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The AOTF Murder Mystery Complete *Final chapter added*

I am the new Ovaltine. I haven't been drunk in quite a while. The fact that an opinion you make based upon a collection of thoughts about a piece of art is any different than myself gaining an opinion upon a collection of thoughts about a fermented liquid is ignorant at best.
I hate to say it, but Phish has a point. Making art and drinking beer is not a symmetrical comparison.
 
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I am the new Ovaltine. I haven't been drunk in quite a while. The fact that an opinion you make based upon a collection of thoughts about a piece of art is any different than myself gaining an opinion upon a collection of thoughts about a fermented liquid is ignorant at best.

Weakass reasoning. Not surprising though as imagination is a key ingredient of intelligence.

It takes imagination, talent and knowledge to make art. It takes none to look at it.

It takes imagination, talent and knowledge to make music. It takes none to listen to it.

It takes imagination, talent and knowledge to write. It takes no talent to read.

It takes imagination, talent and knowledge to MAKE beer. It's take NONE to DRINK it.

When you actually make a beer worth drinking then you have something worthy of bragging about. "I bought beer" is not. Unless you're 15.

Hay wait, you can make lemon poppy seed muffins, that takes some talent and knowledge, it's paint by number too, so no imagination required. So there you at least have one real talent. Quit hating ..
 
Weakass reasoning. Not surprising though as imagination is a key ingredient of intelligence.

It takes imagination, talent and knowledge to make art. It takes none to look at it.

It takes imagination, talent and knowledge to make music. It takes none to listen to it.

It takes imagination, talent and knowledge to write. It takes no talent to read.

It takes imagination, talent and knowledge to MAKE beer. It's take NONE to DRINK it.

When you actually make a beer worth drinking then you have something worthy of bragging about. "I bought beer" is not. Unless you're 15.

Hay wait, you can make lemon poppy seed muffins, that takes some talent and knowledge, it's paint by number too, so no imagination required. So there you at least have one real talent. Quit hating ..
I am the hater? #lulz
 
I hate to say it, but Phish has a point. Making art and drinking beer is not a symmetrical comparison.
Does he? He made the comparision to begin with.

Here's the earlier post..

"Please tell me how applying fking Van Dyke Brown to a piece of plastic that was injection molded in China is any way shape or form better than I bought a fking beer?"

So I tell him and then he changes a bit ....

For you ..
Do you think learning the ability to use a bottle opener took how many hours for a normal person? I'm talking normal average intelligence not someone C-$ stupid. Does it compare to how many hours you spent learning to write.

Do you think a monkey could learn to open and then drink a beer. Do you think a monkey could walk in a store and pay for beer. I do, if it were a bright ass monkey. Do you think a monkey could write a short story? There's a difference in the ability and knowledge needed to perform those tasks.

So after I tell him the difference the argument changes a bit...

"The fact that an opinion you make based upon a collection of thoughts about a piece of art is any different than myself gaining an opinion upon a collection of thoughts

That's a completely different argument ..

and one I haven't responded to because I never made it.

Plus I'm just trolling phish for kicks and he's trolling me back .. we know each other's buttons. The plastic "doll" was excellent bait... not bad for someone that lacks imagination, right?
 
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Does he? He made teh comparision to begin with.

Here's the earlier post..

"Please tell me how applying fking Van Dyke Brown to a piece of plastic that was injection molded in China is any way shape or form better than I bought a fking beer?"

So I tell him and then he changes a bit ....

For you ..
Do you think learning the ability to use a bottle opener took how many hours for a normal person? I'm talking normal average intelligence not someone C-$ stupid.

Does it compare to how many hours you spent learning to write. Do you think a monkey could learn to open and then drink a beer. Do you think a monkey could walk in a store and pay for beer. I do, if it were a bright ass monkey. Do you think a monkey could write a short story? there's a difference in the ability and knowledge needed to perform those tasks.

So after I tell him the difference the argument changes a bit...

"The fact that an opinion you make based upon a collection of thoughts about a piece of art is any different than myself gaining an opinion upon a collection of thoughts

That's a completely different argument ..

and one I haven't responded to because I never made it.

Plus I'm just trolling phish for kicks and he's trolling me back .. we know each other's buttons. The plastic "doll" was excellent bait... not bad for someone that lacks imagination, right?
Alright, you win.

400 f*cking replies to this thread, and not one of them says, "Good story, Goat."
 
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Alright, you win.

400 f*cking replies to this thread, and not one of them says, "Good story, Goat."
I'm backing your ass from your haterz! I may not be backing the story as of yet, but I am backing the ability to at a least do something.

I haven't read all of it yet. Jesus Christ .. It's been so long .. GRR... that I forgot what was in your last book and had to go back to the beginning.
 
I'm backing your ass from your haterz! I may not be backing the story as of yet, but I am backing the ability to at a least do something.

I haven't read all of it yet. Jesus Christ .. It's been so long .. GRR... that I forgot what was in your last book and had to go back to the beginning.
That's why I post all the parts. Ten years is a long time to publish a novella chapter by chapter and have people remember it.
 
Does he? He made the comparision to begin with.

Here's the earlier post..

"Please tell me how applying fking Van Dyke Brown to a piece of plastic that was injection molded in China is any way shape or form better than I bought a fking beer?"

So I tell him and then he changes a bit ....

For you ..
Do you think learning the ability to use a bottle opener took how many hours for a normal person? I'm talking normal average intelligence not someone C-$ stupid. Does it compare to how many hours you spent learning to write.

Do you think a monkey could learn to open and then drink a beer. Do you think a monkey could walk in a store and pay for beer. I do, if it were a bright ass monkey. Do you think a monkey could write a short story? There's a difference in the ability and knowledge needed to perform those tasks.

So after I tell him the difference the argument changes a bit...

"The fact that an opinion you make based upon a collection of thoughts about a piece of art is any different than myself gaining an opinion upon a collection of thoughts

That's a completely different argument ..

and one I haven't responded to because I never made it.

Plus I'm just trolling phish for kicks and he's trolling me back .. we know each other's buttons. The plastic "doll" was excellent bait... not bad for someone that lacks imagination, right?
Such an intolerable asshole...geez!
 
Phish writing a story. "Once upon a time, breh. I bought beer, and drank it".

M.T.I.O.T.F. "Once in a pon of time, the pubs found dem a seesaw and swung em sum truffs".

Scott the flaccid racist. "Once upon a time, back when men were men, and sheep were nervous, I could get a hard on."

Or something ...

Largemouth ?
Just a short attention span, that's all. It's probably wonderful. Tell me about in 20 words or fewer.
 
Nobody do this. If he lost the link, it means we are free.
I didn't lose it so much as Bloom changed it 47 times and I gave up on the Crean-hating circle-jerk. A sane person can only take so much of the self-fellating posts regurgitating the same, old, tired complaints. They play too fast!! He's orange! OMGz so funnay!
 
I didn't lose it so much as Bloom changed it 47 times and I gave up on the Crean-hating circle-jerk. A sane person can only take so much of the self-fellating posts regurgitating the same, old, tired complaints. They play too fast!! He's orange! OMGz so funnay!

orange-tongue.jpg
 
I didn't lose it so much as Bloom changed it 47 times and I gave up on the Crean-hating circle-jerk. A sane person can only take so much of the self-fellating posts regurgitating the same, old, tired complaints. They play too fast!! He's orange! OMGz so funnay!

Yeah, but you won't get an IC ring when Crean leaves.
Or even a part of the net.
Or a craft beer at the party.
And they won't play any of your favorite songs either.

So ...

Peegsters all over the world
Join hands
Start a love train
Love train

 
I didn't lose it so much as Bloom changed it 47 times and I gave up on the Crean-hating circle-jerk. A sane person can only take so much of the self-fellating posts regurgitating the same, old, tired complaints. They play too fast!! He's orange! OMGz so funnay!

Loopers 2.0

Irony
 
If I were to paint a plastic doll from china, it would take dexterity, coordination, an understand of light, an understanding of shadow, and an understanding of perspective.

These are terms used by artists and probably beyond the understanding of your pea brain.

ghey

fwiw - injection molded doll made of plastic from china? WTF are you prattling on about because you sound like an idiot. I paint on canvas. I sculpt. I don't sculpt in plastic. I generally use clay. Sometimes soft stone. Sometimes in epoxy. I don't paint my sculpts. I have gotten a few bronzed. I collect pewter miniatures. I don't paint them either.

as fack
 
FTR, I don't think it takes any intelligence, talent, or skill to slap some fking Van Dyke Brown onto a piece of plastic that was injection molded in China.
 
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FTR, I don't think it takes any intelligence, talent, or skill to slap some fking Van Dyke Brown onto a piece of plastic that was injection molded in China.

And yet you couldn't do it ... at least you're not a fking beer phag, so you have that going for you.

But still ..Loser
 
Great chapter, Goat.

I usually lurk like a champ around here, but have been on vacation. Coming back to this post was lovely. I admit to being fully confused about tomorrow's date significance and WTF is going on with that, but I'll just drink another beer and it'll all be clear, I'm sure.
 
Yes, I can finally claim to be better than George R. R. Martin in one respect: my magnum opus is complete. I will be posting the entire story in this thread, chapter by chapter, but I'll put chapter links in this first post, for people who want to skip ahead to the new parts.

Chapter 1: "Call Me Goat"
Chapter 2: "Aruss' Girl"
Chapter 3: "A String of Perverts"
Chapter 4: "A Girl, a Guy, and Something in Between"
Chapter 5: "The Conspiracy in the Diner"
Chapter 6: "Crossing the Border"
Chapter 7: "Trouble with an Old Geezer"
Chapter 8: "Special Delivery"
Chapter 9: "The Conspiracy Revealed"
Chapter 10: "It All Goes Tits Up"

That's it for the old stuff. New chapter coming in a few minutes.

And here it is:
Chapter 11: "Deus ex Machina" and Epilogue

Fin.
Good job. I enjoyed it.
 
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