Don’t get me wrong staying at home with the kids has easily been the most rewarding job I could ever have. It allowed my wife and I to raise the kids with the vision we had for them. My wife was able to focus on her career as a physician. I was able to spend time doing philanthropy and sitting on boards.
I probably made more money staying at home just because I was able to dedicate myself to studying and analyzing my investments and crypto. The amount I played on Draftkings wouldn’t have been possible with a a full time job.
No I’m not saying quit your jobs invest in crypto and play fantasy sports. Some of my most challenging years have been while I made the most amount of money. I’d give every penny back for my kids just to be happy.
So, with two of my three girls headed to college in the next two years it was time to figure out how to fill my cup when they leave. Honestly I needed this regardless. Even as I paint this beautiful picture of what looks like a lovely existence many of you are familiar with my struggles. I’m fighting for my marriage, coming to terms with trauma I experienced as a child, learning to let go of the lack of affection I had as a child when I most needed it. Nobody has a perfect life, but I’ve done a lot of work to become more aware of why I struggle. As much as I want to intellectualize the why, there’s parts I’ve determined I’m powerless over. No this Jew is not giving himself to Jesus, but he did attend his first 12 step program meeting. I honestly can’t recall if I’ve written about that particular meeting in this space. It was a big step for me…and honestly one in which I’m still deciding if I am powerless.
Another area some of you know I’m having to put trust in is this bipolar diagnosis I received this spring. At times I feel better with the medications but it just feels like I’m on this constant roller coaster ride. Somedays i feel perfectly fine and then every once in awhile there’s uncontrollable tears.
So I haven’t been on here much these last few weeks. I’m not sure I discussed I had neck surgery to fix a pinched nerve in my neck. They went through the front of the neck and fused the C5/c6. Ah, I remember now i did journal to you all about this because while on the narcotics the next day I got phished for 140k in one of my crypto wallets.
Anyways, the first week of recovery went well, but since then it’s gone down hill. I have an MRI tonight. Basically I’ve had pain everyday except for the first week. Starting last week I lost occupational use of my right arm. The bicep and tricep are working but the deltoid is dead. This is the same muscle I struggled with pre surgery but now this arm is practically useless. I’m not sure the exact meaning of paralysis but I can feel pain in it but I can’t lift it And if you raise it above my head gravity lets it fall without any resistance. My surgeon is quite concerned and wants to know why what looked like a successful surgery now has a patient with acute deltoid weakness/paralysis three weeks later.
Anyways….so there’s always some good and bad. I’m choosing to believe getting this new job will add much to my life. I just hope physically I can do the work. Right now since this job involves sales I can make it happen. The future shall tell.
As always thanks for allowing me this space to share and be as transparent and vulnerable as needed.
I probably made more money staying at home just because I was able to dedicate myself to studying and analyzing my investments and crypto. The amount I played on Draftkings wouldn’t have been possible with a a full time job.
No I’m not saying quit your jobs invest in crypto and play fantasy sports. Some of my most challenging years have been while I made the most amount of money. I’d give every penny back for my kids just to be happy.
So, with two of my three girls headed to college in the next two years it was time to figure out how to fill my cup when they leave. Honestly I needed this regardless. Even as I paint this beautiful picture of what looks like a lovely existence many of you are familiar with my struggles. I’m fighting for my marriage, coming to terms with trauma I experienced as a child, learning to let go of the lack of affection I had as a child when I most needed it. Nobody has a perfect life, but I’ve done a lot of work to become more aware of why I struggle. As much as I want to intellectualize the why, there’s parts I’ve determined I’m powerless over. No this Jew is not giving himself to Jesus, but he did attend his first 12 step program meeting. I honestly can’t recall if I’ve written about that particular meeting in this space. It was a big step for me…and honestly one in which I’m still deciding if I am powerless.
Another area some of you know I’m having to put trust in is this bipolar diagnosis I received this spring. At times I feel better with the medications but it just feels like I’m on this constant roller coaster ride. Somedays i feel perfectly fine and then every once in awhile there’s uncontrollable tears.
So I haven’t been on here much these last few weeks. I’m not sure I discussed I had neck surgery to fix a pinched nerve in my neck. They went through the front of the neck and fused the C5/c6. Ah, I remember now i did journal to you all about this because while on the narcotics the next day I got phished for 140k in one of my crypto wallets.
Anyways, the first week of recovery went well, but since then it’s gone down hill. I have an MRI tonight. Basically I’ve had pain everyday except for the first week. Starting last week I lost occupational use of my right arm. The bicep and tricep are working but the deltoid is dead. This is the same muscle I struggled with pre surgery but now this arm is practically useless. I’m not sure the exact meaning of paralysis but I can feel pain in it but I can’t lift it And if you raise it above my head gravity lets it fall without any resistance. My surgeon is quite concerned and wants to know why what looked like a successful surgery now has a patient with acute deltoid weakness/paralysis three weeks later.
Anyways….so there’s always some good and bad. I’m choosing to believe getting this new job will add much to my life. I just hope physically I can do the work. Right now since this job involves sales I can make it happen. The future shall tell.
As always thanks for allowing me this space to share and be as transparent and vulnerable as needed.
