Serious post, re: suicide and mental health

[kkott]

Had a friend who I coached many seasons of youth bball with who killed himself a week ago Thursday. The guy was just always such a great guy and appeared to be happy and have it all together, and I always enjoyed being around him; kept one helluva book too! He was an excellent tennis player, MVP and captain of his college team, and a top ranked senior in the area and at his club, where his memorial was held. Great kids, gorgeous wife, nice house, good job... and yet he still had demons most of us had no idea he was struggling with. We weren't close friends and had drifted as our kids aged and I myself went through a divorce (we were "couples" friends). But, if you'd given me 100 names of acquaintances, he'd have been at the bottom of the list of folks I'd have guessed would kill themselves. My Dad killed himself when I was 10, so I have a good idea of what his boys are going to go through, although they are older... (I think it would be tougher at that age). No person in their right mind kills themselves, maybe except for a terminal illness, which I don't think he had. Beyond that, it just hurts your loved ones so much, and they'll probably never understand or get over this, although you can learn to deal with it. Sad.

If you are struggling with mental illness, find someone to talk to. If you suspect a loved one is, talk to them and try and check on them below the superficial talk. I'm amazed how many people have told me during their lives they've thought about killing themselves. Obviously I think covid and social media have made it even worse. That's my PSA... this one's for you Chuck!

PS. I almost forgot, but after one of our kid's games they came over for pizza after, and I got them watching a particular IU v UK game. You'll be glad to know they all jumped and cheered @ the Wat Shot! I told you he was a good guy!

 

[anon_6hv78pr714xta]

Thanks for sharing this, kkott. I'm sorry you're going through this (now and in the past with your own father) and hope your friend's kids get the help they are going to need.

For anyone reading this who might be struggling or who might know someone who is, here is a useful resource:

Home

988lifeline.org

Just dial 9-8-8. And try to remember "this too shall pass."

 

[VanPastorMan]

Had a friend who I coached many seasons of youth bball with who killed himself a week ago Thursday. The guy was just always such a great guy and appeared to be happy and have it all together, and I always enjoyed being around him; kept one helluva book too! He was an excellent tennis player, MVP and captain of his college team, and a top ranked senior in the area and at his club, where his memorial was held. Great kids, gorgeous wife, nice house, good job... and yet he still had demons most of us had no idea he was struggling with. We weren't close friends and had drifted as our kids aged and I myself went through a divorce (we were "couples" friends). But, if you'd given me 100 names of acquaintances, he'd have been at the bottom of the list of folks I'd have guessed would kill themselves. My Dad killed himself when I was 10, so I have a good idea of what his boys are going to go through, although they are older... (I think it would be tougher at that age). No person in their right mind kills themselves, maybe except for a terminal illness, which I don't think he had. Beyond that, it just hurts your loved ones so much, and they'll probably never understand or get over this, although you can learn to deal with it. Sad.

If you are struggling with mental illness, find someone to talk to. If you suspect a loved one is, talk to them and try and check on them below the superficial talk. I'm amazed how many people have told me during their lives they've thought about killing themselves. Obviously I think covid and social media have made it even worse. That's my PSA... this one's for you Chuck!

PS. I almost forgot, but after one of our kid's games they came over for pizza after, and I got them watching a particular IU v UK game. You'll be glad to know they all jumped and cheered @ the Wat Shot! I told you he was a good guy!

Mental illness creates depression or it could be the other way around. People have real reasons why they are depressed. One mistake we make is not agreeing with them that they are really hurting. It is because we are not in their position so it is harder for us to relate. What we have to do is agree with them on the reasons why everything sucks. But then we have to, and I mean have to explain to them that it is this way now but it most likely won't always be with way in the future. Depression is a lack of hope and we we have to do is give them even a bit of hope. Suicide is temporary insanity. Depression has gone further to the point where the person doesn't see a way out. Your father if he saw you and your family today might have refrained from doing what he did. But you can forgive him if he was insane right? I hope you have worked through that because from our side of it suicide is a very cruel thing to do to remaining loved ones. Insane people can't see this so we can pity them and forgive if we choose to.

 

[iubud]

Sorry for the loss of your friend and your dad years ago.

I left corporate life to run a sheltered workshop with workers with various problems from blindness to mental disabilities. Substance abuse is a major problem. I had to suspend a worker for drinking on the job. During his suspension, when he was supposed to be getting counselling, he died from a combination of alcohol and drugs. The drugs were given/sold to him by one of my workers. Heartbreaking!

I am working hard to get a worker off alcohol now. Her husband has beaten her for 20+ years and she can't leave him. She was once an attractive girl but she has lived a hard life. She confided that she was sexually abused by her dad and her mom didn't want her.She called herself a piece of shit and cried and hugged me hard when I told her she wasn't a piece of shit. She hit rock bottom again this week and I believe she is ready to give sobriety another chance. I'm ready to be disappointed, but I have to give her all the support I can. Her husband was in jail for a year (for a beating that put her in the hospital). He gets out of his treatment program in a month. She has been treated badly and I am trying to show her how much better her life can be without alcohol and living with a POS that beats her and tells her no other man would want her.

She cries when things are going well for her. She is scared to be happy because she knows something bad will happen. I'm hoping the counselling she is getting and someone believing in her will change her life. I know it is likely going to end badly, but there is a chance she can live a better life. There are too many like her!

 

[Victorbmyboy]

Had a friend who I coached many seasons of youth bball with who killed himself a week ago Thursday. The guy was just always such a great guy and appeared to be happy and have it all together, and I always enjoyed being around him; kept one helluva book too! He was an excellent tennis player, MVP and captain of his college team, and a top ranked senior in the area and at his club, where his memorial was held. Great kids, gorgeous wife, nice house, good job... and yet he still had demons most of us had no idea he was struggling with. We weren't close friends and had drifted as our kids aged and I myself went through a divorce (we were "couples" friends). But, if you'd given me 100 names of acquaintances, he'd have been at the bottom of the list of folks I'd have guessed would kill themselves. My Dad killed himself when I was 10, so I have a good idea of what his boys are going to go through, although they are older... (I think it would be tougher at that age). No person in their right mind kills themselves, maybe except for a terminal illness, which I don't think he had. Beyond that, it just hurts your loved ones so much, and they'll probably never understand or get over this, although you can learn to deal with it. Sad.

If you are struggling with mental illness, find someone to talk to. If you suspect a loved one is, talk to them and try and check on them below the superficial talk. I'm amazed how many people have told me during their lives they've thought about killing themselves. Obviously I think covid and social media have made it even worse. That's my PSA... this one's for you Chuck!

PS. I almost forgot, but after one of our kid's games they came over for pizza after, and I got them watching a particular IU v UK game. You'll be glad to know they all jumped and cheered @ the Wat Shot! I told you he was a good guy!

Both of my moms parents lost their fathers to suicide. My grandfather was 15 and found him. It was during the depression or shortly after. He suffered mental illness too. He struggled to feed his large family and just gave up. My grandmother lost hers because he was terminally ill. Those things not only affect the next generation but generations after. In today’s world there is more help and awareness than ever before but we still struggle to get people help. Sorry for your loss.

 

[Baller23Boogie]

About six years ago, out of the blue, I had four seizures in a span of two days (nothing super big), but obviously it was worrisome so my better half took me to the ER and they did all sorts of tests, blah, blah, blah.

I had to be put on seizure meds (obviously). Doc said that we might have to change a time of two because some of them have different side effects for different people.

Man, he wasn't kidding. That first one made me super aggressive and just mad all the time. I was off that one within a couple weeks. The second one was even worse.

The first couple days were okay, but then I started having thoughts of why was I here and would anyone miss me. I would literally walk around my work and think about ways to end myself. I got close one time where my wife found me crying in our bedroom bathroom with a boxcutter ready to slit my wrists, not understanding why I was feeling this way, just wanting it to stop. I fear that if she wouldn't have found me when she did, I may have followed through.

We went directly to the hospital then, she told her what was happening and they immediately admitted me. I was embarrassed because I thought I should have been able to handle the meds but didn't realize what was truly going on.

I'm on med three now and have been ever since with no issues.

I guess I'm telling this because for me, it was medical induced, which is really scary. You never know what people are dealing with.

 

[Victorbmyboy]

That first one made me super aggressive and just mad all the time. I was off that one within a couple weeks. The second one was even worse

Was it Keppra? Keppra works great but Keppra rage is real. Especially in men. Once on certain drugs it’s so hard to get corrected. Very scary. Glad you finally found the correct combination.

 

[anon_6hv78pr714xta]

About six years ago, out of the blue, I had four seizures in a span of two days (nothing super big), but obviously it was worrisome so my better half took me to the ER and they did all sorts of tests, blah, blah, blah.

I had to be put on seizure meds (obviously). Doc said that we might have to change a time of two because some of them have different side effects for different people.

Man, he wasn't kidding. That first one made me super aggressive and just mad all the time. I was off that one within a couple weeks. The second one was even worse.

The first couple days were okay, but then I started having thoughts of why was I here and would anyone miss me. I would literally walk around my work and think about ways to end myself. I got close one time where my wife found me crying in our bedroom bathroom with a boxcutter ready to slit my wrists, not understanding why I was feeling this way, just wanting it to stop. I fear that if she wouldn't have found me when she did, I may have followed through.

We went directly to the hospital then, she told her what was happening and they immediately admitted me. I was embarrassed because I thought I should have been able to handle the meds but didn't realize what was truly going on.

I'm on med three now and have been ever since with no issues.

I guess I'm telling this because for me, it was medical induced, which is really scary. You never know what people are dealing with.

Super powerful stuff. I’m so glad you made it through that ordeal. Thank you for sharing it.

 

[Baller23Boogie]

Was it Keppra? Keppra works great but Keppra rage is real. Especially in men.

It may have been.

This was back in 2018, so I really couldn't say with certainty, so I guess it was five years ago.

 

[Victorbmyboy]

It may have been.

This was back in 2018, so I really couldn't say with certainty, so I guess it was five years ago.

It’s usually the first one they prescribe. My wife is on it. She controls it (rage)pretty well. Good luck.

 

[kkott]

Both of my moms parents lost their fathers to suicide. My grandfather was 15 and found him. It was during the depression or shortly after. He suffered mental illness too. He struggled to feed his large family and just gave up. My grandmother lost hers because he was terminally ill. Those things not only affect the next generation but generations after. In today’s world there is more help and awareness than ever before but we still struggle to get people help. Sorry for your loss.

I didn't mean this to be about my loss, as I feel like I've dealt with that long ago. But, I had years of wondering if I could have done anything to help him, even at 10. I would guess his wife and boys will be in for a very long time of wondering that and feeling guilty and I hate that for them. I openly share about my Dad's death to try and normalize it and hope that it might make someone else not feel as alone or lost, and more able to talk about it. I guess I feel like that's about the only good I can make come out of that.

 

[anon_6hv78pr714xta]

I didn't mean this to be about my loss, as I feel like I've dealt with that long ago. But, I had years of wondering if I could have done anything to help him, even at 10. I would guess his wife and boys will be in for a very long time of wondering that and feeling guilty and I hate that for them. I openly share about my Dad's death to try and normalize it and hope that it might make someone else not feel as alone or lost, and more able to talk about it. I guess I feel like that's about the only good I can make come out of that.

You do all that by sharing it, and by doing so, no doubt, there is a cost.

I wish more people had the courage to share such things as found in this thread--it makes the world a better place.

 

[UncleMark]

The first couple days were okay, but then I started having thoughts of why was I here and would anyone miss me.

I got to this point (but thankfully no further) about 15 years ago after quitting smoking cigarettes. Went through two years of not caring whether I woke up in the morning or not. Then, on a drive to Chicago I picked up a cigar on a lark, and the relief was almost instantaneous. I became a cigar smoker. A few years later I quit again, and went through the same shit. Went to the doctor and was totally up front about my history and symptoms and had them run every test they could think of to rule out anything organic. They came back clean, and the doctor proposed psychotropic drug therapy.

I took up cigars again. So yeah, it's all about the chemistry.

 

[The Vid]

Had a friend who I coached many seasons of youth bball with who killed himself a week ago Thursday. The guy was just always such a great guy and appeared to be happy and have it all together, and I always enjoyed being around him; kept one helluva book too! He was an excellent tennis player, MVP and captain of his college team, and a top ranked senior in the area and at his club, where his memorial was held. Great kids, gorgeous wife, nice house, good job... and yet he still had demons most of us had no idea he was struggling with. We weren't close friends and had drifted as our kids aged and I myself went through a divorce (we were "couples" friends). But, if you'd given me 100 names of acquaintances, he'd have been at the bottom of the list of folks I'd have guessed would kill themselves. My Dad killed himself when I was 10, so I have a good idea of what his boys are going to go through, although they are older... (I think it would be tougher at that age). No person in their right mind kills themselves, maybe except for a terminal illness, which I don't think he had. Beyond that, it just hurts your loved ones so much, and they'll probably never understand or get over this, although you can learn to deal with it. Sad.

If you are struggling with mental illness, find someone to talk to. If you suspect a loved one is, talk to them and try and check on them below the superficial talk. I'm amazed how many people have told me during their lives they've thought about killing themselves. Obviously I think covid and social media have made it even worse. That's my PSA... this one's for you Chuck!

PS. I almost forgot, but after one of our kid's games they came over for pizza after, and I got them watching a particular IU v UK game. You'll be glad to know they all jumped and cheered @ the Wat Shot! I told you he was a good guy!

Sorry to hear and sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing.

 

[MyTeamIsOnTheFloor]

Glad you all fought your way back.

I remind myself often that people suck, and it makes me feel better about myself.

I recommend it.

 

[anon_6hv78pr714xta]

Glad you all fought your way back.

I remind myself often that people suck, and it makes me feel better about myself.

I recommend it.

I recommend instead reminding yourself that everyone is going through a lot, just like you are. That all those people who you think suck, are doing their best with what they have and trying to get by. And when you see they aren't doing so well, that they are failing where you would not, you have an opportunity to be grateful that you do not have their vice or their foibles in that area. In other words: Be curious, not judgmental.

I think that might make you feel better about yourself and the world.

 

[kkott]

I recommend instead reminding yourself that everyone is going through a lot, just like you are. That all those people who you think suck, are doing their best with what they have and trying to get by. And when you see they aren't doing so well, that they are failing where you would not, you have an opportunity to be grateful that you do not have their vice or their foibles in that area. In other words: Be curious, not judgmental.

I think that might make you feel better about yourself and the world.

Yeah, I never have such a negative view of people in general although the last several years have made me question that. But, I'm constantly reminded that people on a personal level are mostly good. Maybe I've just been lucky or good at surrounding myself with good people!

 

[mcmurtry66]

About six years ago, out of the blue, I had four seizures in a span of two days (nothing super big), but obviously it was worrisome so my better half took me to the ER and they did all sorts of tests, blah, blah, blah.

I had to be put on seizure meds (obviously). Doc said that we might have to change a time of two because some of them have different side effects for different people.

Man, he wasn't kidding. That first one made me super aggressive and just mad all the time. I was off that one within a couple weeks. The second one was even worse.

The first couple days were okay, but then I started having thoughts of why was I here and would anyone miss me. I would literally walk around my work and think about ways to end myself. I got close one time where my wife found me crying in our bedroom bathroom with a boxcutter ready to slit my wrists, not understanding why I was feeling this way, just wanting it to stop. I fear that if she wouldn't have found me when she did, I may have followed through.

We went directly to the hospital then, she told her what was happening and they immediately admitted me. I was embarrassed because I thought I should have been able to handle the meds but didn't realize what was truly going on.

I'm on med three now and have been ever since with no issues.

I guess I'm telling this because for me, it was medical induced, which is really scary. You never know what people are dealing with.

wow that's a lot. i'm glad you are a on the path to finding out the right meds. my ex had a tumor diagnosed about 20 years ago. wasn't cancerous just super slow growing. every few years she'd go for a scan to check the progress. scans aren't good either. anyway she'd have seizures. not like you're doing the worm with your tongue out just numbness. she's been on topamax thereafter forever.

the suicide stuff is often a mystery. had an acquaintance who killed himself a few years back. super nice guy. was always sick. complaining of stomach ailments all the time. never got diagnosed or fixed. big soccer nut too. anyway he killed himself. apparently we have a second "brain" for lack of a better term in our guts. and our guts can be the cause of anxiety, stress, depression.

we're complicated. and i'll add a lot of people are mean and shitty and it doesn't help. my business, hell my industry, is about as unimportant as it gets and you wouldn't believe the nasty, nasty messages i get over stupid shit

 

[Baller23Boogie]

wow that's a lot. i'm glad you are a on the path to finding out the right meds. my ex had a tumor diagnosed about 20 years ago. wasn't cancerous just super slow growing. every few years she'd go for a scan to check the progress. scans aren't good either. anyway she'd have seizures. not like you're doing the worm with your tongue out just numbness. she's been on topamax thereafter forever.

the suicide stuff is often a mystery. had an acquaintance who killed himself a few years back. super nice guy. was always sick. complaining of stomach ailments all the time. never got diagnosed or fixed. big soccer nut too. anyway he killed himself. apparently we have a second "brain" for lack of a better term in our guts. and our guts can be the cause of anxiety, stress, depression.

we're complicated. and i'll add a lot of people are mean and shitty and it doesn't help. my business, hell my industry, is about as unimportant as it gets and you wouldn't believe the nasty, nasty messages i get over stupid shit

That's the medicine that I'm on....

About two years ago, one of my wife's best friends went on vacation down in Florida with her sister and each of their daughters. The last morning, her sister got up and noticed that my wife's friend wasn't in the room. She looked everywhere but couldn't find her. She then looked in the bathroom and there was blood in the sink. No one actually knows what happened, but from what her sister was told, it looks like she cut her wrists and then went to the top floor of the place they were staying and jumped. Police had already found her and taken her away, so she was id by her tattoos.

She was happy before she left, according to my wife. Her daughter now doesn't have a mom (her dad was never in the picture), so we try and hang out with her from time to time, but she's now a 6th grader so she's starting to get into her social circles. Her kid was her life, so like you said, it's hard to determine what people are thinking when they go through with it.

Honestly, my kids are the reason I hesitated doing it. I kept thinking about them growing up without their dad. It's hard stuff.

 

[mcmurtry66]

That's the medicine that I'm on....

About two years ago, one of my wife's best friends went on vacation down in Florida with her sister and each of their daughters. The last morning, her sister got up and noticed that my wife's friend wasn't in the room. She looked everywhere but couldn't find her. She then looked in the bathroom and there was blood in the sink. No one actually knows what happened, but from what her sister was told, it looks like she cut her wrists and then went to the top floor of the place they were staying and jumped. Police had already found her and taken her away, so she was id by her tattoos.

She was happy before she left, according to my wife. Her daughter now doesn't have a mom (her dad was never in the picture), so we try and hang out with her from time to time, but she's now a 6th grader so she's starting to get into her social circles. Her kid was her life, so like you said, it's hard to determine what people are thinking when they go through with it.

Honestly, my kids are the reason I hesitated doing it. I kept thinking about them growing up without their dad. It's hard stuff.

For years we paid almost a thousand bucks a month for it. was a pre-existing condition and hence not covered. and there was no generic. having the generic come out was a big deal, along with obamacare and covering pre-existing stuff.

hang in there... life really is a roller coaster and everything truly is temporary

 

[Baller23Boogie]

For years we paid almost a thousand bucks a month for it. was a pre-existing condition and hence not covered. and there was no generic. having the generic come out was a big deal, along with obamacare and covering pre-existing stuff.

hang in there... life really is a roller coaster and everything truly is temporary

Thanks, buddy

 

[kkott]

apparently we have a second "brain" for lack of a better term in our guts

my second brain is a little lower and controls even less, but what it does is powerful stuff!

 

[The one and only ACE]

Had a friend who I coached many seasons of youth bball with who killed himself a week ago Thursday. The guy was just always such a great guy and appeared to be happy and have it all together, and I always enjoyed being around him; kept one helluva book too! He was an excellent tennis player, MVP and captain of his college team, and a top ranked senior in the area and at his club, where his memorial was held. Great kids, gorgeous wife, nice house, good job... and yet he still had demons most of us had no idea he was struggling with. We weren't close friends and had drifted as our kids aged and I myself went through a divorce (we were "couples" friends). But, if you'd given me 100 names of acquaintances, he'd have been at the bottom of the list of folks I'd have guessed would kill themselves. My Dad killed himself when I was 10, so I have a good idea of what his boys are going to go through, although they are older... (I think it would be tougher at that age). No person in their right mind kills themselves, maybe except for a terminal illness, which I don't think he had. Beyond that, it just hurts your loved ones so much, and they'll probably never understand or get over this, although you can learn to deal with it. Sad.

If you are struggling with mental illness, find someone to talk to. If you suspect a loved one is, talk to them and try and check on them below the superficial talk. I'm amazed how many people have told me during their lives they've thought about killing themselves. Obviously I think covid and social media have made it even worse. That's my PSA... this one's for you Chuck!

PS. I almost forgot, but after one of our kid's games they came over for pizza after, and I got them watching a particular IU v UK game. You'll be glad to know they all jumped and cheered @ the Wat Shot! I told you he was a good guy!

I work in mental health

 

[Eppy99]

Today, my oldest daughter tried to take her life. I went through this once before when she was in 8th grade. She’s now a junior in high school and we’re still trying to help her win this battle. She’s learned every goddam coping skill but we just can’t seem to get the right meds to help her out. Last night she took 4 handfuls of extra strength Tylenol. She reported to me earlier that day she had been feeling much better the last month which was much different than feeling depressed. The problem with feeling good is that she had become more impulsive. She walked into our bedroom at 2:30am last night crying that she had just broken up with her boyfriend. After talking to her for a good 15 minutes we told net to come sleep
With us. She said she was going to get her pillow. It seemed like she was taking too long to get a pillow so my wife checked on her. She was laying on her bed with her phone and a bottle of Tylenol. We always lock up the meds and sharp objects. Somehow we missed this bottle. We rushed her to the hospital last night and shes
Now taking the antedote as prescribed by the poison center. It will be at least 20 hours of this infusion and maybe longer. Meanwhile my other two girls are distraught. They’re scared for their older sister, and thought we were past this….I was in shock this morning and finally just had a good cry In an empty hallway. I don’t know where to send her after she’s medically stable. She’s already been inpatient In 8th grade and recently competed an IOP program. She has the coping skills now she just needs the will to live again to put those skills to work. I will be either looking for a different residential program or multiple private therapy options. The mental health care system is not great here. I feel like there’s very few options…::I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could take away her pain. I wish i wish I wish. I miss coming to the AOTF for light hearted play and banter. I wish life wasn’t so tough for my kid. At this point I’m just rambling…there’s not many people you share with about your daughters repeated suicide attempts.

Hug your kids and tell them you love them…sometimes love isn’t enough to help them cross the finish line…but do it anyways.

 

[hookyIU1990]

Today, my oldest daughter tried to take her life. I went through this once before when she was in 8th grade. She’s now a junior in high school and we’re still trying to help her win this battle. She’s learned every goddam coping skill but we just can’t seem to get the right meds to help her out. Last night she took 4 handfuls of extra strength Tylenol. She reported to me earlier that day she had been feeling much better the last month which was much different than feeling depressed. The problem with feeling good is that she had become more impulsive. She walked into our bedroom at 2:30am last night crying that she had just broken up with her boyfriend. After talking to her for a good 15 minutes we told net to come sleep
With us. She said she was going to get her pillow. It seemed like she was taking too long to get a pillow so my wife checked on her. She was laying on her bed with her phone and a bottle of Tylenol. We always lock up the meds and sharp objects. Somehow we missed this bottle. We rushed her to the hospital last night and shes
Now taking the antedote as prescribed by the poison center. It will be at least 20 hours of this infusion and maybe longer. Meanwhile my other two girls are distraught. They’re scared for their older sister, and thought we were past this….I was in shock this morning and finally just had a good cry In an empty hallway. I don’t know where to send her after she’s medically stable. She’s already been inpatient In 8th grade and recently competed an IOP program. She has the coping skills now she just needs the will to live again to put those skills to work. I will be either looking for a different residential program or multiple private therapy options. The mental health care system is not great here. I feel like there’s very few options…::I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could take away her pain. I wish i wish I wish. I miss coming to the AOTF for light hearted play and banter. I wish life wasn’t so tough for my kid. At this point I’m just rambling…there’s not many people you share with about your daughters repeated suicide attempts.

Hug your kids and tell them you love them…sometimes love isn’t enough to help them cross the finish line…but do it anyways.

Glad you're there for her and hope she's able to get all this sorted put. Really sorry to hear what each of you are going through.

 

[mcmurtry66]

Today, my oldest daughter tried to take her life. I went through this once before when she was in 8th grade. She’s now a junior in high school and we’re still trying to help her win this battle. She’s learned every goddam coping skill but we just can’t seem to get the right meds to help her out. Last night she took 4 handfuls of extra strength Tylenol. She reported to me earlier that day she had been feeling much better the last month which was much different than feeling depressed. The problem with feeling good is that she had become more impulsive. She walked into our bedroom at 2:30am last night crying that she had just broken up with her boyfriend. After talking to her for a good 15 minutes we told net to come sleep
With us. She said she was going to get her pillow. It seemed like she was taking too long to get a pillow so my wife checked on her. She was laying on her bed with her phone and a bottle of Tylenol. We always lock up the meds and sharp objects. Somehow we missed this bottle. We rushed her to the hospital last night and shes
Now taking the antedote as prescribed by the poison center. It will be at least 20 hours of this infusion and maybe longer. Meanwhile my other two girls are distraught. They’re scared for their older sister, and thought we were past this….I was in shock this morning and finally just had a good cry In an empty hallway. I don’t know where to send her after she’s medically stable. She’s already been inpatient In 8th grade and recently competed an IOP program. She has the coping skills now she just needs the will to live again to put those skills to work. I will be either looking for a different residential program or multiple private therapy options. The mental health care system is not great here. I feel like there’s very few options…::I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could take away her pain. I wish i wish I wish. I miss coming to the AOTF for light hearted play and banter. I wish life wasn’t so tough for my kid. At this point I’m just rambling…there’s not many people you share with about your daughters repeated suicide attempts.

Hug your kids and tell them you love them…sometimes love isn’t enough to help them cross the finish line…but do it anyways.

I am so very sorry to hear this. I cannot imagine. Exhaust everything. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Baller23Boogie]

Today, my oldest daughter tried to take her life. I went through this once before when she was in 8th grade. She’s now a junior in high school and we’re still trying to help her win this battle. She’s learned every goddam coping skill but we just can’t seem to get the right meds to help her out. Last night she took 4 handfuls of extra strength Tylenol. She reported to me earlier that day she had been feeling much better the last month which was much different than feeling depressed. The problem with feeling good is that she had become more impulsive. She walked into our bedroom at 2:30am last night crying that she had just broken up with her boyfriend. After talking to her for a good 15 minutes we told net to come sleep
With us. She said she was going to get her pillow. It seemed like she was taking too long to get a pillow so my wife checked on her. She was laying on her bed with her phone and a bottle of Tylenol. We always lock up the meds and sharp objects. Somehow we missed this bottle. We rushed her to the hospital last night and shes
Now taking the antedote as prescribed by the poison center. It will be at least 20 hours of this infusion and maybe longer. Meanwhile my other two girls are distraught. They’re scared for their older sister, and thought we were past this….I was in shock this morning and finally just had a good cry In an empty hallway. I don’t know where to send her after she’s medically stable. She’s already been inpatient In 8th grade and recently competed an IOP program. She has the coping skills now she just needs the will to live again to put those skills to work. I will be either looking for a different residential program or multiple private therapy options. The mental health care system is not great here. I feel like there’s very few options…::I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could take away her pain. I wish i wish I wish. I miss coming to the AOTF for light hearted play and banter. I wish life wasn’t so tough for my kid. At this point I’m just rambling…there’s not many people you share with about your daughters repeated suicide attempts.

Hug your kids and tell them you love them…sometimes love isn’t enough to help them cross the finish line…but do it anyways.

Stay strong, brother.

Be there for her. Console her. Let her know that when she's tired, you and your wife will always be fighting for her because she is worth fighting for.

You're doing everything right. Keep fighting. You're daughter is going to come out way stronger because of the fight your family is showing her.

I'm going to be saying a extra prayer for extra strength and healing, not just for her, but for your entire family. You got this my man!

 

[evvcabinetman]

I’ll be praying for you and your family - I got a small taste of what you’re going through last fall and it’s hard to focus on anything. My son’s shitbag of a wife divorced him after about 6 months of marriage and on the one year anniversary of that “magical” day he was talking about taking his life. Luckily we made it through but I’ve never been through anything that rough before. Continue to be strong for your family Eppy - hopefully your daughter will realize how loved she is and gets the help she needs. Hang in there!

 

[Eppy99]

It’s just amazing to me how difficult it is to find the right medicines to treat mental illness. It literally feels like throwing darts. It’s seems to be different than any other type of medicine. She’s taken the DNA test to see what meds may work best. That doesn’t seems to help. What works for me doesn’t seem to help her. I really think we’re looking at a bipolar diagnosis but my understanding is that one cannot be made until the patient had a manic or hypomanic episode. She’s had neither at this point. But it also seems like most don’t have their first episode until they’re a little bit older. So then I don’t understand how you treat this illness when they’re still in pediatric care. Psychiatry is so frustrating. Our other issue is the number of drugs she’s had either allergic reactions, bad reactions or terrible side effects. She’s already been diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, clinical depression. She been hospitalized for an eating disorder and when not withholding food, cuts, and now this. I’m staying strong, but trying to convince her to keep fighting isn’t so easy when she feels hopeless.

Thank you everyone for your support and allowing me to vent.

 

[mcmurtry66]

It’s just amazing to me how difficult it is to find the right medicines to treat mental illness. It literally feels like throwing darts. It’s seems to be different than any other type of medicine. She’s taken the DNA test to see what meds may work best. That doesn’t seems to help. What works for me doesn’t seem to help her. I really think we’re looking at a bipolar diagnosis but my understanding is that one cannot be made until the patient had a manic or hypomanic episode. She’s had neither at this point. But it also seems like most don’t have their first episode until they’re a little bit older. So then I don’t understand how you treat this illness when they’re still in pediatric care. Psychiatry is so frustrating. Our other issue is the number of drugs she’s had either allergic reactions, bad reactions or terrible side effects. She’s already been diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, clinical depression. She been hospitalized for an eating disorder and when not withholding food, cuts, and now this. I’m staying strong, but trying to convince her to keep fighting isn’t so easy when she feels hopeless.

Thank you everyone for your support and allowing me to vent.

Ask questions. Demand things. Doctors are the best and the worst. Eating disorder. Hmmmm. Look into stomach issues too. You have a “brain” in your gut. My friend committed suicide about five years ago. Prior to that he would go through long stretches of feeling sick. Physically sick. Saw a thousand docs. Never diagnosed. Amongst his issues was chronic stomach problems.

 

[Eppy99]

Thank you Hoosiers for entertaining me tonight.

 

[sdhoosier]

Today, my oldest daughter tried to take her life. I went through this once before when she was in 8th grade. She’s now a junior in high school and we’re still trying to help her win this battle. She’s learned every goddam coping skill but we just can’t seem to get the right meds to help her out. Last night she took 4 handfuls of extra strength Tylenol. She reported to me earlier that day she had been feeling much better the last month which was much different than feeling depressed. The problem with feeling good is that she had become more impulsive. She walked into our bedroom at 2:30am last night crying that she had just broken up with her boyfriend. After talking to her for a good 15 minutes we told net to come sleep
With us. She said she was going to get her pillow. It seemed like she was taking too long to get a pillow so my wife checked on her. She was laying on her bed with her phone and a bottle of Tylenol. We always lock up the meds and sharp objects. Somehow we missed this bottle. We rushed her to the hospital last night and shes
Now taking the antedote as prescribed by the poison center. It will be at least 20 hours of this infusion and maybe longer. Meanwhile my other two girls are distraught. They’re scared for their older sister, and thought we were past this….I was in shock this morning and finally just had a good cry In an empty hallway. I don’t know where to send her after she’s medically stable. She’s already been inpatient In 8th grade and recently competed an IOP program. She has the coping skills now she just needs the will to live again to put those skills to work. I will be either looking for a different residential program or multiple private therapy options. The mental health care system is not great here. I feel like there’s very few options…::I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could take away her pain. I wish i wish I wish. I miss coming to the AOTF for light hearted play and banter. I wish life wasn’t so tough for my kid. At this point I’m just rambling…there’s not many people you share with about your daughters repeated suicide attempts.

Hug your kids and tell them you love them…sometimes love isn’t enough to help them cross the finish line…but do it anyways.

Thoughts and prayers Epps.... hang in there...It seems there is so much more for youngsters to deal with these days then when old people like me were growing up.

I'll send good thoughts and karma your and your families way

 

[VanPastorMan]

Today, my oldest daughter tried to take her life. I went through this once before when she was in 8th grade. She’s now a junior in high school and we’re still trying to help her win this battle. She’s learned every goddam coping skill but we just can’t seem to get the right meds to help her out. Last night she took 4 handfuls of extra strength Tylenol. She reported to me earlier that day she had been feeling much better the last month which was much different than feeling depressed. The problem with feeling good is that she had become more impulsive. She walked into our bedroom at 2:30am last night crying that she had just broken up with her boyfriend. After talking to her for a good 15 minutes we told net to come sleep
With us. She said she was going to get her pillow. It seemed like she was taking too long to get a pillow so my wife checked on her. She was laying on her bed with her phone and a bottle of Tylenol. We always lock up the meds and sharp objects. Somehow we missed this bottle. We rushed her to the hospital last night and shes
Now taking the antedote as prescribed by the poison center. It will be at least 20 hours of this infusion and maybe longer. Meanwhile my other two girls are distraught. They’re scared for their older sister, and thought we were past this….I was in shock this morning and finally just had a good cry In an empty hallway. I don’t know where to send her after she’s medically stable. She’s already been inpatient In 8th grade and recently competed an IOP program. She has the coping skills now she just needs the will to live again to put those skills to work. I will be either looking for a different residential program or multiple private therapy options. The mental health care system is not great here. I feel like there’s very few options…::I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could take away her pain. I wish i wish I wish. I miss coming to the AOTF for light hearted play and banter. I wish life wasn’t so tough for my kid. At this point I’m just rambling…there’s not many people you share with about your daughters repeated suicide attempts.

Hug your kids and tell them you love them…sometimes love isn’t enough to help them cross the finish line…but do it anyways.

I am thankful she is still with you my friend. Mental illness is sometimes hard to diagnose as you stated on your later post. Some people react a certain way to certain meds while others do not. I pray you all can find the answer. You have to be distraught yourself. As it was said by others. Keep loving her. I hope she can find some answers herself and have the desire to not only live but to thrive in life.

 

[Eppy99]

Just an update, kids gonna make it. Her toxicity levels from the Tylenol overdose are 100% back to normal and seems there’s no permanent damage to the liver as we can tell right now. She’s been medically cleared and transferred to a stress center. Not sure what we’re going to do next. She was at the same facility in 8th grade. We’re now open to trying to new meds that previously we were concerned might have long term side affects. It sucks that we potentially take on more risk with these meds but what’s the point if we can’t keep her alive. It doesn’t matter how brilliant of a student she is if she can’t stay alive to reach this potential. That’s it for now. Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. Let’s hope the Hoosiers give us all something to cheer about tonight.

 

[LurkingSinceLebowski]

Just an update, kids gonna make it. Her toxicity levels from the Tylenol overdose are 100% back to normal and seems there’s no permanent damage to the liver as we can tell right now. She’s been medically cleared and transferred to a stress center. Not sure what we’re going to do next. She was at the same facility in 8th grade. We’re now open to trying to new meds that previously we were concerned might have long term side affects. It sucks that we potentially take on more risk with these meds but what’s the point if we can’t keep her alive. It doesn’t matter how brilliant of a student she is if she can’t stay alive to reach this potential. That’s it for now. Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. Let’s hope the Hoosiers give us all something to cheer about tonight.

Happy to hear this, what a huge relief!

You are so on the money with regard to the complexities of treating with meds. It sounds like she and you have been provided with coping strategies. While they can be a tremendous help, they can also let you down.

I'm not familiar with treatment options that you have looked into, but I've seen some success with running. I mean running and running and running. And running some more. Marathon training level running. With patience and a plan, it's something that anyone can undertake. It's not a cure, but it's the best coping mechanism that I've witnessed.

Hang in there.

 

[kkott]

Today, my oldest daughter tried to take her life. I went through this once before when she was in 8th grade. She’s now a junior in high school and we’re still trying to help her win this battle. She’s learned every goddam coping skill but we just can’t seem to get the right meds to help her out. Last night she took 4 handfuls of extra strength Tylenol. She reported to me earlier that day she had been feeling much better the last month which was much different than feeling depressed. The problem with feeling good is that she had become more impulsive. She walked into our bedroom at 2:30am last night crying that she had just broken up with her boyfriend. After talking to her for a good 15 minutes we told net to come sleep
With us. She said she was going to get her pillow. It seemed like she was taking too long to get a pillow so my wife checked on her. She was laying on her bed with her phone and a bottle of Tylenol. We always lock up the meds and sharp objects. Somehow we missed this bottle. We rushed her to the hospital last night and shes
Now taking the antedote as prescribed by the poison center. It will be at least 20 hours of this infusion and maybe longer. Meanwhile my other two girls are distraught. They’re scared for their older sister, and thought we were past this….I was in shock this morning and finally just had a good cry In an empty hallway. I don’t know where to send her after she’s medically stable. She’s already been inpatient In 8th grade and recently competed an IOP program. She has the coping skills now she just needs the will to live again to put those skills to work. I will be either looking for a different residential program or multiple private therapy options. The mental health care system is not great here. I feel like there’s very few options…::I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could take away her pain. I wish i wish I wish. I miss coming to the AOTF for light hearted play and banter. I wish life wasn’t so tough for my kid. At this point I’m just rambling…there’s not many people you share with about your daughters repeated suicide attempts.

Hug your kids and tell them you love them…sometimes love isn’t enough to help them cross the finish line…but do it anyways.

So Sorry, Eppy. Hang in there. You want so badly to "fix" your kids and it only happens in it's own time. Stay strong!

 

[Eppy99]

Happy to hear this, what a huge relief!

You are so on the money with regard to the complexities of treating with meds. It sounds like she and you have been provided with coping strategies. While they can be a tremendous help, they can also let you down.

I'm not familiar with treatment options that you have looked into, but I've seen some success with running. I mean running and running and running. And running some more. Marathon training level running. With patience and a plan, it's something that anyone can undertake. It's not a cure, but it's the best coping mechanism that I've witnessed.

Hang in there.

Funny exercise really helps me…,but she’s battled an eating disorder since 8th grade so she can’t really afford to burn those calories as she needs every damn one of them. She tends to do more mindfulness exercise like Yoga.

 

[anon_6hv78pr714xta]

To keep this thread alive and to help those who might think they are alone:

My best friend's oldest son is leaving college today. He's a sophomore but has barely made it this far. Normal, bright kid, but has been battling depression for years and is just numb. He's on meds, but simply can't be motivated, and God knows, his dad has tried. Parents have an appointment for him to be interviewed for a program that might treat this, residentially, or maybe outpatient.

Really hope this kid can figure it out. My friend said he's heard about quite a few other kids who are going through something similar and that college transfers are very high right now among the COVID generation.

Parenting is so, so difficult. It's definitely the most life-altering event and responsibility I've ever experienced. It's just so indescribably hard to be in such a helpless position when it comes to your child (no matter their age).

Hang in there Eppy and all you other parents who are suffering through any kind of hardship and pain with your children.

 

[kkott]

To keep this thread alive and to help those who might think they are alone:

My best friend's oldest son is leaving college today. He's a sophomore but has barely made it this far. Normal, bright kid, but has been battling depression for years and is just numb. He's on meds, but simply can't be motivated, and God knows, his dad has tried. Parents have an appointment for him to be interviewed for a program that might treat this, residentially, or maybe outpatient.

Really hope this kid can figure it out. My friend said he's heard about quite a few other kids who are going through something similar and that college transfers are very high right now among the COVID generation.

Parenting is so, so difficult. It's definitely the most life-altering event and responsibility I've ever experienced. It's just so indescribably hard to be in such a helpless position when it comes to your child (no matter their age).

Hang in there Eppy and all you other parents who are suffering through any kind of hardship and pain with your children.

Yep, good parents are huge, but no guarantee of happy, healthy kids. Heartbreaking to watch your kids, or those of friends/family, struggle.

 

[Eppy99]

Hey everyone. We’re doing ok. This past week was spring break. We decided not to cancel our college visits since they were for both my daughters. My oldest is a junior and my middle a sophomore. It’s challenging to know what to do about college. My oldest is a very bright, high achieving student whose dream school is Brown, but also considering Emory, Washu and Vandy. Part of me doesn’t want to tell this kid to give up on any of her dreams, but at what point do you have to level with your kid and say I can’t let you leave this city much less the house? My wife and I aren’t on the same page either which is problematic. I’ve hinted to both we should consider IU honors as it’s close to Carmel. Perhaps we should even think about Butler. The idea would be to give her a chance to live away from home even through it’s just 15 minutes away and learn to be independent. If she can prove to herself and us she can take care of herself and not be a danger then maybe she transfers. If she lives at home and goes to IUPUI I don’t know what she’s proven. So to me Butler is the safe choice.

My wife thinks it’s too early to make any decisions. Perhaps she’s right but I don’t know what changes this kid can make and where we’ll be the figuring out the meds. I don’t want to tell her to give up her dreams but again I want her to be safe and be realistic.