Parenting and teenage parties

[BradStevens]

So Brad Jr. went to his first high school party last night. Kid he knew since elementary school threw it. He and a neighbor went together (walked to it).

30 minutes later they're back at my house. They left because it was "boring." About 100 kids, lots of girls, some dressed in quite revealing Halloween outfits (learned this from another neighbor whose daughter went and stayed until the end). Lots of alcohol there--beer, liquor. Parents knew, supplied some, and were there at the time. When I asked, so what was boring about it, Brad Jr. said "they were just standing around listening to music." (I'm guessing part of it was fear).

By 10 pm, several kids were hammered (per my other source) including a few girls who were "crossed"--for the uninitiated, that means both high and drunk. The parents then told the kids to leave (many kids also brought backpacks of booze into the party, by the way) and when they didn't go quickly, called the cops on their own party and it was broken up by the police.

So, for parents out there, how do you feel about this? I'm OK with my son experiencing it (and kinda wished he had stayed longer to see actual drunk people act stupidly and just get used to an environment like that) but am really turned off by parents hosting a party with booze for 14 and 15 year olds. I guess I'm a full-fledged parent now, because all I could think of was, what happens if one of those kids gets hit by a car while walking home hammered (this is an urban suburb, so everything is pretty close)? Or the girls get harassed, or worse, walking around at night, drunk, in a sexy outfit?

 

[mcmurtry66]

So Brad Jr. went to his first high school party last night. Kid he knew since elementary school threw it. He and a neighbor went together (walked to it).

30 minutes later they're back at my house. They left because it was "boring." About 100 kids, lots of girls, some dressed in quite revealing Halloween outfits (learned this from another neighbor whose daughter went and stayed until the end). Lots of alcohol there--beer, liquor. Parents knew, supplied some, and were there at the time. When I asked, so what was boring about it, Brad Jr. said "they were just standing around listening to music." (I'm guessing part of it was fear).

By 10 pm, several kids were hammered (per my other source) including a few girls who were "crossed"--for the uninitiated, that means both high and drunk. The parents then told the kids to leave (many kids also brought backpacks of booze into the party, by the way) and when they didn't go quickly, called the cops on their own party and it was broken up by the police.

So, for parents out there, how do you feel about this? I'm OK with my son experiencing it (and kinda wished he had stayed longer to see actual drunk people act stupidly and just get used to an environment like that) but am really turned off by parents hosting a party with booze for 14 and 15 year olds. I guess I'm a full-fledged parent now, because all I could think of was, what happens if one of those kids gets hit by a car while walking home hammered (this is an urban suburb, so everything is pretty close)? Or the girls get harassed, or worse, walking around at night, drunk, in a sexy outfit?

Don’t know social host liability law in Illinois but I’m sure there’s a statute. Those parents are Fing morons. 14 yrs old!! sponsoring a party with booze is idiotic.

 

[mcmurtry66]

So Brad Jr. went to his first high school party last night. Kid he knew since elementary school threw it. He and a neighbor went together (walked to it).

30 minutes later they're back at my house. They left because it was "boring." About 100 kids, lots of girls, some dressed in quite revealing Halloween outfits (learned this from another neighbor whose daughter went and stayed until the end). Lots of alcohol there--beer, liquor. Parents knew, supplied some, and were there at the time. When I asked, so what was boring about it, Brad Jr. said "they were just standing around listening to music." (I'm guessing part of it was fear).

By 10 pm, several kids were hammered (per my other source) including a few girls who were "crossed"--for the uninitiated, that means both high and drunk. The parents then told the kids to leave (many kids also brought backpacks of booze into the party, by the way) and when they didn't go quickly, called the cops on their own party and it was broken up by the police.

So, for parents out there, how do you feel about this? I'm OK with my son experiencing it (and kinda wished he had stayed longer to see actual drunk people act stupidly and just get used to an environment like that) but am really turned off by parents hosting a party with booze for 14 and 15 year olds. I guess I'm a full-fledged parent now, because all I could think of was, what happens if one of those kids gets hit by a car while walking home hammered (this is an urban suburb, so everything is pretty close)? Or the girls get harassed, or worse, walking around at night, drunk, in a sexy outfit?

My daughter has a sneaker ball tonight. I tell her no matter what you don’t leave go for walks or any of that shit without texting me permission first. And they all dress like they’re in sobe. Hell they wear short shorts and hoodies to school. Is what it is but alcohol at that age doesn’t fly. Dipshit parents.

We had a divorcee house where mom was a trainwreck out on dates where we could sneak booze and crash in the basement. No one was sponsoring that shit. I’m all fired up now. Gonna tell aloha he’s a moron in a minute

 

[Univee2]

So Brad Jr. went to his first high school party last night. Kid he knew since elementary school threw it. He and a neighbor went together (walked to it).

30 minutes later they're back at my house. They left because it was "boring." About 100 kids, lots of girls, some dressed in quite revealing Halloween outfits (learned this from another neighbor whose daughter went and stayed until the end). Lots of alcohol there--beer, liquor. Parents knew, supplied some, and were there at the time. When I asked, so what was boring about it, Brad Jr. said "they were just standing around listening to music." (I'm guessing part of it was fear).

By 10 pm, several kids were hammered (per my other source) including a few girls who were "crossed"--for the uninitiated, that means both high and drunk. The parents then told the kids to leave (many kids also brought backpacks of booze into the party, by the way) and when they didn't go quickly, called the cops on their own party and it was broken up by the police.

So, for parents out there, how do you feel about this? I'm OK with my son experiencing it (and kinda wished he had stayed longer to see actual drunk people act stupidly and just get used to an environment like that) but am really turned off by parents hosting a party with booze for 14 and 15 year olds. I guess I'm a full-fledged parent now, because all I could think of was, what happens if one of those kids gets hit by a car while walking home hammered (this is an urban suburb, so everything is pretty close)? Or the girls get harassed, or worse, walking around at night, drunk, in a sexy outfit?

I don’t mean to be flip but I had to laugh at “called the cops on their own party.”

But, seriously, you have to question the judgment of parents who would supply alcohol to minors.

 

[snarlcakes]

So Brad Jr. went to his first high school party last night. Kid he knew since elementary school threw it. He and a neighbor went together (walked to it).

30 minutes later they're back at my house. They left because it was "boring." About 100 kids, lots of girls, some dressed in quite revealing Halloween outfits (learned this from another neighbor whose daughter went and stayed until the end). Lots of alcohol there--beer, liquor. Parents knew, supplied some, and were there at the time. When I asked, so what was boring about it, Brad Jr. said "they were just standing around listening to music." (I'm guessing part of it was fear).

By 10 pm, several kids were hammered (per my other source) including a few girls who were "crossed"--for the uninitiated, that means both high and drunk. The parents then told the kids to leave (many kids also brought backpacks of booze into the party, by the way) and when they didn't go quickly, called the cops on their own party and it was broken up by the police.

So, for parents out there, how do you feel about this? I'm OK with my son experiencing it (and kinda wished he had stayed longer to see actual drunk people act stupidly and just get used to an environment like that) but am really turned off by parents hosting a party with booze for 14 and 15 year olds. I guess I'm a full-fledged parent now, because all I could think of was, what happens if one of those kids gets hit by a car while walking home hammered (this is an urban suburb, so everything is pretty close)? Or the girls get harassed, or worse, walking around at night, drunk, in a sexy outfit?

The parents hosting are f#cking idiots and asses for doing it. As for your son, how long did you last when you got your first blow job? I was nowhere near 30 minutes.

 

[stollcpa]

So Brad Jr. went to his first high school party last night. Kid he knew since elementary school threw it. He and a neighbor went together (walked to it).

30 minutes later they're back at my house. They left because it was "boring." About 100 kids, lots of girls, some dressed in quite revealing Halloween outfits (learned this from another neighbor whose daughter went and stayed until the end). Lots of alcohol there--beer, liquor. Parents knew, supplied some, and were there at the time. When I asked, so what was boring about it, Brad Jr. said "they were just standing around listening to music." (I'm guessing part of it was fear).

By 10 pm, several kids were hammered (per my other source) including a few girls who were "crossed"--for the uninitiated, that means both high and drunk. The parents then told the kids to leave (many kids also brought backpacks of booze into the party, by the way) and when they didn't go quickly, called the cops on their own party and it was broken up by the police.

So, for parents out there, how do you feel about this? I'm OK with my son experiencing it (and kinda wished he had stayed longer to see actual drunk people act stupidly and just get used to an environment like that) but am really turned off by parents hosting a party with booze for 14 and 15 year olds. I guess I'm a full-fledged parent now, because all I could think of was, what happens if one of those kids gets hit by a car while walking home hammered (this is an urban suburb, so everything is pretty close)? Or the girls get harassed, or worse, walking around at night, drunk, in a sexy outfit?

One of my best friends caused a stir in our town when his daughter was in high school. He allowed his daughter to have a pool party and after party in their basement. Kids brought boos. Instead of preaching to the kids, he took the car keys from all kids and made all attendees spend the night in the basement. Many adults excoriated him for allowing the liquor. I thought it was a great thing he did.

Some kids admitted later getting sick took away their appetite for more drunk nights.

 

[IUCrazy2]

So Brad Jr. went to his first high school party last night. Kid he knew since elementary school threw it. He and a neighbor went together (walked to it).

30 minutes later they're back at my house. They left because it was "boring." About 100 kids, lots of girls, some dressed in quite revealing Halloween outfits (learned this from another neighbor whose daughter went and stayed until the end). Lots of alcohol there--beer, liquor. Parents knew, supplied some, and were there at the time. When I asked, so what was boring about it, Brad Jr. said "they were just standing around listening to music." (I'm guessing part of it was fear).

By 10 pm, several kids were hammered (per my other source) including a few girls who were "crossed"--for the uninitiated, that means both high and drunk. The parents then told the kids to leave (many kids also brought backpacks of booze into the party, by the way) and when they didn't go quickly, called the cops on their own party and it was broken up by the police.

So, for parents out there, how do you feel about this? I'm OK with my son experiencing it (and kinda wished he had stayed longer to see actual drunk people act stupidly and just get used to an environment like that) but am really turned off by parents hosting a party with booze for 14 and 15 year olds. I guess I'm a full-fledged parent now, because all I could think of was, what happens if one of those kids gets hit by a car while walking home hammered (this is an urban suburb, so everything is pretty close)? Or the girls get harassed, or worse, walking around at night, drunk, in a sexy outfit?

I think it is a fine line. You want them to be comfortable enough to come to you and say, "Hey, I have been drinking and I need you to come get me...." while at the same time not really condoning the behavior.

I think modeling good behavior at home is good too. This may step on some toes but I still have adult friends who approach alcohol as giddily as we did as teens. If you are going to do it around the kids, show them you can have a glass of wine with dinner or whatever without getting hammered and when they are at an appropriate age, offer them one from time to time too.

I am not the cool parent that is going to help my HS kid throw a rager....

 

[IUCrazy2]

One of my best friends caused a stir in our town when his daughter was in high school. He allowed his daughter to have a pool party and after party in their basement. Kids brought boos. Instead of preaching to the kids, he took the car keys from all kids and made all attendees spend the night in the basement. Many adults excoriated him for allowing the liquor. I thought it was a great thing he did.

Some kids admitted later getting sick took away their appetite for more drunk nights.

That is only cool if he cleared it with the parents of the other kids first.

 

[Hoopsdoc1978]

The parents hosting are f#cking idiots and asses for doing it. As for your son, how long did you last when you got your first blow job? I was nowhere near 30 minutes.

30 minutes? I didn’t last 30 SECONDS.

 

[stollcpa]

That is only cool if he cleared it with the parents of the other kids first.

He didn’t clear anything because he learned of the boos after the party.

 

[IUCrazy2]

He didn’t clear anything because he learned of the boos after the party.

Even then, I think it is your duty to call the parents and have then come get their kids or at least give them the option.

 

[stollcpa]

Even then, I think it is your duty to call the parents and have then come get their kids or at least give them the option.

I understand. I like how he handled it. Had the kids been drinking somewhere else, the parents might have picked them up at the morgue after a wreck.

 

[IUCrazy2]

I understand. I like how he handled it. Had the kids been drinking somewhere else, the parents might have picked them up at the morgue after a wreck.

Yeah, his response was better than releasing him. Just saying I think there was an even better approach.

 

[BradStevens]

I don’t mean to be flip but I had to laugh at “called the cops on their own party.”

But, seriously, you have to question the judgment of parents who would supply alcohol to minors.

It’s not flip. I think it’s funny, too.

 

[BradStevens]

We had a divorcee house where mom was a trainwreck out on dates where we could sneak booze and crash in the basement.

 

[mcmurtry66]

She was a drunk baller mom. She met some guy at a bar who soaked her for almost a mil. “Ohhhh XXX. He looked just like George Clooney.” 🤣🤣. She had a bunch of products on qvc.

 

[BradStevens]

She was a drunk baller mom. She met some guy at a bar who soaked her for almost a mil. “Ohhhh XXX. He looked just like George Clooney.” 🤣🤣. She had a bunch of products on qvc.

I looked in vain for a GIF of Stiffler's mom. So, you ever . . .

 

[larsIU]

Sounds like Carmel. Rich people often make terrible parents either through their workaholic lives or focus on things which don’t really benefit their family.

And a complete lack of consequences. My daughter was going to these parties when she was a freshman/sophomore. We tried to shut her down but it’s almost impossible. So we’ve moved to treating her like an adult and letting her know she can call us and we’ll come get her out of any situation.

Scared shitless of her going to college next year.

 

[BradStevens]

Sounds like Carmel. Rich people often make terrible parents either through their workaholic lives or focus on things which don’t really benefit their family.

And a complete lack of consequences. My daughter was going to these parties when she was a freshman/sophomore. We tried to shut her down but it’s almost impossible. So we’ve moved to treating her like an adult and letting her know she can call us and we’ll come get her out of any situation.

Scared shitless of her going to college next year.

Yes and no. I live in a relatively wealthy area. The north side is predominantly $1 million+ homes on double lots. But here on the Southside, we have more modest homes mixed in with the $1 million+ homes. The family that hosted live in one of the more reasonable homes and the dad runs a small plumbing company (so has more money than anyone else). He's a dees, does, and dems kinda guy.

I've heard of plenty of out-of-control house parties at the mansion-like properties here, too.

 

[snarlcakes]

She was a drunk baller mom. She met some guy at a bar who soaked her for almost a mil. “Ohhhh XXX. He looked just like George Clooney.” 🤣🤣. She had a bunch of products on qvc.

Name? Possibly a number? Thanks Coach.

 

[BradStevens]

Name? Possibly a number? Thanks Coach.

I was going to ask the same, but did the math, and figured she must be in her 70s now.

Maybe a good set up for @Sope Creek or @hoot1 , though.

 

[dr.jb]

30 minutes? I didn’t last 30 SECONDS.

 

[BradStevens]

Anyone know if there is a video version of this? Asking for a friend . . .

 

[mcmurtry66]

I was going to ask the same, but did the math, and figured she must be in her 70s now.

Maybe a good set up for @Sope Creek or @hoot1 , though.

Oh yeah. Mid 70s now

 

[JamieDimonsBalls]

So Brad Jr. went to his first high school party last night. Kid he knew since elementary school threw it. He and a neighbor went together (walked to it).

30 minutes later they're back at my house. They left because it was "boring." About 100 kids, lots of girls, some dressed in quite revealing Halloween outfits (learned this from another neighbor whose daughter went and stayed until the end). Lots of alcohol there--beer, liquor. Parents knew, supplied some, and were there at the time. When I asked, so what was boring about it, Brad Jr. said "they were just standing around listening to music." (I'm guessing part of it was fear).

By 10 pm, several kids were hammered (per my other source) including a few girls who were "crossed"--for the uninitiated, that means both high and drunk. The parents then told the kids to leave (many kids also brought backpacks of booze into the party, by the way) and when they didn't go quickly, called the cops on their own party and it was broken up by the police.

So, for parents out there, how do you feel about this? I'm OK with my son experiencing it (and kinda wished he had stayed longer to see actual drunk people act stupidly and just get used to an environment like that) but am really turned off by parents hosting a party with booze for 14 and 15 year olds. I guess I'm a full-fledged parent now, because all I could think of was, what happens if one of those kids gets hit by a car while walking home hammered (this is an urban suburb, so everything is pretty close)? Or the girls get harassed, or worse, walking around at night, drunk, in a sexy outfit?

I'm going to answer this will bullets because it's spurred a ton of tangents.

• The Parents - WTF dude, these are frosh and maybe sophs in HS. To actually throw an alcohol induced and drug allowed party is insanity. One, these kids are still pretty young. Two, the liability is insane - we're talking many, many years in prison. Why didn't the cops arrest these fools? Anyone with that kind of judgment isn't likely a good parent in the first place.
• The Kids - JFC, if this is the future of our generation, we might as well pray for the asteroid. I cannot help but think of Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers

If they can't have fun and enjoy each other's company and attraction with a little booze and some Halloween costumes, global warming doesn't matter.

• Kids - Brad, I don't remember if you have any daughters too, but curious if you would have a different level of support for a daughter vs. son. My oldest is a girl and I already know I have different (double) standards and no amount of reasoning is going to change that.

 

[BradStevens]

I'm going to answer this will bullets because it's spurred a ton of tangents.

• The Parents - WTF dude, these are frosh and maybe sophs in HS. To actually throw an alcohol induced and drug allowed party is insanity. One, these kids are still pretty young. Two, the liability is insane - we're talking many, many years in prison. Why didn't the cops arrest these fools? Anyone with that kind of judgment isn't likely a good parent in the first place.
• The Kids - JFC, if this is the future of our generation, we might as well pray for the asteroid. I cannot help but think of Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers

If they can't have fun and enjoy each other's company and attraction with a little booze and some Halloween costumes, global warming doesn't matter.

• Kids - Brad, I don't remember if you have any daughters too, but curious if you would have a different level of support for a daughter vs. son. My oldest is a girl and I already know I have different (double) standards and no amount of reasoning is going to change that.

I'm not sure I follow your second point.

My oldest is a girl. 17. I actually tried to convince her and her friend to crash a different party going on because they have never been to one (they go to the all-girl's Catholic school here). They didn't crash that one, but did coincidentally go to another one in Oak Park last night, their first. Also had alcohol there, apparently. No clue if parents were home or condoned it.

I trust both kids, but want to make sure they understand my expectations. I told daughter when she got home (11ish, she texted me when they left the party and were heading to Taco Bell), I don't want you drinking, but if you do, I want you to call me and I'll pick you up wherever, whenever rather than ride or drive with someone who has been drinking. Now, had I found out my 14-year-old daughter went to a party and wore some revealing costume and booze was involved, I'd be knocking on those parents' door today and we'd have a conversation.

FWIW, I don't think the parents were condoning the drugs, I think some kids showed up high.