Can government policy end, or significantly decrease, childhood trauma?
- Thread starter BradStevens
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Anyone can be a good parent as long as they instill right from wrong and put in the time.
I know you're big into studies, but there are a ton of variables that go into being a parent then just a two parent home. If someone is a single mom but has the backing of her parents for help, that is going to help more then a parent with no help. Things like that.
A good support system will do wonders for a single parent, something that I imagine happens a lot with more single parents being the norm then a few decades ago.
I also was raised by a single mom. I'm the youngest of 3. She worked her ass off too,and was an excellent parent(non of us have been arrested,lol) but that doesn't mean it couldnt/wouldn't have been easier. I am also a single parent. I have a great support team that keeps my son at a family members home when not with me,still nowhere close to ideal.
Much love Lifelong! I too am a single parent - navigating the rough waters of raising a teenage daughter and 3 yr old on my own. We're the real heroes of society. The ones who sewed our own hearts back together and rose up to raise our children without a second income and a partner. where's our month of recognition and day at the white house to flash our titties???
Well i can't give you that but i'll give you a brotherhood salute right here and now. Carry on soldier. And if you need a toast, one that no good biden administration will ever extend, we'll be in auburn indiana later this summer.
Amen.
Also, start by educating young people that cannot afford to have kids and cannot provide a stable environment to keep their d@&$ in their pants or stop spreading their legs. The cycle is endless. People who have no business having kids, have them and then their kids who have no business having kids, have them. And, the cycle of internal poverty and crime continues.
On that note, maybe the government can help through a program of castration?
It all depends on the parent. I wanted to be better than my mother, My kids better than me, and so on.
I'm blessed to have been married for 38 years, good times, and bad times, trying to be an example for the people around me. We live in a time where marriages are mostly for 50/50sad to say so many divorces, illegitimate children, and missing fathers. We have a blended family. Its hard. I lost one of my children. Life is tough but it's what you make of it. I refuse to raise my children in Delaney Projects. It was my decision. I had to give up things to accomplish this.
A lot of these posts are assuming two things: childhood trauma is more prevalent in single parent households and households living in poverty. Both might be true. Here's a small sample sized study supporting that notion:
But 71% of children live in two-parent households and 84% are living above the poverty line. I think we, as a society--and maybe through govt policy--should help kids living in poverty or more likely to see abuse or trauma. But to defeat or greatly reduce the childhood trauma in the US, we might get more bang for our buck by changing attitudes/actions/parenting in the situations we find most children.
Here's the first paragraph of the article linked in the OP:
Twenty-five years ago a study by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) revealed that, in the United States, traumatic life experiences during childhood and adolescence are far more common than was expected. The participants in that study were mostly white, middle-class, well-educated, and in possession of good medical insurance, and yet, only one-third of them reported no serious adverse childhood experiences. In the remaining sample, the vast majority had experienced two or more horrendous childhood events. Subsequent scientific reports from 96 countries have shown that, globally, over half of all children – one billion girls and boys – are exposed to violence each year.
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A lot of these posts are assuming two things: childhood trauma is more prevalent in single parent households and households living in poverty. Both might be true. Here's a small sample sized study supporting that notion:
But 71% of children live in two-parent households and 84% are living above the poverty line. I think we, as a society--and maybe through govt policy--should help kids living in poverty or more likely to see abuse or trauma. But to defeat are greatly reduce the childhood trauma in the US, we might get more bang for our buck by changing attitudes/actions/parenting in the situations we find most children.
Here's the first paragraph of the article linked in the OP:
Twenty-five years ago a study by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) revealed that, in the United States, traumatic life experiences during childhood and adolescence are far more common than was expected. The participants in that study were mostly white, middle-class, well-educated, and in possession of good medical insurance, and yet, only one-third of them reported no serious adverse childhood experiences. In the remaining sample, the vast majority had experienced two or more horrendous childhood events. Subsequent scientific reports from 96 countries have shown that, globally, over half of all children – one billion girls and boys – are exposed to violence each year.
Amazing how the mindless default response is to blame single parent households. The most common childhood trauma is most certainly domestic abuse. Typically from the father .. Either against the child or against the child's mother. The 'nuclear family' isn't solving that. That goes back generations. My grandfather used to get drunk and beat my grandmother. They were married for 50 years. Before that my grandmother was beat by her father. Nobody GAFF....Greatest generation wasn't all that great. My mother is just now finally coming to terms with some of her childhood trauma and she's in her 60s.
I've known now two families... One was like 30 years ago, and one was last month.... Where the dad murdered the mom. Both had young children who were in the home where it occurred. One last month was a murder/suicide. I think an absent father would have clearly been a lot better
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The Humanist Manifesto I, II and III look like the progressive movement and the Democrat Party today. They are written to completely undermine the values of the founding of the country.
A soccer friend’s wife did the murder suicide. Took herself out and three little kids. Bipolar. Unfathomable. Not really in keeping with the thrust of your post and thread but these things certainly happen.
He’s an incredibly nice guy. Whole thing was an awful deal
Widower sues hospital that released bi-polar wife a DAY before she murdered their three daughters 'despite warnings from experts'
Leonard Adewunmi, of Missouri, has filed wrongful death complaints claiming that had his wife, Christine, been hospitalized on March 15, 2012, it is safe to say that she would not have been able to kill their young daughters and herself the next day.
www.dailymail.co.uk
My God, I did NOT need to read about that first thing in the morning. My own fault.He’s an incredibly nice guy. Whole thing was an awful deal
Widower sues hospital that released bi-polar wife a DAY before she murdered their three daughters 'despite warnings from experts'
Leonard Adewunmi, of Missouri, has filed wrongful death complaints claiming that had his wife, Christine, been hospitalized on March 15, 2012, it is safe to say that she would not have been able to kill their young daughters and herself the next day.www.dailymail.co.uk
This guy still active in your group? I don't know how I could live after that. Three beautiful daughters. Did he recover anything from the hospital?
The reporting in that article is incredible. They give a lot of sympathy to the mother and what she was going through and whatever demons she was battling. Think they'd have said the same thing if the dad was the murderer? Doubtful.
Sorry. Yeah awful. He’s a soccer league buddy not in my core group and a little older. But yeah obviously a mess for years then got it together. Today he has a super young girlfriend. Like I like. So he’s probably still a little off 🤣🤣. I never asked him if he recovered anything from the suits.
Horrible.
The one from decades ago was the sister of my parent's best friends. The husband/dad shot the mom in the home while the 3 kids hid in the house. They were 8 year old twins and a 4 year old. Dad went to prison and kids were raised by my parent's friends and the grandparents. Was terrible situation, they were great kids that I spent the summers with after that, due to situation
Honestly don't know. Lost touch with them. Parent's friend (their uncle) died maybe a decade later.... Last time I saw them was his funeral and they were late teens
Brutal brutal stuff. Just have to be grateful as things could always be so much worse. At my daughter’s last round of pancreatitis I rode the elevator with this up beat mom. I was tired and crabby. My ex and I do the same thing each time. She stays all day then I show up with dinner and sleep there and she goes home. So my back was all fckd up tired and this mom in the elevator asks why I’m here. I told her with probably too much drama added. After I went on and on I asked about her. She was from so Ill. Daughter same age. Living in a hotel to be close bc her daughter had a kidney transplant and now double lungs ate up with cancer.
Things could always be so much worse. I straightened my back immediately
One of my golf friends who was originally from Bloomington lost his parents to a murder suicide when he was very young. When he got older he quit high school and joined the Marines. Later got his GED. Now lives in Evansville and Naples, FL with his second wife. He owns a number of chain cleaning services across the country and his wife owns a successful mortgage company.
Sometimes it takes a second time to get it right. We learn from our mistakes, it is not always the young black boy who has a child out of wedlock. People divorce, there is a lot of abuse and violence going on in the family both husband and wife. Children see and hear it, a lot of times they grow up and do the same thing.
In my profession I can tell you definitively that broken homes and poverty are underlying childhood trauma. Or is it that people who traumatize their children tend to also break up the home and end up in poverty? Chicken vs egg but there are a lot of f—-d up familiesA lot of these posts are assuming two things: childhood trauma is more prevalent in single parent households and households living in poverty. Both might be true. Here's a small sample sized study supporting that notion:
But 71% of children live in two-parent households and 84% are living above the poverty line. I think we, as a society--and maybe through govt policy--should help kids living in poverty or more likely to see abuse or trauma. But to defeat are greatly reduce the childhood trauma in the US, we might get more bang for our buck by changing attitudes/actions/parenting in the situations we find most children.
Here's the first paragraph of the article linked in the OP:
Twenty-five years ago a study by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) revealed that, in the United States, traumatic life experiences during childhood and adolescence are far more common than was expected. The participants in that study were mostly white, middle-class, well-educated, and in possession of good medical insurance, and yet, only one-third of them reported no serious adverse childhood experiences. In the remaining sample, the vast majority had experienced two or more horrendous childhood events. Subsequent scientific reports from 96 countries have shown that, globally, over half of all children – one billion girls and boys – are exposed to violence each year.
Answering Willdog’s post in reply to my post about my friend and himself. My friend could have given up after his dad murdered his mom and killed himself. He made the choice not to give up. He made the choice to go to the marines. He made the choice to come home back to Bloomington and go to work for a company and work his ass off. When his boss decided to retire he sold the franchise to my friend on contract. He paid off his boss and now owns multiple franchises around the country. His wife was married to a drug dealer who beat her. He went to prison. She has two boys, one of which is autistic. She married my friend and started her own mortgage company. She’s more successful than he is.
They both had choices. They chose not to feel sorry for themselves.
I was with you all the way up to your last sentence. If that sentence means that adults who went through childhood trauma do worse because they "choose" to feel sorry for themselves, I would disagree with that.
I'm not even sure the people you are talking about had any choice to feel the way you think they might have felt.
I just don't think the personal responsibility angle is relevant to this discussion, or if relevant, only tangentially so.
I can’t imagine the pain and emotions you would go through losing both parents to a tragedy like murder and suicide. I am not making light of it at all. At some point though, you have to make choices with your life.
In my friend’s case he chooses to be positive. He hits a golf ball in the trees, he expects to fund it with a perfect lie and unobstructed line of site to the green. Amazing how often he gets exactly what he expects. We call him lucky boy.
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