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Fatherly Advice from the WC

IUclover

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Nov 19, 2015
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As I sit in the delivery room awaiting the birth of my first child while my wife rests, I thought why not visit the WC to kill some time.

My father was a good guy but not the best role model - liked the bottle a little too much. My FIL is one of those rich doctor pricks who lives in Carmel - joking, he’s actually a really good guy.

Anyway, please feel free to share any of your fatherly wisdom/advice that you’d recommend for raising a boy.

If you’re curious, we’ve decided on “Van Pastor Stool” as his name. “Bulk McMurtry” was a close second.
 
Spend as much time as you can with your kid. If you don't I think you'll regret it later on.

Don't use grandmas and grandpas as a drop off point because you and your wife want to do something. To me that is okay occasionally but with a lot of people it gets to be a habit.
 
As I sit in the delivery room awaiting the birth of my first child while my wife rests, I thought why not visit the WC to kill some time.

My father was a good guy but not the best role model - liked the bottle a little too much. My FIL is one of those rich doctor pricks who lives in Carmel - joking, he’s actually a really good guy.

Anyway, please feel free to share any of your fatherly wisdom/advice that you’d recommend for raising a boy.

If you’re curious, we’ve decided on “Van Pastor Stool” as his name. “Bulk McMurtry” was a close second.
i'll give you a middle finger for htat but since you took the time to call me out i'll give you a real response and maybe others will add on.
1. get off the wc and get some sleep. you'll need it
2. as soon as the kid can walk pick a sport: soccer. it's the best sport. the kid will run constantly and you want him worn out. plus if he turns out average sized he can still excel. later introduce him to golf. you'll want something you can do together.
3. get him a sturdy dog. english bulldogs are good.
4. teach him to box. to defend himself and others.
5. go to all his games but don't coach.
6. make science and nature cool and fun so maybe later he'll major in a hard science, but introduce him to lots and lots of fiction (always have a book going)
7. make him volunteer
8. punctuality, politeness. manners, respect, respect to girls, indispensable and nonnegotiable.
9. monitor your own behavior. no hot assistants. if tempted indulge on a 911 or a trip or if you're poor get fat or something. there's truth in whoever said show me the hottest chick on earth and somewhere there's a guy sick of Fing her. truer words were never spoken. fight to stay together. crushes pass. the regret that comes with being a half time dad, regardless of how devoted and committed you are, cannot be reduced to words. dropping them off at the exes or the outlaws is a pain you don't ever want to experience, much less every single week.
10. get life insurance now.

congrats and get that butter maker noodle posted. you'll be celibate for a spell. she might get horny and start coming at ya sooner than you expect and believe me that ain't for the faint of heart. she will not look like she did. pregnancy is brutal. better to say you don't want her to over do it.

edit: and if you live in a shitty place and want to move get cooking and do it before school
 
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5. go to all his games but don't coach.
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Congratulations! It's about to get bumpy!

General words of advice:

Cherish every minute, it goes by shockingly fast.

Take pictures every chance you get. Your memories are priceless, but they will fade over time. Taking pictures helps keeps those memories alive.

Don't be afraid to let him make mistakes. Some lessons are hard ones to learn, but they have the largest impact.....(unless of course you see him about to stick a fork in an electrical socket, that's one you can jump in on).

Small children are germ factories. Especially when they first get to daycare or go off to kindergarten. You will be sick more often in the next six years than the rest of your life combined.

You will buy at least 20 sets of clothing or shoes that the child will never wear or possibly just wear once before they have grown out of it. It's fine, just accept it and dont dwell on it. I've paid for about 12 pairs of hiking boots for boy scout summer camp for my two boys over the years and I think they have about 100 hours of combined time actually wearing them.

Read to him early and often. Every night before bed, if possible. It's absolutely amazing how much that kickstarts their education while also fortifying the bond between you.

Be prepared to have google on hand because the amount of dumb questions that you are going to have to answer is going to increase alot. Start looking up random facts of information. Do whales have taste buds? How many claws does a T-rex have, 2 or 3? Does 80% of the world include insects in their normal diet?

(BTW, Yes, 3, and Yes)

It might sound weird, but get a scrapbook for weird sayings. There are going to be strings of words that you put together that you never though would be uttered by your lips. Write them down. They make for fabulous stories later in life.

Hug him as often as you can when he is young, because when he hits about 13 it will become alot less frequent.
 
Spend as much time as you can with your kid. If you don't I think you'll regret it later on.

Don't use grandmas and grandpas as a drop off point because you and your wife want to do something. To me that is okay occasionally but with a lot of people it gets to be a habit.
As a recent grandparent, I love to be the drop off point!
 
Congrats. Babies are easy, minus the irregular sleep patterns.

Once they become mobile on their own, you'll have your hands full. But with two of you, no big deal.

Once they start talking back, you'll do well to not lose your shit on them. Just leave the room when needed.

Once the 2nd one comes, good luck.

Keep expectations in check, for both the kid and your own parenting skills. You'll f up. It's OK.
 
As a recent grandparent, I love to be the drop off point!
I can understand that but some couples I know just assume that they can drop off their kids at their grandparents because they don't have anything else to do. If I lived closed where my granddaughter could be dropped off I would love it BUT I wouldn't want my daughter to just assume that she could drop her off any time.
 
As I sit in the delivery room awaiting the birth of my first child while my wife rests, I thought why not visit the WC to kill some time.

My father was a good guy but not the best role model - liked the bottle a little too much. My FIL is one of those rich doctor pricks who lives in Carmel - joking, he’s actually a really good guy.

Anyway, please feel free to share any of your fatherly wisdom/advice that you’d recommend for raising a boy.

If you’re curious, we’ve decided on “Van Pastor Stool” as his name. “Bulk McMurtry” was a close second.

Write down every profanity your bride screams during the contractions. You'll learn a lot of new combinations . . .
 
Write down every profanity your bride screams during the contractions. You'll learn a lot of new combinations . . .

Doesn't work that way for most these days, old fart. They jab that epidural in at first sign of discomfort, and then generally a nothingburger after that.
 
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I can understand that but some couples I know just assume that they can drop off their kids at their grandparents because they don't have anything else to do. If I lived closed where my granddaughter could be dropped off I would love it BUT I wouldn't want my daughter to just assume that she could drop her off any time.
Well, yeah, there should be some boundaries. We try to let our daughter and son-in-law our schedules for the week or month so they can work around it.

We're pretty open with each other about our schedules, so that helps.

But even if they didn't, they can drop my granddaughter off any time. And I have a grandson on the way, so I'm sure we'll be watching them both soon.

Maybe I just live a boring life, so watching a 2 year old is my excitement. lol
 
Doesn't work that way for most these days, old fart. They jab that epidural in at first sign of discomfort, and then generally a nothingburger after that.

For my first daughter, we went in to get induced at 6 am, my bride got a epidural around 12-1 pm and the baby came at 11:11 pm that night.

Guess what time the epidural wore off? About 11 pm. Damn near got a black eye out of that one. The nurse didn't have time to get another in her. I wasn't going south of the equator, but north wasn't any safer.
 
Congratulations!

This changes everything. That was my first thought when my daughter emerged. Enjoy the adventure.
 
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As I sit in the delivery room awaiting the birth of my first child while my wife rests, I thought why not visit the WC to kill some time.

My father was a good guy but not the best role model - liked the bottle a little too much. My FIL is one of those rich doctor pricks who lives in Carmel - joking, he’s actually a really good guy.

Anyway, please feel free to share any of your fatherly wisdom/advice that you’d recommend for raising a boy.

If you’re curious, we’ve decided on “Van Pastor Stool” as his name. “Bulk McMurtry” was a close second.
Congratulations! I can say that becoming a father was the most transformational experience I've ever had. You can't help but change as a result, most likely for the better.

Three quick recommendations:

1. Change a lot of diapers, and feed them a lot. It won't just help your marriage, but I think it helps in forming a bond with the baby.

2. Pick up Michael Lewis's Fatherhood. A great read with lots of good advice.

3. Set up a gmail or icloud account for your boy right away. Every once in a while, email that account what is going on with you, videos you took of him, an account of what he did that day, and how you're feeling about things--your worries, and fears, how proud you are, etc. It will be an amazing gift to give him when he's older.
 
Congratulations! I can say that becoming a father was the most transformational experience I've ever had. You can't help but change as a result, most likely for the better.

Three quick recommendations:

1. Change a lot of diapers, and feed them a lot. It won't just help your marriage, but I think it helps in forming a bond with the baby.

2. Pick up Michael Lewis's Fatherhood. A great read with lots of good advice.

3. Set up a gmail or icloud account for your boy right away. Every once in a while, email that account what is going on with you, videos you took of him, an account of what he did that day, and how you're feeling about things--your worries, and fears, how proud you are, etc. It will be an amazing gift to give him when he's older.
brilliant
 
LOL. That was my #1 Uncle Mark play.
I have younger brothers who did it. It was like a late 60's nuclear arms race when they started having kids. Playskool's Neil Peart junior Hemispheres drum kit with temple blocks and windchime bars? Yes please and add the tubular bells option while you're at it.
 
As I sit in the delivery room awaiting the birth of my first child while my wife rests, I thought why not visit the WC to kill some time.

My father was a good guy but not the best role model - liked the bottle a little too much. My FIL is one of those rich doctor pricks who lives in Carmel - joking, he’s actually a really good guy.

Anyway, please feel free to share any of your fatherly wisdom/advice that you’d recommend for raising a boy.

If you’re curious, we’ve decided on “Van Pastor Stool” as his name. “Bulk McMurtry” was a close second.

Good luck. Brief advice:
  • Mentally prepare yourself for long nights and little sleep
  • Don't be afraid for ask for breaks/help from others, particularly at the hospital
    • We felt guilty about using a night nurse with our first and I was literally up for 36 straight hours
  • It's impossible and futile to try with a first time dad - but try to stop yourself if you are being overprotective as your kid grows and is discovering the world and themselves
    • We were far too overprotective with our oldest in hindsight
 
My wife refused the epidural for all 4 of our kids because she didn’t trust that it was completely safe for the baby.

One of the many reasons I don’t mess with her.
My mom said she intended to go without, but caved early.
 
My wife refused the epidural for all 4 of our kids because she didn’t trust that it was completely safe for the baby.

One of the many reasons I don’t mess with her.

More power to her. I think like 90+% take them these days.
 
I won't be so presumptuous as to think I can offer any advice better than what has been offered above.
Just don't be a helicopter parent.
And again, congratulations.
 
Good luck. Brief advice:
  • Mentally prepare yourself for long nights and little sleep
  • Don't be afraid for ask for breaks/help from others, particularly at the hospital
    • We felt guilty about using a night nurse with our first and I was literally up for 36 straight hours
  • It's impossible and futile to try with a first time dad - but try to stop yourself if you are being overprotective as your kid grows and is discovering the world and themselves
    • We were far too overprotective with our oldest in hindsight


I don't think we were overprotective of our first..... but I do think we gave him way too much attention, in that we were constantly entertaining him, taking him places, etc....as such to this day he can't entertain himself for shit. He's overall a good kid and very bright, but the constant nagging for our attention endlessly is a very annoying habit we're having to work hard to break him from now.

In contrast, our daughter didn't get the undivided attention that gets heaped on the first- born. As such, she does a great job going off and playing on her own, using her imagination much better, etc... and is generally a much more pleasant child.
 
As I sit in the delivery room awaiting the birth of my first child while my wife rests, I thought why not visit the WC to kill some time.

My father was a good guy but not the best role model - liked the bottle a little too much. My FIL is one of those rich doctor pricks who lives in Carmel - joking, he’s actually a really good guy.

Anyway, please feel free to share any of your fatherly wisdom/advice that you’d recommend for raising a boy.

If you’re curious, we’ve decided on “Van Pastor Stool” as his name. “Bulk McMurtry” was a close second.
I am Van Pastor Stood because I Stood on the Word of God. Congrats on the birth of your child. Is it a boy or girl? Teach your children to be honest,hard working, and let them know they are loved without question and they don't have to do anything to receive the love from their father. You love them because they are yours. Also warn them from taking short cuts in life. Many times short cuts cause more devastation and hamper a good life. Teach them to think of others before themselves because this is a selfish world and you don't want them to be part of the problem but the solution.
 
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