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So I pissed all over the floor of the Noblesville O'Charleys

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Kookie4IU

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Aug 28, 2001
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How do you recover from that? How do you tell someone? Do you tell someone? How do you get over your feelings of guilt? First, an explanation...

As all of you assbags know, I took my new ride to get the windows tinted. The guy I use is up in Noblesville. It takes a good 2-3 hours to get windows tinted, and I didn't want to sit around for 3 hours in the lobby of an auto customizing shop. Therefore, I walked about a half-mile down to O'Charleys because the weather was nice and I was hungry.

So I go to O'Charleys and head into the bar to get a bite and watch the British Open. After awhile, I need to relieve myself, so I go into the bathroom. O'Charleys is nice in that they have the cool cork boards above the urinals that have the sports page hanging from them for patrons to read while relieving themselves. This is the first thing I notice, so I say to myself, "Great! I haven't read the paper this morning!" As I walk up to the urinal my eyes are fixed upon the sports page, and I begin reading.

Now, I'm really talented because I can pull out my stuff, begin to pee, and read the paper all at the same time. I get about halfway through, and I hear a strange noise. Apparently, O'Charleys had a midget (dwarf perhaps) design their mens room. The freaking urinal was apparently made for midgets or people with enormous dolfinguses. It's about 6 inches to a foot too low. To my horror, I find myself pissing all over the wall and top of the urinal. WTF?!? OMG! Crap! By this point, a good amount of pee is snaking its way towards the toilet stall. What to do?!? I hadn't paid any attention to if I was alone or not, and much to my shock I was not. Someone was dumping. Crap! I quickly finish while hitting the target, and immediately grab a bunch of paper towels to try to get the mess. However, the pee river is snaking its way towards the stall, and I don't want dude inside to be able to recognize my shoes. Therefore, a good portion of the pee cleanup is a lost cause. I also didn't want to get down in any sort of squatting postion, as that might be deemed as weird to the dumper. I quickly throw paper towels on what pee I can, which quickly becomes saturated. Now I can't pick it up, without having Moises Alou hands. So as I'm heading back to get more paper towels, the door opens and another dude heads to the other urinal. See above about the squating/crouching position while people are relieving themselves. I quicly realize its a lost cause, because otherwise I have to stand around and be "big dude standing around watching a guy pee" guy and then resume the cleanup. Weighing my options, I quickly wash my hands and leave.

I feel horrible.
 
This may very well be the first time I have EVER experienced the

Truly Laughing Out Loud to yourself while at work and possibly getting yourself in trouble for doing so!!

A true OTF HOF post. Someone save this for Goat

Kookie, *eye hart ewe*

WOW! I need to dry these tears!
 
WWJD?

He would have stayed and apologized to those in the bathroom as well as clean up the mess.

Rolo, is there an "Always with you" image of Jesus in the bathroom with a guy that's just urinated all over the floor?
 
just for a few seconds....

put yourself in the place of the guy in the stall. What would you do if you heard someone piss all over the floor and then hastily try to clean it up? i'd probably have started cracking up and make a sarcastic comment....because that's what i always do when i'm uncomfortable.


but more importantly, how's the El Camino? is it phat looking?
 
Urine trouble. If you're missin' where you're pissin' you must . . .

have early stages of CF. No, not cystic fibrosis, but coachfifeosis, a debilitating mental condition with no hope for recovery.
 
I'm still trying to decipher your spelling code thing below.

I'm sitting in the bleachers this afternoon and if Alou tosses a ball anywhere near me I am going to dive away from it like my life depends on it. I can just see my wife tying to catch it...like a slow motion movie scene...as the ball travels through the air I see her in line to catch it and I scream out "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo".


This post was edited on 7/16 10:41 AM
 
If you're missin when you're pissin, please be neat and wipe the seat.

Great story. I'm still LMAO.
 
He edited his post

then tried to make us look like the idiots.

then he posts about pissing all over the floor and ruins it!
 
Don't feel too bad...

I have a friend, we'll call him "Jay", who used to pee on the bar while ordering drinks. One hand dishing the cash, the other dishing the funk down the front of the bar. Unfortunately, it wasn't a one time incident either. Luckily the place was dark, and somehow, he never got caught.


So, take comfort in the fact that you did this accidentally, and that you aren't as socially inept as "Jay".


If IndyFro thinks hard enough about it, he'll know who I am talking about...
This post was edited on 7/16 10:52 AM
 
There's one about cigs, but I can't remember it.

Something about not putting butts in the toliet. Any help remember it?????
 
I knew a guy in college...

that used to pee under the booths in the back of Kilroys. He would pee into pitchers and then dump it behind the golden tee machine. I only witnessed it once, but he only did it when he was really drunk. I guess it was that, or pee your pants. Have you ever tried to walk to the bathroom from one end of kilroys to the other when it was crowded? Also, I sure hope they washed those pitchers good. You can't tell the taste difference between piss and Miller Lite anyway.
 
Yuck...Yeah - I'll never order another pitcher there.

This guy was really drunk when committong these transgressioms as well... and he did these things at Legends - if you've ever been there, you know it doesn't really matter though, lol. But reportedly he had done the same thing at the Video Saloon as well...
 
He'd walk on the urine and keep his sandals dry. Your shoes are

your problem.

My shoes, however, were under the stall. Kookie, you owe me a shoe shine.
 
Kookie brought his A game today...

great story. Can't help you out, my friend.
 
I swear to God, that same thing happened to me

minus another person in the hopper. I simply washed up and walked out. Luckily, I was about ready to leave the establishment anway.

Great story, Kookie.

-13
 
I'm ashamed to admit it, but when my Mother-in-Law was going

through her do-it-yourself ceramics phase, she made a plaster cast of a miniature toilet seat with this motto on it, painted it up with flowers and glitter, and proudly gave it to my wife for display.

I accidently dropped it and we forgot to mention it until she had given up on ceramics and could no longer make a replacement.
 
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