Mississippi bill would criminalize masturbation (unless you wear a condom)

[Noodle]

AN ACT TO ENACT THE CONTRACEPTION BEGINS AT ERECTION ACT; TO DEFINE TERMS; TO PROVIDE THAT IT SHALL BE UNLAWFUL FOR A PERSON TO DISCHARGE GENETIC MATERIAL WITHOUT THE INTENT TO FERTILIZE AN EMBRYO; TO PROVIDE FOR CRIMINAL PENALTIES; TO PROVIDE CERTAIN EXCEPTIONS; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI:

SECTION 1. (1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."

(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:

(a) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;

(b) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and

(c) Ten Thousand Dollars (10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:

(a) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and

(b) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

SECTION 2. This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025.

SB2319 (As Introduced) - 2025 Regular Session

 

[mcmurtry66]

AN ACT TO ENACT THE CONTRACEPTION BEGINS AT ERECTION ACT; TO DEFINE TERMS; TO PROVIDE THAT IT SHALL BE UNLAWFUL FOR A PERSON TO DISCHARGE GENETIC MATERIAL WITHOUT THE INTENT TO FERTILIZE AN EMBRYO; TO PROVIDE FOR CRIMINAL PENALTIES; TO PROVIDE CERTAIN EXCEPTIONS; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI:

SECTION 1. (1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."

(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:

(a) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;

(b) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and

(c) Ten Thousand Dollars (10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:

(a) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and

(b) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

SECTION 2. This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025.

SB2319 (As Introduced) - 2025 Regular Session

@Joe_Hoopsier isn’t MS where you have your getaway house? You better watch those exes. Snitchin

 

[GeorgeStrait IU]

AN ACT TO ENACT THE CONTRACEPTION BEGINS AT ERECTION ACT; TO DEFINE TERMS; TO PROVIDE THAT IT SHALL BE UNLAWFUL FOR A PERSON TO DISCHARGE GENETIC MATERIAL WITHOUT THE INTENT TO FERTILIZE AN EMBRYO; TO PROVIDE FOR CRIMINAL PENALTIES; TO PROVIDE CERTAIN EXCEPTIONS; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI:

SECTION 1. (1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."

(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:

(a) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;

(b) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and

(c) Ten Thousand Dollars (10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:

(a) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and

(b) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

SECTION 2. This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025.

SB2319 (As Introduced) - 2025 Regular Session

I cant afford $10,000 a week.

 

[Noodle]

AN ACT TO ENACT THE CONTRACEPTION BEGINS AT ERECTION ACT; TO DEFINE TERMS; TO PROVIDE THAT IT SHALL BE UNLAWFUL FOR A PERSON TO DISCHARGE GENETIC MATERIAL WITHOUT THE INTENT TO FERTILIZE AN EMBRYO; TO PROVIDE FOR CRIMINAL PENALTIES; TO PROVIDE CERTAIN EXCEPTIONS; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI:

SECTION 1. (1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."

(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:

(a) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;

(b) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and

(c) Ten Thousand Dollars (10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:

(a) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and

(b) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

SECTION 2. This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025.

SB2319 (As Introduced) - 2025 Regular Session

Oh, it also appears that you would be OK to spank your monkey in Mississippi if you have had a vasectomy.

Queery: does a pull-out count as a "contraceptive method"? It doesn't say the method has to have a certain level of efficacy.

 

[mcmurtry66]

Oh, it also appears that you would be OK to spank your monkey in Mississippi if you have had a vasectomy.

Queery: does a pull-out count as a "contraceptive method"? It doesn't say the method has to have a certain level of efficacy.

From experience it’s a shitty method

 

[Noodle]

What about a wet dream? Are you safe if, in your dream, you are trying to procreate?

And menopausal women will march on the capital if this goes anywhere. They're screwed...er, no, they can't be screwed - unless by a man who (a) does not know they're menopausal and (b) is attempting to procreate.

 

[mattndallas]

I think this was all covered in the original Legally Blonde.

 

[BradStevens]

I think this was all covered in the original Legally Blonde.

View embedded media

God I hate that movie.

 

[Lucy01]

I bet Kamala‘s husband Jack is upset with this bill.

 

[Joe_Hoopsier]

@Joe_Hoopsier isn’t MS where you have your getaway house? You better watch those exes. Snitchin

Hell no, Mobile, Bama !
Those cajun's over there in MS won't deal with this very well!

 

[The Original Happy Goat]

Who doesn't wear a condom when they rub one out? C'mon, people! Are you still using gym socks?

 

[mcmurtry66]

Who doesn't wear a condom when they rub one out? C'mon, people! Are you still using gym socks?

Bosnians wear rubbers to the east side under their pants. Strippers sit on those laps and whisper “we can go to the vip room”

NOPE!!!! ALREADY DONE!!!


only people on earth who beat the house

 

[The Original Happy Goat]

Bosnians wear rubbers to the east side under their pants. Strippers sit on those laps and whisper “we can go to the vip room”

NOPE!!!! ALREADY DONE!!!


only people on earth who beat the house

Five bucks says you've previously introduced at least one of these Bosnians as "my business associate."

 

[mcmurtry66]

Five bucks says you've previously introduced at least one of these Bosnians as "my business associate."

Many years ago I was at the titty bar after golf with a big group and we went into the vip room and there was this very well known judge, really intimidating guy, at the end of the room with a stripper sitting on each leg tugging on his nipples. Was awful. I immediately turned around only to hear COUNSELOR. COUNSELOR. you see me I see you

Was payback. Years before my friends and I were at this place called blue martini in west palm and mark McGwire was in the back with two chicks on his knees and they were tugging on his nips. I told my friends watch how bad I piss him off. I went over there shouting BIG MAC OH MY GOD IM FROM SAINT LOUIS IM A HUGE FAN super loud 🤣

 

[The Original Happy Goat]

tugging on his nipples

tugging on his nips

I don't go to a lot of strip clubs. Is this a thing?

 

[Joe_Hoopsier]

This thread reminds me that I need to go trim my nails.

 

[mcmurtry66]

I don't go to a lot of strip clubs. Is this a thing?

I guess 15-20 years ago. I don’t either. Doesn’t seem like a thing anymore. But I could be out of it

 

[BradStevens]

I don't go to a lot of strip clubs. Is this a thing?

Book club field trip?

 

[Noodle]

Someone just pointed out to me another oddity in this bill:
“without the intent to fertilize an embryo”

Hmmmm.

 

[jet812]

I guess 15-20 years ago. I don’t either. Doesn’t seem like a thing anymore. But I could be out of it

Been to quite a few, spent a lot of time in VIP rooms, never seen a dude getting his nipples tugged on. St Louis thing?

 

[mcmurtry66]

Been to quite a few, spent a lot of time in VIP rooms, never seen a dude getting his nipples tugged on. St Louis thing?

I have a feeling they’re all pretty rough these days

 

[ulrey]

 

[jet812]

I have a feeling they’re all pretty rough these days

I haven’t been in 15 years or so, but this nipple tugging you speak of witnessing is disturbing to say the least & has convinced me not to go back.

 

[mcmurtry66]

I haven’t been in 15 years or so, but this nipple tugging you speak of witnessing is disturbing to say the least & has convinced me not to go back.

To me as well!

 

[Baller23Boogie]

Many years ago I was at the titty bar after golf with a big group and we went into the vip room and there was this very well known judge, really intimidating guy, at the end of the room with a stripper sitting on each leg tugging on his nipples. Was awful. I immediately turned around only to hear COUNSELOR. COUNSELOR. you see me I see you

Was payback. Years before my friends and I were at this place called blue martini in west palm and mark McGwire was in the back with two chicks on his knees and they were tugging on his nips. I told my friends watch how bad I piss him off. I went over there shouting BIG MAC OH MY GOD IM FROM SAINT LOUIS IM A HUGE FAN super loud 🤣

You've never experienced a good strip club until you get a dance from a one legged stripper that has to ask for money to play in the juke box.

 

[Noodle]

You've never experienced a good strip club until you get a dance from a one legged stripper that has to ask for money to play in the juke box.

Was this the Brass Ass in Newport, KY?

 

[Baller23Boogie]

Was this the Brass Ass in Newport, KY?

Nope.

Poor John's in Fort Wayne. We could get in underage.

When we got hungry, we'd walk down to taco bell and grab some food and bring it back to the club.

Super classy joint.

 

[Joe_Hoopsier]

I have a feeling they’re all pretty rough these days

About 10 years ago, me and 3 of my work buddies went to one in Tucson. 3 of us went to the individual VIP rooms to interview the entertainers, 3 songs for $40. When the songs were over, the interviewee said that'll be $150. It happened to all 3 of us. Of course we said hell no.
So as we return to the front pew, close to the stage, out trots the manager and 2 of his buddies to get us to pay. Through tense negotiations the mngr says we will get our $. We have cameras in the parking lot and we will put a mechanics lean on your car. In my wise beyond my years legal mind, I told him that would be just perfect........... It's not my car!
To wit, the one guy that didn't go to the VIP rooms, said "HEYYYYYYYYY, I'm the one ho drove!!!"
We all got kicked out. (the smuck that drove, whos dad was a multi millionaire doctor in Dubai, went back in a paid for all of us, puzzy).

 

[mcmurtry66]

About 10 years ago, me and 3 of my work buddies went to one in Tucson. 3 of us went to the individual VIP rooms to interview the entertainers, 3 songs for $40. When the songs were over, the interviewee said that'll be $150. It happened to all 3 of us. Of course we said hell no.
So as we return to the front pew, close to the stage, out trots the manager and 2 of his buddies to get us to pay. Through tense negotiations the mngr says we will get our $. We have cameras in the parking lot and we will put a mechanics lean on your car. In my wise beyond my years legal mind, I told him that would be just perfect........... It's not my car!
To wit, the one guy that didn't go to the VIP rooms, said "HEYYYYYYYYY, I'm the one ho drove!!!"
We all got kicked out. (the smuck that drove, whos dad was a multi millionaire doctor in Dubai, went back in a paid for all of us, puzzy).

Fantastic!!! I went with a bunch of cops to Memphis years ago. Horrible place. Private area was upstairs. Cop buddy passed out and the stripper kept sitting with him. Song after song. Wanted $900 bucks from him. Told her to go get the bouncers. He’s not paying. Army of bouncers and cops squared off. Was like road house

 

[CO. Hoosier]

Fantastic!!! I went with a bunch of cops to Memphis years ago. Horrible place. Private area was upstairs. Cop buddy passed out and the stripper kept sitting with him. Song after song. Wanted $900 bucks from him. Told her to go get the bouncers. He’s not paying. Army of bouncers and cops squared off. Was like road house

after some depos in Denver, all of us went to Sid Kings to watch the Colorado Ballet.

Nothing happened.

Five Facts About Colfax's "Sultan of Striptease," the Legendary Sid King

The diminutive Sid King was the giant personality behind Sid King’s Crazy Horse Bar, a famous strip club that graced East Colfax Avenue for more than 35 years. This Saturday, August 7, at the Studio Loft of the Ellie Caulkins Opera House, King’s son Mike will present The Fifth Dentist...

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