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Mississippi bill would criminalize masturbation (unless you wear a condom)

Noodle

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Jun 19, 2001
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AN ACT TO ENACT THE CONTRACEPTION BEGINS AT ERECTION ACT; TO DEFINE TERMS; TO PROVIDE THAT IT SHALL BE UNLAWFUL FOR A PERSON TO DISCHARGE GENETIC MATERIAL WITHOUT THE INTENT TO FERTILIZE AN EMBRYO; TO PROVIDE FOR CRIMINAL PENALTIES; TO PROVIDE CERTAIN EXCEPTIONS; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI:

SECTION 1. (1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."

(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:

(a) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;

(b) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and

(c) Ten Thousand Dollars (10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:

(a) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and

(b) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

SECTION 2.
This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025.

 
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AN ACT TO ENACT THE CONTRACEPTION BEGINS AT ERECTION ACT; TO DEFINE TERMS; TO PROVIDE THAT IT SHALL BE UNLAWFUL FOR A PERSON TO DISCHARGE GENETIC MATERIAL WITHOUT THE INTENT TO FERTILIZE AN EMBRYO; TO PROVIDE FOR CRIMINAL PENALTIES; TO PROVIDE CERTAIN EXCEPTIONS; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI:

SECTION 1. (1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."

(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:

(a) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;

(b) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and

(c) Ten Thousand Dollars (10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:

(a) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and

(b) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

SECTION 2. This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025.

@Joe_Hoopsier isn’t MS where you have your getaway house? You better watch those exes. Snitchin
 
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AN ACT TO ENACT THE CONTRACEPTION BEGINS AT ERECTION ACT; TO DEFINE TERMS; TO PROVIDE THAT IT SHALL BE UNLAWFUL FOR A PERSON TO DISCHARGE GENETIC MATERIAL WITHOUT THE INTENT TO FERTILIZE AN EMBRYO; TO PROVIDE FOR CRIMINAL PENALTIES; TO PROVIDE CERTAIN EXCEPTIONS; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI:

SECTION 1. (1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."

(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:

(a) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;

(b) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and

(c) Ten Thousand Dollars (10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:

(a) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and

(b) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

SECTION 2. This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025.

I cant afford $10,000 a week.
 
AN ACT TO ENACT THE CONTRACEPTION BEGINS AT ERECTION ACT; TO DEFINE TERMS; TO PROVIDE THAT IT SHALL BE UNLAWFUL FOR A PERSON TO DISCHARGE GENETIC MATERIAL WITHOUT THE INTENT TO FERTILIZE AN EMBRYO; TO PROVIDE FOR CRIMINAL PENALTIES; TO PROVIDE CERTAIN EXCEPTIONS; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI:

SECTION 1. (1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."

(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:

(a) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;

(b) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and

(c) Ten Thousand Dollars (10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:

(a) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and

(b) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

SECTION 2. This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025.


Oh, it also appears that you would be OK to spank your monkey in Mississippi if you have had a vasectomy.

Queery: does a pull-out count as a "contraceptive method"? It doesn't say the method has to have a certain level of efficacy.
 
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What about a wet dream? Are you safe if, in your dream, you are trying to procreate?

And menopausal women will march on the capital if this goes anywhere. They're screwed...er, no, they can't be screwed - unless by a man who (a) does not know they're menopausal and (b) is attempting to procreate.
 
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