The Douchebag fantasy golf thread.
- Thread starter Eppy99
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Joke of The Day...
Tom called his friend in tears. “I can’t believe it,” he sobbed. “My wife left me for my golfing partner.”
“Get a hold of yourself, man,” said his friend. “There are plenty of other women out there. She wasn’t right for you.”
“Who’s talking about her?” Tom said. “He was the only guy that I could ever beat!”
Tom called his friend in tears. “I can’t believe it,” he sobbed. “My wife left me for my golfing partner.”
“Get a hold of yourself, man,” said his friend. “There are plenty of other women out there. She wasn’t right for you.”
“Who’s talking about her?” Tom said. “He was the only guy that I could ever beat!”
Joke of The Day...
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon.
Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied.
He slipped into his shoes and drove home. “Where have you been?” demanded his wife.
“Darling, I can’t lie to you. I’ve been having an affair with my secretary and we’ve been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock.”
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You liar! You’ve been playing golf!”
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon.
Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied.
He slipped into his shoes and drove home. “Where have you been?” demanded his wife.
“Darling, I can’t lie to you. I’ve been having an affair with my secretary and we’ve been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock.”
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You liar! You’ve been playing golf!”
We got the Players coming up next week. My plan is to still treat this as our 5th major. So we'll do a $10 entry. The big question is how many people? We've struggled filling 18 entries post Masters. This week I put out 18 so let's head into the Players with some momentum. @Hoops Cat @Foosier you guys planning to play the next couple weeks? @Jordan Wells are you interested in playing the Players next week? @mohoosier you want in next week? You
Your boy @Sam_Beishuizen won his first contest last week. Maybe your time is coming. I haven't been sending you invites to the non majors. If you ever want in on a week just let me know or I can include you in the weekly invites and you can pick when you want in.
I'll sit out most weeks but I'm forsure in on all the majors and I'll do the Players too.
Joke of the Day...
An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?”
“I’m Italian and I am a golfer,” says the old guy,” and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. Have a glass of vino, and all is well.”
“Well,” says the doctor, “I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?”
”Who said my Dad’s dead?”
The doctor is amazed. “You mean you’re 80 years old and your Dad’s still alive. How old is he?”
“He’s 100 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. “In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that’s why he’s still alive… he’s Italian and he’s a golfer too.”
“Well,” the doctor says, “that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Dad’s Dad? How old was he when he died?”
”Who said my grandpa’s dead?”
Stunned, the doctor asks, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?”
“He’s 118 years old,” says the old Italian golfer.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, “So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?”
“No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.”
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. “Getting married! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?”
”Who said he wanted to?”
An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?”
“I’m Italian and I am a golfer,” says the old guy,” and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. Have a glass of vino, and all is well.”
“Well,” says the doctor, “I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?”
”Who said my Dad’s dead?”
The doctor is amazed. “You mean you’re 80 years old and your Dad’s still alive. How old is he?”
“He’s 100 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. “In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that’s why he’s still alive… he’s Italian and he’s a golfer too.”
“Well,” the doctor says, “that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Dad’s Dad? How old was he when he died?”
”Who said my grandpa’s dead?”
Stunned, the doctor asks, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?”
“He’s 118 years old,” says the old Italian golfer.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, “So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?”
“No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.”
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. “Getting married! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?”
”Who said he wanted to?”
I'm in, as long as you don't call it "the fifth major" any more. Lol. That made up title just annoys me.
It's a two-man race this week. Myself (ssang) and dwerner22. That'll happen when only two people have all six of their guys make the cut while at the same time no one else has more than four make it on through to the weekend.
Of course, that two-man race is compounded even further when you consider that besides both lineups having all six of their guys make the cut, they also combine to sport the tournament leader, a guy sitting in 2nd, two more tied for 4th to go along with two more inside the top 10, one additional in the top 15 and yet another inside the top 20.
Of course, that two-man race is compounded even further when you consider that besides both lineups having all six of their guys make the cut, they also combine to sport the tournament leader, a guy sitting in 2nd, two more tied for 4th to go along with two more inside the top 10, one additional in the top 15 and yet another inside the top 20.
GOLF Thu 6AM EDT - $10 entry - 4/25 spots filled *** https://deeplink.me/draftkings.com/contest/draftteam/40626354
Invites are out! Trying to fill 25. We had 30 for Masters. Get in early so we can figure out if we have enough people. Gracias
Invites are out! Trying to fill 25. We had 30 for Masters. Get in early so we can figure out if we have enough people. Gracias
Comgrats @Timmy! for placing 11th in the big $4 176,000 entry contest. At one point he was in first for the big $100,000 prize but ended up taking home $1,000. Not bad for a $4 entry!
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