Unit: Recon Team Bravo-SixForgot to mention Joe that your QRF will be staging out of Lejeune so don't expect any backup to be Johnny on the Spot... Just get Brad and get out... Also..., your OpSec may already be blown... There's reason to believe these communications are not secure...😳
Operator: JS
Mission: EXTRACTION: Target Brad
Location: Coastal Mountain Range, Unnamed State
Time: 1432L
Target Acquisition: Visual confirmation of Target Brad within a secured residence. Target is currently dressed in a three-tiered ensemble of pink Izod shirts, accessorized with a strategically placed quarter-zip and three ostentatiously popped collars. A distinctive eight-inch mullet, bisected by a bleach-blonde stripe, adorns his head, and visible nipple piercings complete the ensemble. Questionable Life Decision: Circumcision Status Unknown.
Environmental Factors:
- Wind: 130 degrees at 4 mph
- Humidity: 27%
- Barometric Pressure: 29.94 inHg
- Primary Threat: A coven of elderly felines, estimated age 53, have secured Target Brad.
- Secondary Threat: Internal conflict within the supporting unit. Intelligence suggests a clandestine relationship between 76-1 and a presumed minor, leading to a potential breach of operational security. Furthermore, rumors of an unconventional liaison between Goat and Bloom persist.
- Team Bravo-Six: Maintained operational readiness. Target is within the effective range of the 6.5 Creedmoor rifle. Awaiting the greenlight for extraction.
- Support Personnel: Aloha, in a state of advanced senility, is currently confined to an assisted living facility, intermittently mumbling political slogans and brand preferences.
- Expedite the exfiltration plan.
- Address the internal security threat posed by 76-1.
- Acquire psychotropic medication for Aloha to mitigate disruptive behavior.