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So Brittany Maynard died, apparently.

TheOriginalHappyGoat

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This has always been a weird one for me. I understand the desire to take control of the end of one's own life, but I (sadly?) feel like I'm the kind of guy who would hang on tooth and nail as long as possible. To me, "Death with Dignity" just means "Death."

Anyway, even I recognize this a brave young woman, and her stoicism and courage in the face of death certainly has given me things to think about.

goat

RIP
 
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Dignity Is Important

Soylent Green is PEOPLE!
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I'm not sure what being a "brave young women" in this context means

I have kown more than a few people who died after a disease process of weeks or months. 100% of those people died in prettty much the same way, with stoicism, peace, and calmness. Also an ovewhelming wish for their loved ones to not be distressed or burdened. Brittany Maynard didn't seem to be any different. She shortened the process. I'm guessing for her family more than herself.
 
I know quite a few people that didn't die

That way. They died agitated , not in their own mind, and with no sense of peace or calm. My father was one. But it wasn't his fault he wasn't able to die with dignity. I wish he'd had Brittany's option, although he still may not have chosen it.
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I think Lauren Hill gives me A LOT more to think about

Lauren Hill played her first, and possibly her last, collegiate basketball game this afternoon. They televised her game across the country, and 10,000+ tickets were sold. It was an incredibly moving and humbling experience to watch her game on TV today. No ashamed to say that tears welled in my eyes throughout the game. A special day.

And as Paul Daugherty writes in the piece linked below:


Impending death comes with its own clarity. It heightens appreciation, but not until after what we should have been loving all along has passed. Why don't we take the time, when we still have lots of it?

Lauren Hill will tell you she lived her dream Sunday. Lauren knows the wisdom of living fully in the moment, and she has the poise to actually pull it off. She wants you to know it, too.

Lauren Hill
 
Interesting juxtaposition of events

Of course Lauren Hill appears to have some time left (we hope) and who knows what awaits in that time. But the two young ladies present an excellent basis for discussing the topic of assisted suicide.

I know that some have deep religious convictions on it, and there is no way we can change their mind. But I think Maynard had it right, her cause of death was brain cancer and not suicide. She only chose the day that brain cancer killed her. Given that one of her symptoms was extreme headaches that meds couldn't prevent, I can't say I disagree with her choice. It isn't as if she was just going through a bad patch and time might present a way out. The problems were just going to worsen.

I honestly don't know what my reaction would be in her position, but I think how someone faces death should be left up to them. I'm not in favor of legalizing all suicides, but in the Kevorkian style cases I can't help but think we should allow the individual to decide when they have taken all the pain and suffering they wish to take.

As to Lauren Hill, first it is amazing the NCAA got it right in letting them move the game up. Second it is both a sad and uplifting story, an unusual combination. The interesting thing to me is my reaction to this story. I wonder how much of our reaction to her story is due to our age? I'm not sure I would have found it as "incredibly moving and humbling" (to steal your line) at 19 as I do now. I think there is something to getting older that makes life seem more precious. It may be that we no longer believe ourselves invincible, or maybe the reality our time is closer makes a difference, or maybe having children that age is the difference maker.

ESPN last week did a story on a North Carolina High School girl with MS. A story about her is here. In the ESPN story I thought they said her first love was soccer, but she had to give that up after the diagnosis. She wasn't a very good runner when that happened, but once she devoted herself to running her abilities improved to the point she won the state. If you can find the ESPN video, watch it. Very moving story. She can't feel her legs after she starts running, so she has to have her coach at the finish line physically catch her. Read that article, especially the last paragraph.
 
Re: Interesting juxtaposition of events


I agree with your post--every last word of it. I too do not think I would have reacted the same way when I was 19. Not only age, but also life has tenderized me. I'm not the same person I was at 19--no one should be the same person at 51 as they are at 19. If the are, then they've missed living for 30 years.

As for Kayla Montgomery, I am familiar with her. She is an absolutely amazing young woman. And the two photos in the linked article in your post are beautiful. Together they would make a really beautiful motivational poster. Even the title of the article, "Catching Kayla," is utterly perfect.

I know I have posted a Steve Prefontaine quote here a couple of times when discussing Lauren Hill. But it is so apropos...

"To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift."

And...

"Somebody may beat me, but they are going to have to bleed to do it."
 
one other thought about the juxtaposition of these two stories


I am struck by how none of the more mainstream news outlets appear to be comparing the two stories, even though both of these young women have/had incurable brain tumors and they chose two different routes (although not entirely). Perhaps it could be simply out of respect for the woman in Oregon and her family, and a reluctance to even attempt to make the comparison in a compassionate way. Heck, I'm not even sure how to compare the two stories without being unfairly critical of someone's very personal choice, made under circumstances that I'm not sure I can fully appreciate from afar.
 
It's an interesting contrast.

I don't necessarily fault either one of them for how they've handled their respective terminal illnesses. This is one of those things where most people, thankfully, just couldn't really understand.

I would say that, to me, Lauren Hill's handling is more uplifting and inspiring than Brittany Maynard's. But, then, these are their lives and their choices to make.

What rubbed me the wrong way about Brittany Maynard's "death with dignity" is that she chose to make it such a cause celebre. Every time I'd see a story about her, I found myself thinking "So why are you telling us all about it? Get on with it, already. Or don't. But it's your life, and thus your death....why involve the rest of us?"

Of course, I told my wife that and nearly got exiled to the sofa for a few nights for it. Won't make that mistake again.
 
Re: It's an interesting contrast.


I agree with you to some extent regarding Ms. Maynard choosing to make her case a cause célèbre. I have wondered whether, in doing so, she made it almost impossible to change her mind (at least in her own perception of things). We lost a very close and dear friend to pancreatic cancer a few years ago. When she made the decision not to continue fighting what was clearly a losing battle, she felt a bit ashamed that she was giving up. It was heart-wrenching, particularly since she had a 9 year old son who watched his father die in front of him when he was 2. I have always prayed that her family and friends were able to convince her that she had no reason to feel ashamed, and that she was leaving behind an army of people (including her husband) who would ensure that her son led a blessed and wonderful life.

As for Lauren Hill, there will likely come a day when she too makes the decision not to continue fighting. It will not make anyone think any less of her, nor can it possibly tarnish all that she has accomplished in just 19 years.

And, if Ms. Hill does indeed make that decision, I will view her decision to forgo further treatment differently than I do Ms. Maynard's decision to end her life. I'm not sure why, but in my mind they seem very different.
 
I saw her interview on Youtube and she was just very comfortable...

...with the fact that she didn't want to die the "horrible" way she was told by her doctors she probably would, should the cancer be left to its own devices and she died "naturally". I probably wouldn't have the balls to do what she did, but she said she was going to listen to her favorite music, have the few people she cared about most in the world around her bedside and then take the medicine that would put her to sleep and then pass away peacefully.

Death is sad. I think she dealt like it about as strongly as humanly possible. (possible grammatical errors in preceding sentence)
 
Goat, this is something that I have considered for many years and I keep coming out at the same point: why should I have to endure pain or the diminution of mental capacity or accept the inevitability of pain killers which overcome sensibility when I can do something for myself which is as humane as what I would do for a pet which is suffering? My best friend from law school lives in Portland, and he and I have discussed this only fleetingly, mainly because he hasn't come to his own conclusion, but in my own mind I know what I prefer and I have conveyed that to my kids(now co-executors and co-trustees with power of attorney for health care decisions). The experience of a lawyer friend who melted into the clutches of ALS for an incredible two and a half years is something I will never forget and something which shapes my own views for myself. The Oregon statutory process is one which has several safeguards, and I seem to recall that only some 40% of the cases submitted to a particular agency or board have been approved, but that is where I would choose to go if circumstances made it appropriate. Still, this is not an easy matter to consider.
 
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