The Douchebag fantasy golf thread.

Timmy!

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Trying to decide if I’m gonna play this week. I’m not a huge fan of tournaments with multiple courses. I think this is one of them but I have to check. Also the pro-am makes it a little difficult to predict how the PTO’s will play. What do you guys think?
It’s $5 bucks and it only takes a minute or two, five tops, if you want to put more thought into it, to formulate and submit a lineup...ya’know, enter the contest. And did I mention it’s only a$5 dollar commitment? Thus, multiple course tournament or not, whatever concerns you may have there as to how that potentially might effect your ability to put together a viably contending lineup this week, it would be a decent presumption for me to make that, even in the the event of a finish outside the top 3, you’ll be able to afford the financial ramifications of the prospects of being out $5 bucks.

Or, another way to say it would be....

Yes, you should play; don’t be a pussy
 
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Eppy99

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It’s $5 bucks and it only takes a minute or two, five tops, if you want to put more thought into it, to formulate and submit a lineup...ya’know, enter the contest. And did I mention it’s only a$5 dollar commitment? Thus, multiple course tournament or not, whatever concerns you may have there as to how that potentially might effect your ability to put together a viably contending lineup this week, it would be a decent presumption for me to make that, even in the the event of a finish outside the top 3, you’ll be able to afford the financial ramifications of the prospects of being out $5 bucks.

Or, another way to say it would be....

Yes, you should play; don’t be a pussy
Yes, I can afford the $5...it’s the other contest that I will now feel compelled to enter. You know the ones that cost $44 or $444 that I enter multiple times. I’m trying to save face and save up for better weeks.
 
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Timmy!

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Yes, I can afford the $5...it’s the other contest that I will now feel compelled to enter. You know the ones that cost $44 or $444 that I enter multiple times. I’m trying to save face and save up for better weeks.
Can't you fight the power that would compel you to enter the $44 to $444 contests if you were to enter the $5 D-Bag contest?

I mean, I understand that - like me - you’re a member of the tribe; and as such, you can’t go the Linda Blair/Exorcist route towards achieving this, in having the power of Christ at your disposal as an option to compel you....but surely you must have another source for general compulsion, no? Perhaps some good old fashioned personal will power you can tap into, right?

And if you’re the type of fella who needs to have a tangible incentive in order for you to draw from your compulsion sources (a bucket which I personally typically tend to fall into), perhaps you tell the wifey to acknowledge and agree to cutting off all sexual activity with you for the remaining balance of the month of February IF - and only if - you wind up entering any additional DK PGA contests this week outside the $5 Douchebag contest.

If you’re lacking in the personal, tangibly unincentivized will power department, that latter suggestion oughta compel you to refrain from entering any of those other higher priced contents this week real quick and real easy.
 

IU40IU

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Oct 31, 2007
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Trying to decide if I’m gonna play this week. I’m not a huge fan of tournaments with multiple courses. I think this is one of them but I have to check. Also the pro-am makes it a little difficult to predict how the PTO’s will play. What do you guys think?
It’s Pebble Beach. Play.
 

Hoops Cat

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I'll expand to 20 next week since it automatically resizes if it doesn't fill.
Yes. My buddy got the invite but didn't reserve early enough. I think you can fill 20 spots.

Who the hell was recommending telling your wife that withholding sex was an option in order to curtail your impulses to DK? That was some nonsensical bullshit - tell your wife you're entering the contest, and oh, to make you a sammich.
 
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Timmy!

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Yes. My buddy got the invite but didn't reserve early enough. I think you can fill 20 spots.

Who the hell was recommending telling your wife that withholding sex was an option in order to curtail your impulses to DK? That was some nonsensical bullshit - tell your wife you're entering the contest, and oh, to make you a sammich.
That was me who recommended it, but I did so in jest. In reality though, I couldn't care less if Eppy or anyone else has sex or not with their respective wives. Ain't my dick.
 

bshields

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Yes. My buddy got the invite but didn't reserve early enough. I think you can fill 20 spots.

Who the hell was recommending telling your wife that withholding sex was an option in order to curtail your impulses to DK? That was some nonsensical bullshit - tell your wife you're entering the contest, and oh, to make you a sammich.
I was too late to in too
 

Timmy!

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@Eppy99 , I went ahead and took care of the creating this week's contest (the Honda Classic @ PGA National), so all you have to do this week is submit a lineup, kick back, and inevitably finish in the middle of the pack with a lineup surely to be headlined by a disappointing Tommy Fleetwood at the top of the ticket. (Hey, I f**king dominated last week's WGC Mexico contest. And with that in conjunction with having just completed 4 rounds in 4 days down in in Jupiter, FL last week at Admiral's Cove, I have golf on the brain, so I took the initiative and shot out the invite this week)

@C-$ and @twenty02 , how's about the two of you's take a minute off from crushing puss -- some hot and I assume some, well, something a whole heckuva lot less than hot (that'd be C$) -- and thinking/dissecting politics (that being twenty02), and toss a lineup into the d-bag contest this time around, eh?
 

Eppy99

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@Eppy99 , I went ahead and took care of the creating this week's contest (the Honda Classic @ PGA National), so all you have to do this week is submit a lineup, kick back, and inevitably finish in the middle of the pack with a lineup surely to be headlined by a disappointing Tommy Fleetwood at the top of the ticket. (Hey, I f**king dominated last week's WGC Mexico contest. And with that in conjunction with having just completed 4 rounds in 4 days down in in Jupiter, FL last week at Admiral's Cove, I have golf on the brain, so I took the initiative and shot out the invite this week)

@C-$ and @twenty02 , how's about the two of you's take a minute off from crushing puss -- some hot and I assume some, well, something a whole heckuva lot less than hot (that'd be C$) -- and thinking/dissecting politics (that being twenty02), and toss a lineup into the d-bag contest this time around, eh?
Thank you my friend. Got kinda busy today.
 
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Eppy99

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Who’s planning to play the Players next week? Trying to gauge how large of a tournament to set up. Still planning on $10 entry as it’s the 5th major.
 
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Eppy99

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Yo, we’re only at 14/30. Get in or I’ll have to create a smaller tourney.
 

bshields

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I just got in. For some reason DraftKings will no longer verify my location unless my phone is connected to WiFi. Anyone else have that problem? Really annoying.
 

hookyIU1990

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I just got in. For some reason DraftKings will no longer verify my location unless my phone is connected to WiFi. Anyone else have that problem? Really annoying.
Intermittently. The last update appears to have fixed it for me though.
 

Timmy!

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Just posted a new contest for all us bitching about nothing to do and nothing to watch. Golf is coming back. Went kinda big with 25 spots thinking there would be some interest. So get in now!

GOLF Thu 6/11, 6:00 AM EDT - $5 entry - 2 spots filled *** https://www.draftkings.com/contest/draftteam/87548187
In it to win it.

My God have I missed sports. I'm more excited about this than the first 7 or 8 times I thought I was gonna lose my virginity (Starting around the 8th or 9th time I thought the possibility of that occurrence may go down, that excitement began to lose its luster considering I had gone 0 for my first 7 or 8 times in this anticipation. Eventually it did happen btw, but by the time it finally did, it didn't elicit much more than a golf clap from me, no pun intended; more of a "Christ, about damn time" reaction. Nonetheless, I've banged plenty of times since the floodgates opened some 22 odd years ago. Still going strong on that front in fact)

But yeah, aaanyhow, happy to have sports back; in particular golf; in particular, particular, the AOTF D-Bag DK golf contest.
 
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Eppy99

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Getting kinda desperate for some people to fill these spots. Time to knock on neighbors doors and ask your friends if they wanna play or we’re in trouble here.
 

Eppy99

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We filled! Don’t know a third of the strangers I just invited, but we’ve got a contest.