"Dear ISIS:
Please send me 2 refugees.
I love ERR'BODY!
Love, Zizkov."
"Dear Mrs. Zizkov:
We regret to inform you that your husband was beheaded by the JV team yesterday. However, luckily, and thanks to our swift actions, the beheading was contained to just a beheading. He was not drowned in a cage, thrown off a building, shot in a trench or crucified. For your convenience, we enclose a CD of the YouTube video which we claim caused this, and a CD of the YouTube of the beheading. If you need anything else, please call ... after the election."
Love, HillBern"