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Friday Funnies

A cop is waiting across the street from a bar parking lot late on a Saturday night, watching for drunks trying to drive home. After a short wait, one particularly sad case stumbles out the door, front of his shirt soaked, bleary-eyed, confused, wandering the parking lot looking for his car. He locates his car, fumbles for his keys, gets in (bumping his head in the process) and drives off, bumping the curb on the way.



Of course he doesn't get more than a half-dozen blocks before the cop is on him, and he immediately pulls over. The cop has him step out of the car, sizes him up, and administers several field sobriety tests, with much effort (the driver has trouble understanding some of the tests). The driver fails all the tests miserably: can't touch his nose, can't walk straight, can't stand on one foot, can't recite a speedy alphabet.



The final legal step, of course, is the breathalyzer, so the cop asks his subject to blow into the tube. Green light. In disbelief, the cop checks the breathalyzer and has the suspect try again. Another green light -- the guy's blood-alcohol level is legal.



"All right," says the cop, "how can you pass a breath test when you're so obviously falling-down drunk?" "Well, it's like this," replies the guy. "You've heard of being the Designated Driver? I'm the Designated Decoy."



and a chick...


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Same playbook, different election

"And why are Dominion voting machines used to much in swing states?"

Elon's an idiot. The majority of counties in Swing states that used Dominion machines in 2020 (283 of 351) went to Trump...It's Dems who should be complaing about "rigged machines"... ;)

"A review of 10 key states (Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Michigan, Minnesota, Nevada, North Carolina, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin) finds that Dominion systems were used in 351 of 731 counties. Trump won 283 of those counties, 81 percent of the total. He won 79 percent of the counties that didn’t use Dominion systems."

Uh, he lost Arizona, Georgia, Michigan, Minnesota, Nevada, and Pennsylvania. All swing states. North Carolina he won after a long time of counting votes - Seems like it was at least a week. Why did it take so long?

Why didn't you answer the other questions - aren't these machines supposed to not be connected to the internet?

And what are they doing, outside of collecting the votes and counting them. What other software is being run?

Why aren't these questions being asked?

EDIT: It's probably news to you, but votes aren't counted by 'county'.

Polls - - a week out

Dems feel increasingly bullish about PA, both in terms of early vote as well as ED prospects.

First off despite increased efforts and turnout from GOP registered voters, Dems still lead 941,000--547,000 in terms of votes cast by registered Dems vs registered Pubs. So nearly a 400,000 vote lead.

But beyond just the raw numbers, Dems are pretty happy with the composition of the early vote...

With the already demonstrated generation gap in the early vote in PA (Women lead by 13%), as well as the generation gap that shows up in actual polling it's reasonable to assume that some of the registered female repubs who voted early by mail so far are voting for Harris. And of the GOP mail votes that have been cast they are overwhelmingly coming from areas where Haley did very well in the Primary. For reference PA has a closed Primary and Haley got over 130,000 votes in PA despite the Primary occurring 7 weeks after she left the race.

We won't know how Haley voters split until after the election. But a significant number of GOP voters who cast mail ballots in 2020 actually voted for Biden. So it's pretty reasonable to assume a number of these early votes cast by Haley supporters are voting for Harris. But we won't find out till the votes are counted...

Also fully 93% of the early GOP vote comes from 2020 voters. Which means they aren't doing a good job of turning out new or lower propensity voters. Of that 547,000 votes returned early by the GOP, 47% come from voters who voted on ED in 2020.

On the other hand of the 940,000 votes returned by Dems only 12% come from people who voted on election day in 2020. That means the Dems total includes a combination of both mail voters from 2020, as well as New or non-2020 voters...

Voter registration in Nevada is down to +8755 D. On Sept. 30th the gap was just short of 19k for the Ds. I don’t have a number for GOP voters now registered in Nevada. It was 574,270 on Sept 30th. I have this idea that pushing early voting (this is what the Ds have done so well since 2004) actually increases that party’s overall vote. It looks like to be that the GOP could have added 15,000 new voters since Oct 1st and since they are doing so during early voting it’s an actual vote. I was wrong about cannibalizing the vote in the past. I think we could seeing +500,000 GOP votes cast this year and the GOP is shy of 370,000 cast right now. There is a lot more potential GOP votes out there for IPEV (today), mail in ballots and EV.
Have the returned numbers from Clark Co been updated yet. As of last night they were still lagging significantly behind...

The next president inherits a remarkable economy

Dude. Digressions is an actual thoughtful poster (rare around and i should know b/c i put no thought into anything I post).

Quit reminding us you're 26.
He was being a dick last week for no reason. I told him he had a reckoning coming. I saw the opening with the uninformed economic drivel he shared above. If that’s your idea of thoughtful we have a lot to teach you as well.

Hopefully he will have learned something.
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Trump suggests Cheney should be in front of a firing squad

Its obvious he wasn't talking about lining her up for an actual firing squad. Taking it to that extreme kills what should be the overall point from all this... Why...In THE PHUCK...is a candidate for President talking about a political foe (ironically in his own party), having guns pointed at her? Its so absurd. And further, like most things, he sounded like a complete dumbass saying it...what the hell does "9 barrels pointing back at her face..." even mean??

He's the worst...but when his opponents start trying to interpret the crap he says, and make it worse than what he actually says, it leaves the door open for Trump Apologists to completely discount the crap he says.

"I find it hard to stomach politicians that advocate and push to send troops in to harms way...that have never, and will never, put themselves in to the same situations." A normal human being says it someway like that. The whacked out guy on the street corner, the guy that's been drinking all day, the guy we all make efforts to avoid...that's who says it how Trump did.

Yet he's likely going to be the President of the United States, again... Its embarrassing.

And yes...before the apologists feverishly back the village idiot... There are also embarrassing Harris things out there too. Such a fun choice.

Trump suggests Cheney should be in front of a firing squad

Just another day in Trump world.

Trump is uniquely unqualified to be President.

If I firmly believed in every single Trump policy and was firmly opposed to every one of Harris's policies, the decision to vote for Harris would still be crystal clear. I value my country and our democracy much more.
Wow separating little kids from their parents is ok? And tax cuts that mainly benefited the Uber wealthy and absolutely drove the national debt through the roof and appointing judges who allow him to commit crimes without accountability. Yep those were great things. I’ve never believed in all the policies that a candidate I’ve voted for has espoused. But I’ve always voted for who I thought had the character, decency, temperament and morality this country deserves and needs. The dancing Orange orangutan has absolutely none of these. I don’t agree with everything Harris wants to do but I’ve gladly voted for her and hope she kicks his arse and moderates her stances. People needs to anlso learn that the president doesn’t make the laws. He just signs the bills. So it’s highly unlikely that much of her agenda will get implemented because Congress will remain divided.

He’s already preparing his cult followers for the loss by saying he can only lose if the dems cheat. Same as 2020. Thankfully there’s a different president in charge. I’d bet the current president won’t sit in the White House lunch room just watching the violence. I’m sure we’ve learned our lesson and that there will be officers who will be able to suppress the violence with force if necessary.
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Peacock Network?

When I tried to sign up for Peacock and download my computer browser wouldn't support it (i'm still in the Dark ages with Windows 7). I'm not computer savvy enough to change my browser. So I wanted to settle for the streaming radio broadcast. When I went to Indiana University Football Network and got directed to a site called Tune In and signed up for their service. They offer a 7 day free trial, and then it is $9.99 per month or 79.99 if paid annually. I tested it out with my Computer. Obviously nothing streaming right now on IU platform. but I went to the other offerings on their site- music, radio stations, etc. It worked with my speakers and I was getting sound.
Wonder if anyone else has used the site for the football broadcasts and whether it is reliable. I assume there will be no content streamed until the Pre Game Show starts. thanks for helping an Old Fart Computer Illiterate.
If I want radio I stream WHCC out of Ellettsville.
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