How do you recover from that? How do you tell someone? Do you tell someone? How do you get over your feelings of guilt? First, an explanation...
As all of you assbags know, I took my new ride to get the windows tinted. The guy I use is up in Noblesville. It takes a good 2-3 hours to get windows tinted, and I didn't want to sit around for 3 hours in the lobby of an auto customizing shop. Therefore, I walked about a half-mile down to O'Charleys because the weather was nice and I was hungry.
So I go to O'Charleys and head into the bar to get a bite and watch the British Open. After awhile, I need to relieve myself, so I go into the bathroom. O'Charleys is nice in that they have the cool cork boards above the urinals that have the sports page hanging from them for patrons to read while relieving themselves. This is the first thing I notice, so I say to myself, "Great! I haven't read the paper this morning!" As I walk up to the urinal my eyes are fixed upon the sports page, and I begin reading.
Now, I'm really talented because I can pull out my stuff, begin to pee, and read the paper all at the same time. I get about halfway through, and I hear a strange noise. Apparently, O'Charleys had a midget (dwarf perhaps) design their mens room. The freaking urinal was apparently made for midgets or people with enormous dolfinguses. It's about 6 inches to a foot too low. To my horror, I find myself pissing all over the wall and top of the urinal. WTF?!? OMG! Crap! By this point, a good amount of pee is snaking its way towards the toilet stall. What to do?!? I hadn't paid any attention to if I was alone or not, and much to my shock I was not. Someone was dumping. Crap! I quickly finish while hitting the target, and immediately grab a bunch of paper towels to try to get the mess. However, the pee river is snaking its way towards the stall, and I don't want dude inside to be able to recognize my shoes. Therefore, a good portion of the pee cleanup is a lost cause. I also didn't want to get down in any sort of squatting postion, as that might be deemed as weird to the dumper. I quickly throw paper towels on what pee I can, which quickly becomes saturated. Now I can't pick it up, without having Moises Alou hands. So as I'm heading back to get more paper towels, the door opens and another dude heads to the other urinal. See above about the squating/crouching position while people are relieving themselves. I quicly realize its a lost cause, because otherwise I have to stand around and be "big dude standing around watching a guy pee" guy and then resume the cleanup. Weighing my options, I quickly wash my hands and leave.
I feel horrible.
As all of you assbags know, I took my new ride to get the windows tinted. The guy I use is up in Noblesville. It takes a good 2-3 hours to get windows tinted, and I didn't want to sit around for 3 hours in the lobby of an auto customizing shop. Therefore, I walked about a half-mile down to O'Charleys because the weather was nice and I was hungry.
So I go to O'Charleys and head into the bar to get a bite and watch the British Open. After awhile, I need to relieve myself, so I go into the bathroom. O'Charleys is nice in that they have the cool cork boards above the urinals that have the sports page hanging from them for patrons to read while relieving themselves. This is the first thing I notice, so I say to myself, "Great! I haven't read the paper this morning!" As I walk up to the urinal my eyes are fixed upon the sports page, and I begin reading.
Now, I'm really talented because I can pull out my stuff, begin to pee, and read the paper all at the same time. I get about halfway through, and I hear a strange noise. Apparently, O'Charleys had a midget (dwarf perhaps) design their mens room. The freaking urinal was apparently made for midgets or people with enormous dolfinguses. It's about 6 inches to a foot too low. To my horror, I find myself pissing all over the wall and top of the urinal. WTF?!? OMG! Crap! By this point, a good amount of pee is snaking its way towards the toilet stall. What to do?!? I hadn't paid any attention to if I was alone or not, and much to my shock I was not. Someone was dumping. Crap! I quickly finish while hitting the target, and immediately grab a bunch of paper towels to try to get the mess. However, the pee river is snaking its way towards the stall, and I don't want dude inside to be able to recognize my shoes. Therefore, a good portion of the pee cleanup is a lost cause. I also didn't want to get down in any sort of squatting postion, as that might be deemed as weird to the dumper. I quickly throw paper towels on what pee I can, which quickly becomes saturated. Now I can't pick it up, without having Moises Alou hands. So as I'm heading back to get more paper towels, the door opens and another dude heads to the other urinal. See above about the squating/crouching position while people are relieving themselves. I quicly realize its a lost cause, because otherwise I have to stand around and be "big dude standing around watching a guy pee" guy and then resume the cleanup. Weighing my options, I quickly wash my hands and leave.
I feel horrible.
