This exchange is so full of sadness, fake machismo, drama queen feelings, impotence, and WGAFF that it has to be a huge put-on. There is no way it represents real conversation (online or otherwise) from real adults.
Here's a little secret: no one, and I mean NO ONE gives a shit about what teams you root for, least of all the members of those teams, and the fact that you pull for different squads for different reasons, from different eras, for different lengths of time gives you zero advantage over the other in the whole "not being a total boring little infantile shitheel" sweepstakes. You are both losers in that game, and in general, for that matter, and it wouldn't make a difference what athlete you were rubbing one out to, what team you had bought posters of to wallpaper your parents' basement with, or what sport you acted like you been really good at in high school.