Serious post, re: suicide and mental health

[kkott]

Hey everyone. We’re doing ok. This past week was spring break. We decided not to cancel our college visits since they were for both my daughters. My oldest is a junior and my middle a sophomore. It’s challenging to know what to do about college. My oldest is a very bright, high achieving student whose dream school is Brown, but also considering Emory, Washu and Vandy. Part of me doesn’t want to tell this kid to give up on any of her dreams, but at what point do you have to level with your kid and say I can’t let you leave this city much less the house? My wife and I aren’t on the same page either which is problematic. I’ve hinted to both we should consider IU honors as it’s close to Carmel. Perhaps we should even think about Butler. The idea would be to give her a chance to live away from home even through it’s just 15 minutes away and learn to be independent. If she can prove to herself and us she can take care of herself and not be a danger then maybe she transfers. If she lives at home and goes to IUPUI I don’t know what she’s proven. So to me Butler is the safe choice.

My wife thinks it’s too early to make any decisions. Perhaps she’s right but I don’t know what changes this kid can make and where we’ll be the figuring out the meds. I don’t want to tell her to give up her dreams but again I want her to be safe and be realistic.

Man, maybe talk to your therapist. I have absolutely 0 qualifications other than having been there before with a troubled girl, but I don't think sending a child away to college that's having struggles, often helps. I'd definitely be talking to the professionals about that. Nothing wrong with a gap year to try and take time to get healthy and many kids are doing that it seems to me.

 

[evvcabinetman]

Hey everyone. We’re doing ok. This past week was spring break. We decided not to cancel our college visits since they were for both my daughters. My oldest is a junior and my middle a sophomore. It’s challenging to know what to do about college. My oldest is a very bright, high achieving student whose dream school is Brown, but also considering Emory, Washu and Vandy. Part of me doesn’t want to tell this kid to give up on any of her dreams, but at what point do you have to level with your kid and say I can’t let you leave this city much less the house? My wife and I aren’t on the same page either which is problematic. I’ve hinted to both we should consider IU honors as it’s close to Carmel. Perhaps we should even think about Butler. The idea would be to give her a chance to live away from home even through it’s just 15 minutes away and learn to be independent. If she can prove to herself and us she can take care of herself and not be a danger then maybe she transfers. If she lives at home and goes to IUPUI I don’t know what she’s proven. So to me Butler is the safe choice.

My wife thinks it’s too early to make any decisions. Perhaps she’s right but I don’t know what changes this kid can make and where we’ll be the figuring out the meds. I don’t want to tell her to give up her dreams but again I want her to be safe and be realistic.

I would probably lean toward your school of thought - hopefully two years at a local school where she can live on campus but still be close to home makes sense to me. Maybe once she gets some new friends in a new environment she can get a fresh start. Thanks for the update - I've been wondering how things are going for you.

 

[Sope Creek]

Today, my oldest daughter tried to take her life. I went through this once before when she was in 8th grade. She’s now a junior in high school and we’re still trying to help her win this battle. She’s learned every goddam coping skill but we just can’t seem to get the right meds to help her out. Last night she took 4 handfuls of extra strength Tylenol. She reported to me earlier that day she had been feeling much better the last month which was much different than feeling depressed. The problem with feeling good is that she had become more impulsive. She walked into our bedroom at 2:30am last night crying that she had just broken up with her boyfriend. After talking to her for a good 15 minutes we told net to come sleep
With us. She said she was going to get her pillow. It seemed like she was taking too long to get a pillow so my wife checked on her. She was laying on her bed with her phone and a bottle of Tylenol. We always lock up the meds and sharp objects. Somehow we missed this bottle. We rushed her to the hospital last night and shes
Now taking the antedote as prescribed by the poison center. It will be at least 20 hours of this infusion and maybe longer. Meanwhile my other two girls are distraught. They’re scared for their older sister, and thought we were past this….I was in shock this morning and finally just had a good cry In an empty hallway. I don’t know where to send her after she’s medically stable. She’s already been inpatient In 8th grade and recently competed an IOP program. She has the coping skills now she just needs the will to live again to put those skills to work. I will be either looking for a different residential program or multiple private therapy options. The mental health care system is not great here. I feel like there’s very few options…::I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could take away her pain. I wish i wish I wish. I miss coming to the AOTF for light hearted play and banter. I wish life wasn’t so tough for my kid. At this point I’m just rambling…there’s not many people you share with about your daughters repeated suicide attempts.

Hug your kids and tell them you love them…sometimes love isn’t enough to help them cross the finish line…but do it anyways.

Hi Eppy. I'm reading a book right now called Beneath a Scarlett Sky by Mark Sullivan.

Amazon product ASIN B01L1CEZ6K.

Thought I'd put it in your thread about needing a new book, but I couldn't find it easily. So I'll put it here.

The preface is interesting . . . talks about how the author was suicidal some years back, looking for a project to work on. Then he heard about an Italian guy who spent his late teens taking Italian Jews to Switzerland. He looked up the guy and they became friends during the course of his research for this book.

Anyway . . . best of luck to your daughter - and to you and your family! I wouldn't go back to high school or college for any amount of money.

 

[Eppy99]

Hi Eppy. I'm reading a book right now called Beneath a Scarlett Sky by Mark Sullivan.

View embedded media

.

Thought I'd put it in your thread about needing a new book, but I couldn't find it easily. So I'll put it here.

The preface is interesting . . . talks about how the author was suicidal some years back, looking for a project to work on. Then he heard about an Italian guy who spent his late teens taking Italian Jews to Switzerland. He looked up the guy and they became friends during the course of his research for this book.

Anyway . . . best of luck to your daughter - and to you and your family! I wouldn't go back to high school or college for any amount of money.

Thank you, looks interesting.

 

[kkott]

Hi Eppy. I'm reading a book right now called Beneath a Scarlett Sky by Mark Sullivan.

View embedded media

.

Thought I'd put it in your thread about needing a new book, but I couldn't find it easily. So I'll put it here.

The preface is interesting . . . talks about how the author was suicidal some years back, looking for a project to work on. Then he heard about an Italian guy who spent his late teens taking Italian Jews to Switzerland. He looked up the guy and they became friends during the course of his research for this book.

Anyway . . . best of luck to your daughter - and to you and your family! I wouldn't go back to high school or college for any amount of money.

I really liked that book. Not sure I buy that it is 100% factual but a great story and I learned alot about Italy and Europe during WW2.

 

[falofe]

Had a friend who I coached many seasons of youth bball with who killed himself a week ago Thursday. The guy was just always such a great guy and appeared to be happy and have it all together, and I always enjoyed being around him; kept one helluva book too! He was an excellent tennis player, MVP and captain of his college team, and a top ranked senior in the area and at his club, where his memorial was held. Great kids, gorgeous wife, nice house, good job... and yet he still had demons most of us had no idea he was struggling with. We weren't close friends and had drifted as our kids aged and I myself went through a divorce (we were "couples" friends). But, if you'd given me 100 names of acquaintances, he'd have been at the bottom of the list of folks I'd have guessed would kill themselves. My Dad killed himself when I was 10, so I have a good idea of what his boys are going to go through, although they are older... (I think it would be tougher at that age). No person in their right mind kills themselves, maybe except for a terminal illness, which I don't think he had. Beyond that, it just hurts your loved ones so much, and they'll probably never understand or get over this, although you can learn to deal with it. Sad.

If you are struggling with mental illness, find someone to talk to. If you suspect a loved one is, talk to them and try and check on them below the superficial talk. I'm amazed how many people have told me during their lives they've thought about killing themselves. Obviously I think covid and social media have made it even worse. That's my PSA... this one's for you Chuck!

PS. I almost forgot, but after one of our kid's games they came over for pizza after, and I got them watching a particular IU v UK game ultimate rummy hack mod apk download. You'll be glad to know they all jumped and cheered @ the Wat Shot! I told you he was a good guy!

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, and for the pain that his family and loved ones must be going through. Suicide is a tragic and complex issue, and it can be difficult to understand why someone would choose to take their own life. It's important to recognize that mental illness can affect anyone, regardless of their external circumstances or apparent level of success and happiness.

Your message about the importance of seeking help and reaching out to loved ones is crucial. Mental health is a critical aspect of overall well-being, and it's important for people to feel comfortable seeking support when they are struggling. Encouraging open communication and checking in on those around us can help to break down the stigma around mental illness and reduce the likelihood of tragedies like this one.

It's also important to recognize that grief and healing are ongoing processes, and there is no one "right" way to deal with the loss of a loved one. It's okay to seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals, and to take the time and space you need to process your emotions.

Thank you for sharing your message and honoring your friend's memory.

 

[Eppy99]

So the latest update is her psychiatrist since 8th grade is going to try lithium now. We’ve partially been conservative because she’s had so many bad side affects and so worried it will change her from the girl we know and love and all the creative energy she brings. But if we can’t keep her alive what’s the point? So it seems lithium is the old standard for treating bipolar. Maybe this means he’s pretty sure she has it even if she hasn’t officially had a manic or hypomanic episode. We’re willing to keep throwing darts at the board so she can be functional and chase her dreams.

Anyone have thoughts or experiences with this drug?

 

[UncleMark]

So the latest update is her psychiatrist since 8th grade is going to try lithium now. We’ve partially been conservative because she’s had so many bad side affects and so worried it will change her from the girl we know and love and all the creative energy she brings. But if we can’t keep her alive what’s the point? So it seems lithium is the old standard for treating bipolar. Maybe this means he’s pretty sure she has it even if she hasn’t officially had a manic or hypomanic episode. We’re willing to keep throwing darts at the board so she can be functional and chase her dreams.

Anyone have thoughts or experiences with this drug?

I'm surprised that's not been tried before. It's usually one of the first bullets fired. In a lot of cases the results border on miraculous. YMMV. Best wishes.