Wheelbarrow, wife’s pocketbook. Tomato, tomata
Men, would you like to live longer?
- Thread starter TheOriginalHappyGoat
- Start date
They don’t make Dems like you these days then.
divorce has taken many on both sides. Perhaps the Cons on the board are those without good morals since Libs tend to have higher rates on average?
And hands….
She also took his fanny pack and rainbow colored helmet.
Something like this happened to me a couple years ago. I got in my car to go to work one morning and felt like I sat on one of my balls. By the time I got to work it felt like a tiny gremlin was stabbing me.
I called my dr and she said come in, I’ll fit you in.
Now, this woman has been my dr for probably 10 years at this point. I really like her. She’s a little younger than me, maybe around 40 or so, and very good at her job. She’s also not afraid to yell at me over my health choices, which is something I need. She also happens to be decently hot, in a “girl next door” kind of way.
Anyway, she THOROUGHLY examined my balls and taint. Poking, prodding, lifting, squeezing, all of it.
Then she sent me to the hospital to get a scan where, and I’m not making this up, a very large black man rubbed a freezing cold gel over every square inch of the area before he scanned it.
Mind you, by this point my fellas were like two dried raisins in a tiny vacuum sealed skin colored bag.
Turned out to be an infection. She sent me on my way with a prescription for antibiotics. Said they looked normal, although I SWEAR she almost added “if a little small.”
My wife says I imagined that, although she(my wife) chuckles every time we talk about it.
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An all-around great post, if a little small.
Did either encounter give you an erection? And more importantly if the answer is yes, which one?
I vowed not to die until until IU wins the national championship in football. I think I just might be immortal.Are you sure?
Men and other mammals live longer if they are castrated, says researcher
Cat Bohannon tells Hay festival audience it is not known why men go through life ‘smuggling two little death nuggets’www.theguardian.com
Both. He’s a Dream Teamer.
I really had to bite my tongue when the CT Nurse said "OK, now hold your penis against your stomach" (to keep it from flopping all over while she's doing the scan, I guess). I thought to myself, "Babe, you're giving me way too much credit. With everyone checking out my junk, shrinkage is a real thing".
One more story: When I did my initial Army physical, they had a male doctor check everyone out. I joined the Reserves later, and we were all lined up in a row, in our skivvies, waiting for the doctor to show up. Turned out to be a woman who looked a lot like the gym teacher in Porkies. The old turn-your-head-and-cough routine was not pleasant that day.
VanPastorMan
Hall of Famer
There is longevity of life and then there is quality of life. If I had it done I would have to get new pants and therefore am not going there.Are you sure?
Men and other mammals live longer if they are castrated, says researcher
Cat Bohannon tells Hay festival audience it is not known why men go through life ‘smuggling two little death nuggets’
So true re quality. My outlaw grandfather in law is 90 and in a wheelchair and so miserable. Can’t do anything on his own. Makes my daughter sneak him beers
Sounds like he needs some blow.
VanPastorMan
Hall of Famer
May God bless him. At his age he shouldn't have to sneak a beer. But if he is in a nursing home I get it.
And limits the old man’s beers…. He needs your daughter to keep helping him
No at home but all kinds of health stuff so he shouldn’t be drinking. My daughter is an easy mark for bribes tho
Toughest guy I ever met. Chemical union organizer in the dakotas. Had a massive yard. He’d put one six pack on one end and another six pack on the other and finish them as he finished cutting the lawn.
Get this one doc. A few years back he went in for an endoscopy. He’d been taking prednisone for years and his esophagus was like tissue paper. Stuck the fckr right through it. Spent almost a year in the hospital. Endless surgeries etc. was awful.
Yikes. Esophageal rupture usually = death
Guy’s lived 9 lives. If he wants a few beers so be it. I imagine he’ll ask me to put cyanide in one soon
My father-in-law is 85 with some respiratory issues. He's lived alone since the fall of 21 when my MiL passed after beating cancer 3 times, but succumbing to alzheimers after 62 years of marriage. He's on O2 and inhalers. When I go out to visit, he wants me to fire up the grill and cook every dinner for the week I'm there. Wifey goes out out for a week or two before me. He gives her the list of things he wants on the Weber and will have a scotch afterward most nights. He doesn't drink scotch any other time.
My brother in law and his wife have a fit. I don't understand it. If the guy wants a single bratwurst twice/year and a single finger of scotch later that evening, I'm not telling him no.
Reminds me of when my dad was in assisted living in the final stages of Alzheimer’s back in early 2020. My mom would lose her shit when he engulfed bags of Snicker bars. I kept asking her why not???
It goes both ways. I hit the father in law lotto with him. Couldn't ask for a better guy to spend time with.
That’s how both my out law grandfather and great are. Ex wife is horrible but those two old goats are fantastic.
When I go, i want to be found with a bag of blow and a bag of snickers bars.
I'd die a very, very happy man then.
Doing the math on this one reminds me why you're the man.
Lol ex wife was 11 years younger and ex stoker was 21 years younger. The worst ever was the ex stoker’s good friend had a pool party at her friend’s dad’s house. And i immediately recognized the last name and just hoped it was a coincidence. Having to do anything with her friends was awful.
So we get over there and the mom and dad come to the door and my ex stoker starts to introduce me and the dad busts out laughing. He and I played for the same club team growing up 🤣🤣. Was at once fantastic and horrible
