And don't give that "no tombstone" crap.
What's the phrase you want folks to 'member?
I reserve the right to plagiarize.
What's the phrase you want folks to 'member?
I reserve the right to plagiarize.
What Do You Want On Your Tombstone ?
- Thread starter MyTeamIsOnTheFloor
- Start date
I want a statue of an elephant fvcking a clown, but with an obelisk instead of a d!ick to keep it timeless.
And below it would have these words:
Followin’ the trail on the old treasure map,
I came to the spot that said “Dig right here.”
And four feet down my spade struck wood
Just where the map said a chest would appear.
But carved in the side were written these words:
“A curse upon he who disturbs this gold.”
Signed, Morgan the Pirate, Scourge of the Seas.
I read these words and my blood ran cold.
So here I sit upon untold wealth
Tryin’ to figure which is worse:
How much do I need this gold?
And how much do I need this curse?
And below it would have these words:
Followin’ the trail on the old treasure map,
I came to the spot that said “Dig right here.”
And four feet down my spade struck wood
Just where the map said a chest would appear.
But carved in the side were written these words:
“A curse upon he who disturbs this gold.”
Signed, Morgan the Pirate, Scourge of the Seas.
I read these words and my blood ran cold.
So here I sit upon untold wealth
Tryin’ to figure which is worse:
How much do I need this gold?
And how much do I need this curse?
Depends what you mean by "processed." Pepperoni is a form of charcuterie, which, by definition, is processed in some way. But, so is ham, smoked turkey, salami, soppressata, mortadella, prosciutto, capicola, bacon, duck confit, etc. etc.
However, the reason you can usually find pepperoni pizza on the cheap is because most pepperoni is, in fact, shit food.
But good pepperoni does exist.
I don't care how its made... its delicious
SMP Pizza at Napolese and or Malibu Grill. Fantastic
OK, so here's my question. What is the real definition of "processed"? Because I've watched the good stuff be made, and that's not what I'd consider to be "processed". But maybe I've never had the correct definition...
Hopefully by the time I die they've figured out to have an audio and or video loop
There is no real definition. That's part of the problem. Most people who talk bad about processed foods (including me) are referring to foods which undergo various processes for the purpose of making food cheaper that are detrimental to either quality or nutritional value. For example, I generally hate the idea of buying bread, because most bread full of chemicals (ironically called "dough improvers") which prevent it from growing mold or going stale, etc. On the other hand, canning vegetables is a form of processing, and that's an important method of preservation.
Other crazier people (e.g., my sister) eschew all sorts of other preservation methods, like curing meat or pasteurizing milk. Not all the time, of course, but enough to be obnoxious about it.
Some people are really nuts, and subscribe to the "raw foods diet." This means they won't eat anything preserved or processed at all, with exceptions usually made for simple methods like drying, cooking and freezing, although the most radical raw foods enthusiasts won't even cook food.
Basically, "processed food" means "any food that has been processed to the point that a particular person takes offense to eating it."
My dad's urn (actually a wooden box) is carved with "Return To Sender."
I'm not sure I can top that.
We basically have the same definition. People have to be batshit crazy to think that preserving food in a natural way is akin to the shit that is full of artificial shit...
Agreed. Although, sometimes the difference is a matter of gut feeling, rather than anything scientific. For example, many people balk at meat preserved with pink salt, but have no problem with meats cured with traditional methods that naturally impart nitrates in the food.
For me, the best solution is just to eat a balanced diet. I love me some sausage, but I don't eat it every day. I do try to eat at least some fresh, uncooked, plant material every day, though, at least during the months when it is in season.
Regarding nitrates, they'll have to pry my corned beef sammich out of my cold, dead hand.
We Have A WINNER!
(If yer dad was so smart, how did you get to be ... you?)
I would want to have "1976 was a very good year" on my tombstone. The reason I say that is because it is the year the Hoosiers went unbeaten and won it all in basketball, the year I graduated from IU, the year I landed my first job after graduation, the year I got married to the love of my life and the year I received "The Best Sports Reporting" award from the Hoosier State Press Association.
1987
IU won it all in basketball.
IU beat Ahia State in football.
Kentucky Wesleyan won it all in D-II basketball.
Graduated from IU Law.
Passed the bar.
Got married.
Been downhill ever since.
I think I might go with some intriguing nonsense like:
"My treasure is buried with the mouse meets the gazelle."
"My treasure is buried with the mouse meets the gazelle."
I was a Giants fan at that time. Ironically, I covered the 1976 World Series between the Reds and Yankees. among people I interviewed were Tony Perez, Elston Howard (Yankees), Sparky Anderson, etc.
Last edited:
VanPastorMan
Hall of Famer
My Dad said he wanted, "Dangitt, I told you I was sick"! on his. It's an old joke but still holds up. I would want, He was loved much, loved much, and is with His Savior.
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