Friday funnies..

[sdhoosier]

This older gentleman had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl

As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty. He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there.

“No,” the man replied, The seat is empty.”

“This is incredible” said the first man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, one of the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?

The Second man replied, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This will be the first Super Bowl we haven’t been together since we go married in 1967.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. That’s terrible. But couldn’t you find someone else – a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?”

The man shook his head. “No, They’re all at the funeral.”


And a chick

 

[Eppy99]

Youre on a hot streak here with your jokes. I think that's three in a row I've laughed at. Youre getting better in your old age. Keep up the good work. The ladies ain't to shabby either!

 

[Eppy99]

This older gentleman had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl

As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty. He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there.

“No,” the man replied, The seat is empty.”

“This is incredible” said the first man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, one of the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?

The Second man replied, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This will be the first Super Bowl we haven’t been together since we go married in 1967.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. That’s terrible. But couldn’t you find someone else – a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?”

The man shook his head. “No, They’re all at the funeral.”


And a chick

I like how the website is called custom hotness. She does kinda seem like a bot chiseled perfectly. She's got the fake boobs, all her curves seem perfectly manufactured. I actually think she's a bot.

 

[HoosiersChamps]

Youre on a hot streak here with your jokes. I think that's three in a row I've laughed at. Youre getting better in your old age. Keep up the good work. The ladies ain't to shabby either!

What jokes are you referring to?

 

[Eppy99]

What jokes are you referring to?

You're one of those guys that stares at a girls tits and forgets to look at her face?

 

[37Hoosier]

she looks totally fake...kind of stepford wives fake

 

[sdhoosier]

I like how the website is called custom hotness. She does kinda seem like a bot chiseled perfectly. She's got the fake boobs, all her curves seem perfectly manufactured. I actually think she's a bot.

I think she may have had a couple of ribs removed ..that waist is unbelievable

 

[Coach Pete Bell]

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,"How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your gloves, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says, "$500"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth with the Priest to confess his sins and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that crap again, you're in my closet now."

 

[HoosiersChamps]

You're one of those guys that stares at a girls tits and forgets to look at her face?

What is this "face" thing of which you speak?