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Minnesota Gophers - FRAUDS

Nick is solid... Storm, Crimson Spirit, Majestic, Thunder, Crimson Storm, and Scott 😉 are all possibilities..., or maybe just Crimson...
Can't We just hire the Buffalo Character from the Bw3 Commercials. If We had an Agricultural School and place to put Him, We could take a page from University of Colorado, and get a real buffalo. Probably some liability issues the University doesn't want to accept.
 
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Crimson storm sounds like a euphemism for Aunt Flo....and an Alabama rip off. Thunder and Scott are tolerable but uninspiring.

Jk. Scott is classy as hell. Too classy for a big sweaty hairy half-ton shit machine.
Scott? For Dolson?
 
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I don't even care that ol chargey sounds like an execution method. I'd lean into it. Shoot a hype video every week where we pretend to throw the switch on them. Edgy. If we can play a song in the pregame about being down with murder, we can play a video where we pretend to execute someone.

Loljk. Not really. Okay maybe I'm kidding. Opposing coach might complain about that.
 
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Can't We just hire the Buffalo Character from the Bw3 Commercials. If We had an Agricultural School and place to put Him, We could take a page from University of Colorado, and get a real buffalo. Probably some liability issues the University doesn't want to accept.
Only if we cut a check to BW3 and also probably to Will Arnett to do the voice. No thanks.

I don't care about the liability. I want a real bison. Build a stable where that stupid flagpole is and move that sumbitch to where Hep's Rock is and put Heps rock next to the stable and let the kids pet both.
 
Here is what Minnesota should do to solve their problem. Build a frame that They can cover or dress with the Goldie the Gopher Costume. Bring in Bill Murray for the game. Run a wire from a Dynamite Plunger to the mascot frame and put a charge underneath. Have Murray hit the plunger to detonate the charge and symbolically blow up the old Gopher Mascot. They can then introduce the Rodent of their choice as the new mascot.
I have way too much time on my hands.
 
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Can't We just hire the Buffalo Character from the Bw3 Commercials. If We had an Agricultural School and place to put Him, We could take a page from University of Colorado, and get a real buffalo. Probably some liability issues the University doesn't want to accept.


Actually the BW3 character (minus the wings) is a great prototype goal (as far as realism goes) to shoot for... Since that character is most likely computer generated it's probably an unreachable goal but something close may be artistically possible in terms of just a head area...

Per my avatar:
A Bison enclosure is doable as a viewing area only... (unless you want your child to risk losing a hand or more)... Bison are not inherently aggressive but aren't terribly social when it comes to interspecies hands on interactions in close quarters...

Bison are proud, wild animals whose normally slow, deliberate movements hide their athletic ability to jump up to 6 feet vertically, run at speeds up to 35mph and head butt (with horns engaged leverage) a minivan over onto its side...

A well constructed, artistically representative mascot head and neck worn by a tall, muscular individual is probably the safest bet for a Bison mascot as long as it truly represents a Bison and Not a cartoon character version of one (also per my avatar)...
 
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Actually the BW3 character (minus the wings) is a great prototype goal (as far as realism goes) to shoot for... Since that character is most likely computer generated it's probably an unreachable goal but something close may be artistically possible in terms of just a head area...

Per my avatar:
A Bison enclosure is doable as a viewing area only... (unless you want your child to risk losing a hand or more)... Bison are not inherently aggressive but aren't terribly social when it comes to interspecies hands on interactions in close quarters...

Bison are proud, wild animals whose normally slow, deliberate movements hide their athletic ability to jump up to 6 feet vertically, run at speeds up to 35mph and head butt (with horns engaged leverage) a minivan over into its side...

A well constructed, artistically representative mascot head and neck worn by a tall, muscular individual is probably the safest bet for a Bison mascot as long as it truly represents a Bison and Not a cartoon character version of one (per my avatar)...
The most realistic option is the real one. A real bison. For real. Pooping on the opponents flag and snorting at the opponents bench. Hopefully at the same time.
 
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Actually the BW3 character (minus the wings) is a great prototype goal (as far as realism goes) to shoot for... Since that character is most likely computer generated it's probably an unreachable goal but something close may be artistically possible in terms of just a head area...

Per my avatar:
A Bison enclosure is doable as a viewing area only... (unless you want your child to risk losing a hand or more)... Bison are not inherently aggressive but aren't terribly social when it comes to interspecies hands on interactions in close quarters...

Bison are proud, wild animals whose normally slow, deliberate movements hide their athletic ability to jump up to 6 feet vertically, run at speeds up to 35mph and head butt (with horns engaged leverage) a minivan over into its side...

A well constructed, artistically representative mascot head and neck worn by a tall, muscular individual is probably the safest bet for a Bison mascot as long as it truly represents a Bison and Not a cartoon character version of one (per my avatar)...
I've got the answer - a bison hologram!
 
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The chair is probably our best known symbol. While walking through the UCLA tailgaters on the way to the Rosd Bowl Stadium, we passed several people who yelled out "Bobby Knight! Throw a chair".

We were like, WTF? Is that the only thing they know about us?
UCLA learned a few other things about IU in that game.
 
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