Stuff for old guys

[Mark Milton]

Had my prostate exam this am. Asked the doctor where I should put my pants and he said “right over there by mine”

Not the answer I was hoping for

Just a little gallows humor as the board begins its death spiral

 

[snarlcakes]

Had my prostate exam this am. Asked the doctor where I should put my pants and he said “right over there by mine”

Not the answer I was hoping for

Just a little gallows humor as the board begins its death spiral

I hope he was a gentlemen and stopped at two knuckles.

 

[Bulk VanderHuge]

I hope he was a gentlemen and stopped at two knuckles.

Knuckles? I'm not sure you're talking about the same thing.

 

[CO. Hoosier]

Had my prostate exam this am. Asked the doctor where I should put my pants and he said “right over there by mine”

Not the answer I was hoping for

Just a little gallows humor as the board begins its death spiral

Just make sure you don’t feel both hands on your shoulders and you’ll be fine.

 

[Mark Milton]

I hope he was a gentlemen and stopped at two knuckles.

Throwing a towel at me and saying “go on and clean yourself up”, seems kind of gentlemanly?

 

[Univee2]

Had my prostate exam this am. Asked the doctor where I should put my pants and he said “right over there by mine”

Not the answer I was hoping for

Just a little gallows humor as the board begins its death spiral

You saw a doctor on a Saturday morning?

Where were you? On the golf course?

 

[IUclover]

Just make sure you don’t feel both hands on your shoulders and you’ll be fine.

One hand is ok?

 

[snarlcakes]

Knuckles? I'm not sure you're talking about the same thing.

His office was behind a Kroger and he said he was a Doctor.

 

[mcmurtry66]

I hope he was a gentlemen and stopped at two knuckles.

Crude crude story. My good buddy is the world’s smartest Hoosier. Great lawyer. Brilliant guy. His little brother is and always was a total dipshit. So at like 40 he gets his massage license and opens a studio. Hired two chicks.

So my buddy gets in a car wreck. After therapy starts going there for massages. Gets there and the chick who usually does it is gone. Hey where’s Sara? Oh she called in sick. ****. What about the other chick. It’s her off day. Great. Alright dude I’ll catch you later.

No no wait I’ll give you a massage.

My buddy busts out laughing I’m not getting a massage from my fcking brother ya queer! lol.

So his brother gets real serious and goes you know. I know you think this is a joke. But I went to school for it. It’s my business. It’s how I make a living. You always look down on my stuff. I’m a professional.

So my buddy is like ****. Okay. Takes off his shirt and gets on the table face down. And his brother asks where the pain is originating from and if it’s radiating and all this stuff. Then hands him a towel.

My buddy goes what’s the towel for

And his brother goes “your cum” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 and bust out laughing.

My buddy jumped off the table punched him and went back to work lol

 

[hookyIU1990]

 

[Hoopsdoc1978]

I hope he was a gentlemen and stopped at two knuckles.

Just the tip.

I use that phrase randomly just to irritate my wife.

 

[mcmurtry66]

Just the tip.

I use that phrase randomly just to irritate my wife.

Soak is another good one. I used to text my ex stoker. “Brutal brutal day. Exhausted. We can soak tonight but literally that’s it! Seriously”

 

[Baller23Boogie]

Just the tip.

I use that phrase randomly just to irritate my wife.

Moist is my wife's buzz word. Hates it with a passion.

 

[hookyIU1990]

Moist is my wife's buzz word. Hates it with a passion.

I've never understood the hatred for that word.

That brisket is so moist you'd never know it was in the smoker for 18 hours.

Inject or brine the chicken so it stays moist.

When I rub your shoulders does it make you moist?

Harmless word

 

[Victorbmyboy]

Is that a superbowl ring?

 

[Joe_Hoopsier]

Crude crude story. My good buddy is the world’s smartest Hoosier. Great lawyer. Brilliant guy. His little brother is and always was a total dipshit. So at like 40 he gets his massage license and opens a studio. Hired two chicks.

So my buddy gets in a car wreck. After therapy starts going there for massages. Gets there and the chick who usually does it is gone. Hey where’s Sara? Oh she called in sick. ****. What about the other chick. It’s her off day. Great. Alright dude I’ll catch you later.

No no wait I’ll give you a massage.

My buddy busts out laughing I’m not getting a massage from my fcking brother ya queer! lol.

So his brother gets real serious and goes you know. I know you think this is a joke. But I went to school for it. It’s my business. It’s how I make a living. You always look down on my stuff. I’m a professional.

So my buddy is like ****. Okay. Takes off his shirt and gets on the table face down. And his brother asks where the pain is originating from and if it’s radiating and all this stuff. Then hands him a towel.

My buddy goes what’s the towel for

And his brother goes “your cum” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 and bust out laughing.

My buddy jumped off the table punched him and went back to work lol

So he's a Democrat?


Too soon? muahahahahaha

 

[mcmurtry66]

So he's a Democrat?


Too soon? muahahahahaha

lol. He’s a piece of work. Cop. Would sit at the border of the city and county in his cop car catching “hoosiers escaping the city.” Then he’d look at the address and like a Yellowstone park ranger go “what brings you to the county today?” A block away lol.

Smartest guy I know. But like us Joe. A disaster. Living with girlfriend waitresses during midlife crises. Was a cop coaching soccer and still finished number 1 in his class.

Goes to work at this firm full of nerds called Bryan cave. To this day when guys from there mention him they say stuff like yeah. That guy. All we did was work. But within a year of him being there every Friday he led a caravan of nerds over the river to the titty bars for lunch. Nerds. In the vip room

 

[Mgdriver]

I have a woman doctor.