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San Francisco hires an expert in fatness

My 6th grader is doing the presidential fitness test right now. It is basically sit ups, pull ups, mile run.
My wife and i were trying to explain when we were kids they took some sort of fat calipers to 4 or 5 spots on our body and the PE teacher marked it on his clipboard, and we had to climb a rope to the ceiling. Where did all that data go? Did the oval office review all that great info on 11 yr old kids?
My daughter doesn’t have an ounce of fat on her and for that test ran a 16 plus minute mile. Not sure how that’s even possible
 
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I have a love/hate relationship with dating apps, but when I'm on them I go well below my age range. The trick is finding someone who doesn't have young kids. I'm going to be an empty nester next summer. I loved my kids at every age, but I don't want to push the reset button and start going to kids plays and youth sporting events again.
Smart move. Little ones are exhausting
 
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I'm 6'3" and 210. With the ability to get to 225-230 real quick.

Size don't scare me. There are limits of course but if you asked whether i've had relations with a woman heavier than myself i would give you a sly grin and say only "a woman?"

Sort of tangential, my brother-in-law tried to fix me up with a woman from his CrossFit gym. She was nice, liked good music and is good looking, but she was way too ripped.

I hate saying that because she is a good person, but I just couldn’t get past it. I’m not attracted to that look. At all.
 
You think anybody thinks he's a failure because he goes home to Starla at night?

Napoleon Dynamite Fight GIF
 
My daughter doesn’t have an ounce of fat on her and for that test ran a 16 plus minute mile. Not sure how that’s even possible
OK, there might be some room for improvement there.
My 6th grader is on the XCountry team and does the 3K in 13:30ish, which is not bad but at the city meet an 8th grader did it at 10:30. The course is over hills and thru some woods too. In the car, i was being a d!ck and said over the summer he is going to have to get in the low 12min. In his prepubescent voice he yelled "Do you think i am fvcking fun!" holy sh!t was it funny......you had to have been there
 
I have a love/hate relationship with dating apps, but when I'm on them I go well below my age range. The trick is finding someone who doesn't have young kids. I'm going to be an empty nester next summer. I loved my kids at every age, but I don't want to push the reset button and start going to kids plays and youth sporting events again.
youth sporting events are the worst, especially b/c it feels like all the other parents want to be there and i don't.
My girl's dance recitals are really cute, but she is my favorite kid though. A good visual for dance is taking a wad of cash (around $2k) and just chucking it out of moving car.
 
youth sporting events are the worst, especially b/c it feels like all the other parents want to be there and i don't.
My girl's dance recitals are really cute, but she is my favorite kid though. A good visual for dance is taking a wad of cash (around $2k) and just chucking it out of moving car.
I totally get it. Which is why I don't want to relive it. Maybe in another decade or two I'll begin to do the grandparent thing and go to those things, but that'll be it.

Earlier this year I went on a few dates with a woman who seemed pretty cool and on the same page with a lot of things. On the second date she started telling me a lot of things about her grade school aged kids' schools, all the activities, sporting events, etc. I remember feeling antsy when she started referring to them by their first names instead of 'my son' or 'my daughter' on the third date. That felt like a slippery slope to me.

Full disclosure. Almost everyone I know tells me I'm way too picky when it comes to women.
 
I'm 6'3" and 210. With the ability to get to 225-230 real quick.

Size don't scare me. There are limits of course but if you asked whether i've had relations with a woman heavier than myself i would give you a sly grin and say only "a woman?"
Wording? Freudian slip?

Sooooooo...........you only like skinny dudes? Damn it! I'm currently on the larger side now and haven't been under 225 since my wedding.

For the record, I only made love to one bigger gal in my life. I always wanted them to remember me afterwards. I didn't care if it was because I was in their bottom 5 or starting 5. I 100% made that young ladies starting 5 as a high volume shooting 2 guard.
 
My 6th grader is doing the presidential fitness test right now. It is basically sit ups, pull ups, mile run.
My wife and i were trying to explain when we were kids they took some sort of fat calipers to 4 or 5 spots on our body and the PE teacher marked it on his clipboard, and we had to climb a rope to the ceiling. Where did all that data go? Did the oval office review all that great info on 11 yr old kids?
The first Presidential Fitness Test was a 50 mile hike in 20 hours or less and started under JFK. Reportedly, people all over the country participated in the first one.
 
Wording? Freudian slip?

Sooooooo...........you only like skinny dudes? Damn it! I'm currently on the larger side now and haven't been under 225 since my wedding.

For the record, I only made love to one bigger gal in my life. I always wanted them to remember me afterwards. I didn't care if it was because I was in their bottom 5 or starting 5. I 100% made that young ladies starting 5 as a high volume shooting 2 guard.
No, just that it would have been singular. I spread the wealth (poverty) snarl.
 
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I'm 6'3" and 210. With the ability to get to 225-230 real quick.

Size don't scare me. There are limits of course but if you asked whether i've had relations with a woman heavier than myself i would give you a sly grin and say only "A* woman?"

**as in singular (edited for snarl)

What about those of us that are 5'1", 275 lbs... picture me a plump Napoleon...without the hat.... but you can swap in a cow for the horse any time ;)
 
OK, there might be some room for improvement there.
My 6th grader is on the XCountry team and does the 3K in 13:30ish, which is not bad but at the city meet an 8th grader did it at 10:30. The course is over hills and thru some woods too. In the car, i was being a d!ck and said over the summer he is going to have to get in the low 12min. In his prepubescent voice he yelled "Do you think i am fvcking fun!" holy sh!t was it funny......you had to have been there

Nothing like the squeaking of boys before they transition to men
 
All that fun stuff is gone. Hot chicks. That early dance. Having your barista tell you that girl you talk to wanted me to give you her number. Walking over for happy hours and getting the eye from some hot group of friends. Not having to wait for late night wounded antelopes. Having your pick.

Then going to soccer dressed in plain clothes. Playing in cleats or flats untied. You see that @larsIU. Oh wow. The guy in a black Flagg t shirt with his shoes untied just wrecked the game.

Now. Gerd. Tooth aches. Random pains. Zero sexting options. . Just random texts from exes to remind me how crummy they still think I am. Invitations to play walking soccer. An actual thing. Aging ain’t easy
you could always change teams

i'll bet you'd get some action
 
you could always change teams

i'll bet you'd get some action
i've thought of that. go down to so fla and marry some rich old queer. it's really not a terrible plan. i'd have what two horrible hours a week where the guy was getting me. at minimum now i have 15-20 horrible hours a week. and the plus side time would probably be way better than the plus side time now
 
i've thought of that. go down to so fla and marry some rich old queer. it's really not a terrible plan. i'd have what two horrible hours a week where the guy was getting me. at minimum now i have 15-20 horrible hours a week. and the plus side time would probably be way better than the plus side time now
I have this picture in my head of you with a Truman Capote knockoff who turns out to be a gay conman without two nickels to rub together. All that for nothing.

Tom Hollander Head Tilt GIF by Feud: Capote vs. The Swans
 
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