As I sit in the delivery room awaiting the birth of my first child while my wife rests, I thought why not visit the WC to kill some time.
My father was a good guy but not the best role model - liked the bottle a little too much. My FIL is one of those rich doctor pricks who lives in Carmel - joking, he’s actually a really good guy.
Anyway, please feel free to share any of your fatherly wisdom/advice that you’d recommend for raising a boy.
If you’re curious, we’ve decided on “Van Pastor Stool” as his name. “Bulk McMurtry” was a close second.
i'll give you a middle finger for htat but since you took the time to call me out i'll give you a real response and maybe others will add on.
1. get off the wc and get some sleep. you'll need it
2. as soon as the kid can walk pick a sport: soccer. it's the best sport. the kid will run constantly and you want him worn out. plus if he turns out average sized he can still excel. later introduce him to golf. you'll want something you can do together.
3. get him a sturdy dog. english bulldogs are good.
4. teach him to box. to defend himself and others.
5. go to all his games but don't coach.
6. make science and nature cool and fun so maybe later he'll major in a hard science, but introduce him to lots and lots of fiction (always have a book going)
7. make him volunteer
8. punctuality, politeness. manners, respect, respect to girls, indispensable and nonnegotiable.
9. monitor your own behavior. no hot assistants. if tempted indulge on a 911 or a trip or if you're poor get fat or something. there's truth in whoever said show me the hottest chick on earth and somewhere there's a guy sick of Fing her. truer words were never spoken. fight to stay together. crushes pass. the regret that comes with being a half time dad, regardless of how devoted and committed you are, cannot be reduced to words. dropping them off at the exes or the outlaws is a pain you don't ever want to experience, much less every single week.
10. get life insurance now.
congrats and get that butter maker noodle posted. you'll be celibate for a spell. she might get horny and start coming at ya sooner than you expect and believe me that ain't for the faint of heart. she will not look like she did. pregnancy is brutal. better to say you don't want her to over do it.
edit: and if you live in a shitty place and want to move get cooking and do it before school