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I’m officially sick of this garbage

DrHoops said:
As everyone here knows, I am a very liberal person when it comes to social issues. But, last night I went to Whole Foods. The last time I was there, I was with a girl I was dating who has quite a temper and is only 98 lbs, so when she drinks, as she likes to do, she can get loud and has a short fuse (In my opinion). So, last night, I went to have a beer at the Whole Foods bar before I went grocery shopping. The bartender from the time I was there with my girlfriend came and bellied up to the bar and her friend came and sat right next to her. I said, I am so sorry for what happened when I was here last time. And I just touched her shoulder when I said sorry. It came natural to me. Well, she acted like I was about to sexually assault her. She pulled away so quickly. I have never in my life experienced something like that.I was really shocked.

So, I said “I am so sorry!” I didn’t mean anything untoward at all. Nothing. Anyway her friend chimed in and said “she’s acting like that because you have no business touching her without her permission.” I said I meant nothing by that at all. I have always been an advocate for their causes. So her friend goes on to lecture me about pronouns, interrupting people when they’re talking (she was throwing so much nonsense at me I felt like I had to say something to defend myself).

But the final straw was her telling me she identifies as “queer”; again, I have no problem with that. Then she said “my husband is picking me up”. I assumed she meant a woman (it’s getting confusing) but she’s married to a guy. I said I’m sorry I misunderstood. I thought you said you were queer. I got another dressing down for misunderstanding that. I should have known that she was bisexual…even though when I said “sorry, I wasn’t thinking about being bisexual.” She actually said “Don’t label me as bisexual!” Then she said “I’m done with this conversation.”

I was flabbergasted. I would usually come away from an encounter like this feeling bad and guilty, but I don’t. They were nuts.

How can you deal with someone like that? Am I missing something? These women (I don’t know if they would like me to say women) were essentially looking for a problem that didn’t exist. Just wanting to argue for the sake of arguing.

Sigh….. What the hell???
Click to expand...
So, where to begin with this one.

First off, I shop at that Whole Foods on Weed St. The employees are terrible generally speaking. Moderately intelligent people who lack the stones to do something with their talent, so they spend their days subtly talking shit to customers who can actually afford the groceries. Avoid talking to them at all costs. The only reason I go there is they have the best produce and meat counter that’s convenient. And decent parking.

Why the hell are you drinking at grocery stores? Especially in Chicago? When that store opened my entire circle of friends had a running joke about who the people were who drink at Whole Foods? Now I know I guess.

Lastly, F these idiots you dealt with at the bar. Do you want to live in world constantly surrounded by this nonsense?

giphy.gif
 
ChiTownGoo said:
Technically it’s on Kingsbury. I used to go to that one. It’s fine. The one on Chicago is 1/2 the size and somehow better.

Probably because the only bar they have is a coffee bar on the 1st floor. Keeps the weirdos out.
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He referenced Weed St so I was trying to make it easy.

I like the one on Chicago and may switch over soon, The meat counter on Kingsbury is way better from what I can see.

Sucks they closed the small store on Huron.
 
DrHoops said:
As everyone here knows, I am a very liberal person when it comes to social issues. But, last night I went to Whole Foods. The last time I was there, I was with a girl I was dating who has quite a temper and is only 98 lbs, so when she drinks, as she likes to do, she can get loud and has a short fuse (In my opinion). So, last night, I went to have a beer at the Whole Foods bar before I went grocery shopping. The bartender from the time I was there with my girlfriend came and bellied up to the bar and her friend came and sat right next to her. I said, I am so sorry for what happened when I was here last time. And I just touched her shoulder when I said sorry. It came natural to me. Well, she acted like I was about to sexually assault her. She pulled away so quickly. I have never in my life experienced something like that.I was really shocked.

So, I said “I am so sorry!” I didn’t mean anything untoward at all. Nothing. Anyway her friend chimed in and said “she’s acting like that because you have no business touching her without her permission.” I said I meant nothing by that at all. I have always been an advocate for their causes. So her friend goes on to lecture me about pronouns, interrupting people when they’re talking (she was throwing so much nonsense at me I felt like I had to say something to defend myself).

But the final straw was her telling me she identifies as “queer”; again, I have no problem with that. Then she said “my husband is picking me up”. I assumed she meant a woman (it’s getting confusing) but she’s married to a guy. I said I’m sorry I misunderstood. I thought you said you were queer. I got another dressing down for misunderstanding that. I should have known that she was bisexual…even though when I said “sorry, I wasn’t thinking about being bisexual.” She actually said “Don’t label me as bisexual!” Then she said “I’m done with this conversation.”

I was flabbergasted. I would usually come away from an encounter like this feeling bad and guilty, but I don’t. They were nuts.

How can you deal with someone like that? Am I missing something? These women (I don’t know if they would like me to say women) were essentially looking for a problem that didn’t exist. Just wanting to argue for the sake of arguing.

Sigh….. What the hell???
Click to expand...

Stick to older women --- I hear divorced women are the best ;);) --- and not women half your weight and half your age.
I have done that and bought the T-shirt factory.
 
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sglowrider said:
Stick to older women --- I hear divorced women are the best ;);) --- and not women half your weight and half your age.
I have done that and bought the T-shirt factory.
Click to expand...
No, the girl I was with is 46. I honestly don’t enjoy being around women in their 20s or 30’s. My basic rule is that if they can’t remember Seinfeld, it’s going to be a no go.
 
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The Vid said:
So, where to begin with this one.

First off, I shop at that Whole Foods on Weed St. The employees are terrible generally speaking. Moderately intelligent people who lack the stones to do something with their talent, so they spend their days subtly talking shit to customers who can actually afford the groceries. Avoid talking to them at all costs. The only reason I go there is they have the best produce and meat counter that’s convenient. And decent parking.

Why the hell are you drinking at grocery stores? Especially in Chicago? When that store opened my entire circle of friends had a running joke about who the people were who drink at Whole Foods? Now I know I guess.

Lastly, F these idiots you dealt with at the bar. Do you want to live in world constantly surrounded by this nonsense?

giphy.gif
Click to expand...
The question of why was asked and answered. I have had a beer there maybe 4 times since I’ve lived here, so, as usual you have no idea what you’re babbling about.

I was going to the store, as I walked by the bar I felt like a hazy IPA, so I had one. Big f-ing deal you loon. How insecure are you?

As to your last stupid question, I’m not “going to live in a world like that” because most people do not live in extreme weirdness. Maybe Matsusura, and you on the extreme right, the people like this on the far extreme left.

What’s your solution? Banning them from saying whatever they want? Okay, Adolph.
 
ChiTownGoo said:
Technically it’s on Kingsbury. I used to go to that one. It’s fine. The one on Chicago is 1/2 the size and somehow better.

Probably because the only bar they have is a coffee bar on the 1st floor. Keeps the weirdos out.
Click to expand...
That’s right. Thanks for the correction. I was thinking of that Joes Place around the corner on Weed where they used to play the IU games and where you’d go in desperation to watch the game.
 
The Vid said:
So, where to begin with this one.

First off, I shop at that Whole Foods on Weed St. The employees are terrible generally speaking. Moderately intelligent people who lack the stones to do something with their talent, so they spend their days subtly talking shit to customers who can actually afford the groceries. Avoid talking to them at all costs. The only reason I go there is they have the best produce and meat counter that’s convenient. And decent parking.

Why the hell are you drinking at grocery stores? Especially in Chicago? When that store opened my entire circle of friends had a running joke about who the people were who drink at Whole Foods? Now I know I guess.

Lastly, F these idiots you dealt with at the bar. Do you want to live in world constantly surrounded by this nonsense?

giphy.gif
Click to expand...
Interesting that the red pill reference to The Matrix comes from the two brothers who both transitioned from males to females.
 
DrHoops said:
That’s right. Thanks for the correction. I was thinking of that Joes Place around the corner on Weed where they used to play the IU games and where you’d go in desperation to watch the game.
Click to expand...
You drive your Aston Martin to Whole Foods to drink while wearing Vans high tops and you’re in your 50s? Desperation is your middle name.
 
dbmhoosier said:
Whatever do you mean?

View embedded media
Click to expand...
The woman I dated for three years in college got married a few years after college and her husband took her last name. One of my friends who went to the wedding told me that he was adopted and had a falling out with his adopted parents/family so didn't really feel like he had a family or wanted to keep the last name that came with the adoption. She came from a large, pretty cool family that undoubtedly accepted him with open arms.

Through that lens, I kind of get it, but still. If things played out differently and I ended up with her, I'm hard pressed to think of a friend or family member that wouldn't give me tons of grief for taking her last name.
 
DrHoops said:
As everyone here knows, I am a very liberal person when it comes to social issues. But, last night I went to Whole Foods. The last time I was there, I was with a girl I was dating who has quite a temper and is only 98 lbs, so when she drinks, as she likes to do, she can get loud and has a short fuse (In my opinion). So, last night, I went to have a beer at the Whole Foods bar before I went grocery shopping. The bartender from the time I was there with my girlfriend came and bellied up to the bar and her friend came and sat right next to her. I said, I am so sorry for what happened when I was here last time. And I just touched her shoulder when I said sorry. It came natural to me. Well, she acted like I was about to sexually assault her. She pulled away so quickly. I have never in my life experienced something like that.I was really shocked.

So, I said “I am so sorry!” I didn’t mean anything untoward at all. Nothing. Anyway her friend chimed in and said “she’s acting like that because you have no business touching her without her permission.” I said I meant nothing by that at all. I have always been an advocate for their causes. So her friend goes on to lecture me about pronouns, interrupting people when they’re talking (she was throwing so much nonsense at me I felt like I had to say something to defend myself).

But the final straw was her telling me she identifies as “queer”; again, I have no problem with that. Then she said “my husband is picking me up”. I assumed she meant a woman (it’s getting confusing) but she’s married to a guy. I said I’m sorry I misunderstood. I thought you said you were queer. I got another dressing down for misunderstanding that. I should have known that she was bisexual…even though when I said “sorry, I wasn’t thinking about being bisexual.” She actually said “Don’t label me as bisexual!” Then she said “I’m done with this conversation.”

I was flabbergasted. I would usually come away from an encounter like this feeling bad and guilty, but I don’t. They were nuts.

How can you deal with someone like that? Am I missing something? These women (I don’t know if they would like me to say women) were essentially looking for a problem that didn’t exist. Just wanting to argue for the sake of arguing.

Sigh….. What the hell???
Click to expand...
I think we're probably on the same point of the 'liberal/conservative' spectrum and I totally get what you're saying. I haven't had quite the contentious experience you had, but I know people like that. I'm in a bad habit of saying 'you guys' whenever I talk to people and I get called out for that being offensive all the time.

Last year a person on my daughter's soccer team used they/them pronouns, but no one bothered to tell me. I was sitting next to their dad and they made a really nice play, so I mentioned what a great play she made. He replies, 'yeah, they're playing well.' Thinking that he was being demure about his daughter's play and deflecting to complement the whole team, I made a point to say 'SHE specifically is playing well tonight.' He wasn't a jerk about it, but he did finally tell me in front of everyone else we were sitting near about her pronouns like I should have known.
 
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Ohio Guy said:
Is it not common for Whole Foods to have a bar? I feel like every Whole Foods I've been to has one.
Click to expand...
I really don’t like Whole Foods. I go there all the time bc I’m single and they have premade meals but I’m not a fan of the store. Not sure what it is. Maybe mine is just shitty. But I definitely get in and out. The Amazon line there only makes things worse
 
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vesuvius13 said:
First you should find a better place to get a drink. Secondly, come up with a comeback you are comfortable with, for me **** off is good enough. Third turn it around on her and ask why she bumped into you, even if she didn't, and that you don't like inadvertent touching as you never know the sexual symbols she is sending you.
Click to expand...

This is actually pretty good, especially in the moment. It's playful and silly and most people would find it charming....but much more effective if you ended up having an awkward bump than one she's freaking out on you about (like if you bump into a hot woman accidentally in a crowded elevator).

Anyway, main point is just try to stay awesome and playful, but sincere. Sincerely apologize but don't lament on it (I fail this all the time, especially when I know I've really offended someone and feel terrible about it) because the more you lament the apology the weaker you look.

Don't be a dick of course, admit that your intention wasn't to make her uncomfortable....then go back to being a source of fun and playful awesomeness.

At a minimum you have a great story about the time a crazy girl just lost her shit on you.
 
mcmurtry66 said:
I really don’t like Whole Foods. I go there all the time bc I’m single and they have premade meals but I’m not a fan of the store. Not sure what it is. Maybe mine is just shitty. But I definitely get in and out. The Amazon line there only makes things worse
Click to expand...
Where I live now, the closest one to me is just over an hour away, so I don't go there a ton. Where I lived in/near DC there were three within 30 minutes of me and I'd pop in all the time. I never did all my grocery shopping there though. One of those DC ones was close to work and I'd probably eat at the hot/salad bar once a week for lunch.
 
Ohio Guy said:
Where I live now, the closest one to me is just over an hour away, so I don't go there a ton. Where I lived in/near DC there were three within 30 minutes of me and I'd pop in all the time. I never did all my grocery shopping there though. One of those DC ones was close to work and I'd probably eat at the hot/salad bar once a week for lunch.
Click to expand...
Grocery store, target, Whole Foods, and Trader Joe’s are within a block of each other and a mile from my house. One fell swoop of misery. My kids like whole foods’ pizza
 
DrHoops said:
As everyone here knows, I am a very liberal person when it comes to social issues. But, last night I went to Whole Foods. The last time I was there, I was with a girl I was dating who has quite a temper and is only 98 lbs, so when she drinks, as she likes to do, she can get loud and has a short fuse (In my opinion). So, last night, I went to have a beer at the Whole Foods bar before I went grocery shopping. The bartender from the time I was there with my girlfriend came and bellied up to the bar and her friend came and sat right next to her. I said, I am so sorry for what happened when I was here last time. And I just touched her shoulder when I said sorry. It came natural to me. Well, she acted like I was about to sexually assault her. She pulled away so quickly. I have never in my life experienced something like that.I was really shocked.

So, I said “I am so sorry!” I didn’t mean anything untoward at all. Nothing. Anyway her friend chimed in and said “she’s acting like that because you have no business touching her without her permission.” I said I meant nothing by that at all. I have always been an advocate for their causes. So her friend goes on to lecture me about pronouns, interrupting people when they’re talking (she was throwing so much nonsense at me I felt like I had to say something to defend myself).

But the final straw was her telling me she identifies as “queer”; again, I have no problem with that. Then she said “my husband is picking me up”. I assumed she meant a woman (it’s getting confusing) but she’s married to a guy. I said I’m sorry I misunderstood. I thought you said you were queer. I got another dressing down for misunderstanding that. I should have known that she was bisexual…even though when I said “sorry, I wasn’t thinking about being bisexual.” She actually said “Don’t label me as bisexual!” Then she said “I’m done with this conversation.”

I was flabbergasted. I would usually come away from an encounter like this feeling bad and guilty, but I don’t. They were nuts.

How can you deal with someone like that? Am I missing something? These women (I don’t know if they would like me to say women) were essentially looking for a problem that didn’t exist. Just wanting to argue for the sake of arguing.

Sigh….. What the hell???
Click to expand...
You said you were sorry a lot my friend. I wonder if that appeases her or not. If she is offended by you or something else she will be hard to deal with. Not to preach but there is a great proverb which says in Proverbs 18:19 A brother who is offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And quarrels are like the bars of a citadel.
 
I’m older now so it takes me longer to come up with pithy smart-ass comments, but …

I want to say I feel bad about feeling good about saying that a lefty has been hoist upon his own pitard.
 
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MyTeamIsOnTheFloor said:
I’m older now so it takes me longer to come up with pithy smart-ass comments, but …

I want to say I feel bad about feeling good about saying that a lefty has been hoist upon his own pitard.
Click to expand...
It's spelled PETARD

The saying is from Hamlet.
 
VanPastorMan said:
My advise to people is to do your grocery shopping first before you drink in the bar. It could get out of hand. Maybe that is why they have bars there. Drunk people will binge buy food.
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Maybe you could have an open bar after your sermons. I'm sure that some would need it.
 
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outside shooter said:
Maybe you could have an open bar after your sermons. I'm sure that some would need it.
Click to expand...
Only if they are not willing to deal with the Almighty. I do try to make my sermons interesting and bring the right kind of energy. One of my profs at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago said, "It is a sin to make the Bible boring. We have the greatest message for humanity so don't bore people with it."
 
VanPastorMan said:
My advise to people is to do your grocery shopping first before you drink in the bar. It could get out of hand. Maybe that is why they have bars there. Drunk people will binge buy food.
Click to expand...
Less practical though. Gotta find a way to keep your ice cream frozen while you are downing tequila shots.

Also depends on the family size. Last year with my two teenage boys, they would eat like locusts. I was pulling $350-$375 a week in groceries and completely filling up the trunk of the car. You can't exactly sit at a bar with 24 cubic feet of grocery bags at your feet.
 
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Ohio Guy said:
Last year a person on my daughter's soccer team used they/them pronouns, but no one bothered to tell me. I was sitting next to their dad and they made a really nice play, so I mentioned what a great play she made. He replies, 'yeah, they're playing well.' Thinking that he was being demure about his daughter's play and deflecting to complement the whole team, I made a point to say 'SHE specifically is playing well tonight.' He wasn't a jerk about it, but he did finally tell me in front of everyone else we were sitting near about her pronouns like I should have known.
Click to expand...

Why would a "they" play in a girl's league? Sounds non-committal to the cause.
 
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SqueakyClean said:
Less practical though. Gotta find a way to keep your ice cream frozen while you are downing tequila shots.

Also depends on the family size. Last year with my two teenage boys, they would eat like locusts. I was pulling $350-$375 a week in groceries and completely filling up the trunk of the car. You can't exactly sit at a bar with 24 cubic feet of grocery bags at your feet.
Click to expand...
Can you bring the cart into the bar? lol
 
VanPastorMan said:
Can you bring the cart into the bar? lol
Click to expand...
That's an interesting question. I'm guessing it depends on whether the bar is a leased sub-let of the grocery store or if it is officially a part of the grocery store itself (ie. owned by Whole Foods). Most establishments that sell food / liquor have policies of not allowing patrons to bring in food / beverages from outside sources.

So if it is a sub-lease, I'm guessing they would frown upon you bringing in your groceries (as there is nothing to prevent you from opening a bag of chips that you purchased from the store and start munching away on them as you down your tequila shots).

If the bar is owned by the grocery itself, I guess you could theoretically eat / drink the items you just purchased. I know that stores frown upon you eating the items you are purchasing until after they are paid for, but in this case, you have already completed the transaction. I would guess there would still be a written policy forbidding it, but it wouldn't surprise me if somebody challenged it.
 
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mattndallas said:
Why would a "they" play in a girl's league? Sounds non-committal to the cause.
Click to expand...
I didn't see it that way. My daughter's teammate wasn't transitioning or anything like that and the teammate and their family were pretty cool people.

To be totally honest, I have no problem being respectful in this regard, but even typing this post was difficult to navigate because referring to a singular person as 'they' doesn't yet compute with my hardwiring. And it does seem like at least in my instance I was given SOME grace. I think that's the problem the OP was getting at. He meant nothing by his gesture, but was treated like someone hateful for an otherwise seemingly innocuous encounter.
 
as with Prince when he became TAFKAP, sometimes people just want to see how much they can jerk you around.

in this case are the chicks at the bar the ones seeing how much they can jerk Hoops around, or is Hoops jerking everyone else around.
 
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