Friday funnies..

[sdhoosier]

Tony ambled into a bar, and noticed a bucket behind the counter filled to the brim with cash.
"Is there a contest on to win that dough?" Tony asked the bartender.

"Yep," the barkeep responded, "It costs $50 to enter, and then you have to do three things: First you've got to knock out Spike, our 300-pound bouncer. Then we've got a pit bull out back with an abscessed tooth, and it's up to you to yank it out. Finally, the 90-year old lady who owns this place is upstairs. If you can give her a multiple-orgasm, all the money's yours."

Tony was up for it. He paid the fee and approached the hulking doorman.
With a single blow, Tony knocked Spike cold.
Triumphant, Tony stormed into the bar's backyard. The patrons listened to the pit bull's ferocious bark for several minutes, which was followed by a series of hysterical yelps.

Covered with nicks and scratches, Tony reentered the saloon and yelled:
"Two down! Now where's that old broad with the abscessed tooth?"



And a chick..

 

[Eppy99]

Large fake breasts are overrated. Don't you know small breasts make your Johnson appear larger.

Also reminds me of the Radiohead song Fake Plastic Trees. Honestly who wants to hug that? When it comes to hugging trees you want the real thing.

 

[kkott]

Large fake breasts are overrated. Don't you know small breasts make your Johnson appear larger.

Also reminds me of the Radiohead song Fake Plastic Trees. Honestly who wants to hug that? When it comes to hugging trees you want the real thing.

Ummm, I'd hug those and do all kinds of other shiite as well... I probably just don't want to marry them.

 

[sdhoosier]

Large fake breasts are overrated. Don't you know small breasts make your Johnson appear larger.

Also reminds me of the Radiohead song Fake Plastic Trees. Honestly who wants to hug that? When it comes to hugging trees you want the real thing.

I know there is a faction on the AOTF that dislikes the 'enhanced boobies'...I myself prefer them so my posts are slanted in that direction.. I try to throw some more normal sizes in as well for you 'naturalists'. vbg

 

[Eppy99]

Could you hire a secretary with a bod like that and would your wife allow it?

 

[sdhoosier]

Could you hire a secretary with a bod like that and would your wife allow it?

No and no.

 

[Coach Pete Bell]

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and the big muscles, but I don't get why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

 

[sdhoosier]

Bonus funny


A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?"
The barman says, "No, this is a bar, we don't have bread."
So the duck says, "Got any bread?"
The barman says, "No, this is a bar, we don't have bread. I told you that."
"Got any bread?" asks the duck.
"No, we don't sell bread here... and if you say that again i will nail you to the table!!!!"
The duck pauses then says, "Got any nails?"
"No," sighs the barman.
So the duck says..."Got any bread?"