I am reading Brothers at War that Aloha had recently read. There is an interesting segment that can explain the fear of the meeting.
North Korea demanded from us for return of the Pueblo crew a signed statement that we were spying on them, that we were sorry and would stop. We were allowed to announce to the world as we were signing it that we only were signing to get the crew back and meant nothing by the signing.
Kim did not care what the world thought, he wanted it for internal consumption. He was worried about a revolt, he wanted his people to see him as a leader that even the Americans were afraid of.
Kim seemed to believe his people were indoctrinated to Marxism and his anti-American success would win them over to him even more.
We should meet, but desktop pictures may have more of a value than we know. The grandson may need to prove he is as tough as his grandfather for domestic reasons.