physically abusive women? My expectation is, yes, overwhelmingly.

Do you think that violent criminals are more often men than women? My expectation is, yes, overwhelmingly.

There is a streak of added physical violence/ assertiveness that somehow seems to associate with maleness.

Not recognizing this reality is pretty stupid. I am not wise enough to suggest how to minimize its negative impacts, but I can be honest about the facts.

His father was non-existent.
That is an exception…except for those instances where the state has become the “father”

 

[CO. Hoosier]

More about this from a liberal writer:

What has happened to American men?Leonard Pitts Jr. is a columnist for the Miami Herald. Readers may contact him via email at lpitts@miamiherald.com.

The Denver Gazette
Jul 09, 2022

He couldn’t get a date.

Or he hated Black people.

Or he was bullied in school.

If any of that sounds familiar, it should. Every time there’s a mass shooting in this country — which, as a functional matter, pretty much means every day — those are the kinds of explanations routinely offered in the aftermath. A simple trip to the store, seeing a movie, going to school — or, as was the case last week in Highland Park, north of Chicago, going to a parade — ends up in carnage and reporters dutifully waylay the shooter’s parents, teachers and friends to ask how this could have happened. And the portrait emerges.

He hated Jews.

Or he was depressed.

Or he was a loner.

But curiously enough, no one ever seems to consider, much less interrogate, the neon thread woven through it all. Meaning that pronoun, “he.” Always, “he.” We take it for granted. It hardly even registers. But maybe it should. In a government-funded study of 172 mass shootings since 1966 — defined as a shooting in a public place where four or more people were killed — The Violence Project, a nonpartisan and nonprofit anti-violence think tank, found that just four of the shooters were female. That’s a little more than 2%.

So, while we debate mass shootings as a bigotry problem, a mental health problem, an access to guns problem — and make no mistake, we should — it seems past time we also began debating it as a men problem. Especially since the numbers suggest it is more a men problem than any other kind. That we seldom broach it as such speaks to the fish-don’t-know-they’re-wet myopia of most of those framing the discussion. Meaning, of course: men themselves. When you are considered the implicit norm, self-reflection doesn’t come naturally. But self-reflection is long overdue. And here, a riposte from the old sitcom “Living Single” suggests itself.

Synclaire asks, “Did you ever stop to think about what the world would be like without men?”

Khadijah replies: “A bunch of fat, happy women and no crime!”

It is, as they say, funny because it’s true. And painful for the same reason.

That said, it is insufficient merely to indict men. Other countries have men — and private gun ownership. Yet they don’t have the random gun violence this country does.

Which suggests the question is not “What’s wrong with men?” but “What’s wrong with American men?” What is it in our culture, in the things we teach them, in the way we socialize them, that so often leaves boys and men with this grotesque sense of entitlement, this ability to decide that because they are having a bad day, because they got their feelings hurt, because life hasn’t gone as they wished, they have a right to whip out a gun and make innocent strangers pay?

Everyone has bad days. Everyone gets their feelings hurt. Everyone grapples with life not going according to plan. Only American men seem to routinely take this as an excuse to shoot up churches and schools.

After which, we get thoughts and prayers, candlelight vigils and signs proclaiming “_________ Strong” while media probe for why this terrible thing happened — and keeps happening. Yet, time and again, we run right past the most promising line of inquiry there is. Yes, it’s important to know that he hated Asians. Or he wanted revenge. Or he got fired.

But it’s also important to take into account that “he” is always “he.”

It’s time we asked ourselves why.

losely connected to this is this story of the ultra-dangerous peanut vendor at Dodger Stadium. Who would think throwing a bag peanuts at a baseball game Iis dangerous? I think a woman would think that, not a man.

Worst Sports Story of the Year

Sensible nominations for the worst recent developments/scandals in sports would surely include the universal designated hitter in MLB, or the runner-on-second-base-in-extra-innings innovation, the continued employment of Angel Hernandez anywhere near a baseball field, or the defenestration of...

www.powerlineblog.com

 

[VanPastorMan]

As a guy raised by a single mother with significant help from my grandparents, to say nothing of having had the experience of a physically abusive stepfather, if understanding that a stable environment is more important than having a dad around makes me woke, then I'm never sleeping again.

Along the same lines, I remember a day when being asleep to what's going on in the world was considered a negative trait. But so it goes.

Would you consider your Grandpa to be your father? I am glad you had him because young men if they don't have a Dad in the home need to have positive male influences. My oldest grandson is 6. He doesn't have a Dad in his life because his Dad is in prison. He doesn't know he is there because we are not sure how he would handle it. My youngest grandson has health issues and it seems like his Dad who lives 3 blocks away has rejected him. So your story hits home with me because we are living it right now. Thanks.

 

[TMFT]

Would you consider your Grandpa to be your father? I am glad you had him because young men if they don't have a Dad in the home need to have positive male influences. My oldest grandson is 6. He doesn't have a Dad in his life because his Dad is in prison. He doesn't know he is there because we are not sure how he would handle it. My youngest grandson has health issues and it seems like his Dad who lives 3 blocks away has rejected him. So your story hits home with me because we are living it right now. Thanks.

Definitely not. He was just an outstanding dad to my mom and grandpa to me.

With that said, he was certainly part of the stable and loving family environment that raised me, which sounds like what you’re doing with yours, and what’s been my whole thesis with this thing all along.

Im a firm believer that kids thrive when they feel safe. Food, shelter, being cared about, listened to, etc. As long as they get that, I couldn’t care less about the arrangement that gets them there.