David Koch: Billionaire Republican donor dies aged 79

[sglowrider]

Billionaire David Koch, a major donor to the Republican party, has died aged 79. He had been suffering from cancer.

The former majority owner of Koch Industries was ranked by Forbes below brother Charles as the 11th richest person in the world.

Together they had a huge influence on the conservative movement and bankrolled causes pushing for small government and a free economy.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49438682

 

[sglowrider]

News just in.

At Kochstein Castle, Kansas...

Aides Struggle To Stop Dozens Of Kerosene-Soaked Republicans From Lighting Selves Ablaze Atop David Koch’s Body

WICHITA, KS— Urging calm as the wailing conservative politicians jostled for a place at their deceased benefactor’s side, aides reportedly struggled Friday to prevent dozens of kerosene-soaked Republicans from lighting themselves ablaze atop David Koch’s body.

“I don’t want to keep living in a world without David Koch,” said former Wisconsin governor Scott Walker, one amongst a throng of weeping Republicans including Mike Pence, Ted Cruz, Rick Scott, and Mitt Romney who shoved past the other mourners for the privilege of setting fire to themselves and flinging their burning bodies onto the billionaire conservative activist’s corpse.

“Get the hell out of my way, Rubio—you know he loved me best! I should be on top of the body. Jesus Christ, David! David! Don’t go into the next life without me!”

At press time, attendants were forced to intervene with fire extinguishers after the entire Cato Institute board of directors piled onto the corpse at once and caused the blaze to rapidly spread across Koch’s enormous estate

 

[Aloha Hoosier]

News just in. At Koch Castle....

Aides Struggle To Stop Dozens Of Kerosene-Soaked Republicans From Lighting Selves Ablaze Atop David Koch’s Body

WICHITA, KS— Urging calm as the wailing conservative politicians jostled for a place at their deceased benefactor’s side, aides reportedly struggled Friday to prevent dozens of kerosene-soaked Republicans from lighting themselves ablaze atop David Koch’s body.

“I don’t want to keep living in a world without David Koch,” said former Wisconsin governor Scott Walker, one amongst a throng of weeping Republicans including Mike Pence, Ted Cruz, Rick Scott, and Mitt Romney who shoved past the other mourners for the privilege of setting fire to themselves and flinging their burning bodies onto the billionaire conservative activist’s corpse.

“Get the hell out of my way, Rubio—you know he loved me best! I should be on top of the body. Jesus Christ, David! David! Don’t go into the next life without me!”

At press time, attendants were forced to intervene with fire extinguishers after the entire Cato Institute board of directors piled onto the corpse at once and caused the blaze to rapidly spread across Koch’s enormous estate

I often like The Onion, but there really isn’t anything funny about that.

 

[Joe_Hoopsier]

I often think we should take the cooler national/ prime time. Best rational thinking person (read republican) recruiting tool anywhere.

Y’all don’t practice what ya preach.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

I often like The Onion, but there really isn’t anything funny about that.

Seriously?

 

[Aloha Hoosier]

Seriously?

Yes.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

This seems to be the current state of affairs. Sad.

https://www.newsweek.com/bill-maher-david-kochs-death-jokes-real-time-end-painful-1456028?amp=1

And you equate that with The Onion satirizing Republicans in the wake of his death?

I call BS. If Soros had died and The Onion satirized Democrats in the same way, you'd both find it hilarious.

 

[Bill4411]

I don't take the Onion article as making fun of Koch at all but rather of the swamp rats that were dependent upon him.

 

[IUclover]

And you equate that with The Onion satirizing Republicans in the wake of his death?

I call BS. If Soros had died and The Onion satirized Democrats in the same way, you'd both find it hilarious.

Trump certainly will if that were to happen, as he did with John McCain. But hey, he has the best policies and that makes it ok to support him.

 

[Marvin the Martian]

I don't like speaking ill of the dead, and if I thought that Onion was doing so I would criticize it. I think instead it is making fun of living conservatives who are still fair game.

I obviously did not like many of Koch's political views but I appreciated his views on getting rid of the box to help people with a previous conviction and I certainly find his views on not supporting Trump favorably.

 

[Standard Issue]

I don't like speaking ill of the dead, and if I thought that Onion was doing so I would criticize it. I think instead it is making fun of living conservatives who are still fair game.

I obviously did not like many of Koch's political views but I appreciated his views on getting rid of the box to help people with a previous conviction and I certainly find his views on not supporting Trump favorably.

I finally went and looked at the Onion piece.
It has nothing to do with the dead guy just the live ones.

 

[sglowrider]

I don't take the Onion article as making fun of Koch at all but rather of the swamp rats that were dependent upon him.

Precisely.

 

[Aloha Hoosier]

And you equate that with The Onion satirizing Republicans in the wake of his death?

I call BS. If Soros had died and The Onion satirized Democrats in the same way, you'd both find it hilarious.

Disappointing. It actually isn’t funny. Substitute Soros for Koch and throw a kerosene soaked HRC on the fire and it’s still not funny.

 

[Joe_Hoopsier]

Disappointing. It actually isn’t funny. Substitute Soros for Koch and throw a kerosene soaked HRC on the fire and it’s still not funny.

Wait, how do you find a Hillary on fire, not funny?

 

[mashnut]

Wait, how do you find a Hillary on fire, not funny?

@Aloha Hoosier @stollcpa does this hit as high on your outrage meter? If not, why?

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Disappointing. It actually isn’t funny. Substitute Soros for Koch and throw a kerosene soaked HRC on the fire and it’s still not funny.

Well, if by "not funny," you mean merely not a great joke, then sure, why not. Everyone's opinions can differ on humor. But you clearly meant "not funny" as something more like "inappropriate." If you didn't, you wouldn't find my disagreement with you "disappointing."

So I'm still calling BS. It might not have been the funniest satire in the world, but there was nothing inappropriate about it. And as Marvin and others astutely pointed out, the subjects of the satire are living Republicans, not dead ones.

 

[Aloha Hoosier]

@Aloha Hoosier @stollcpa does this hit as high on your outrage meter? If not, why?

I just said it wasn’t funny. I’m not outraged, I’m not amused.

 

[stollcpa]

I just said it wasn’t funny. I’m not outraged, I’m not amused.

Why waste your time?

 

[Aloha Hoosier]

Why waste your time?

I’m not. I’m out.