Baseball players use to pee on themselves (some might still, don't know), all the time
In a recent interview with ESPN's Gary Miller, Chicago Cubs outfielder Moises Alou revealed that during baseball season he urinates on his hands to...
slate.com
I liked the line, "You don't want to shake my hand during Spring training."
My line is, "Never stand before a urinal with your shoes untied." Ask me how I know and then let's shake on it."
I tell my line to total strangers in the men's room...well, the first part I do, just the quoted part. This includes the far side, the far end side men's room in AH, so if you heard this one, this aphorism if you will, it was me and you thank me later.
Another one, again mine. "Never finish a pee if from the adjacent urinal you hear clucking noises. My brother tells the story of being in San Francisco many years ago, in a men's room, a public one. It had the old fashioned, full length porcelain testicles...excuse me
receptacles, with no privacy barriers between. He was mid-urination, standing fairly far down the way. There must have been 15-20 all in a line and he was more away than he was near, a thing not needing to be done when you're the only one. Well, what do you know? Another guy walks in and way down, too, to stand
next to him. My brother said he never looked any way but straight and all he could hear was a sporadic clucking noise. To this day, I find myself listening for those clucking sounds of distorted mouth. Now, you will, too!
"Cluck, cluck........cluck, cluck, CLUCK!"