A previously unknown Greenlandic resistance base has been revealed to be in existence only yards outside the current perimeter of Space Force Base Pituffik (also known as: the "worst posting in the world" and formerly referred to as Thule Air Base)...
Vice President Vance's young son Ewan, in a mission previously only known to himself, two frantic staffers and a nearly hypothermic Secret Service Agent, revealed that the government of Canukistan has clandestinely, sneakily, weasely, and underhandedly been training local Greenlanders in the both construction and stockpiling of Ice Core Snowballs 🙉😳🙉...
The young lad skillfully slipped past his briefly inattentive handlers to move towards the sound of sled dogs somewhere out in the ice fog only to discover this dastardly attempt by Canukastanian Special Operators to Ready a future Breach point of the Pituffik Perimeter while armed with the type of snowball that violates all known norms and treaties currently in force planetwide...: the dreaded Ice Core Snowball...!
Ewan (in the Finest Traditions of a kid whose dad is a Marine), on his own initiative and at great risk to himself, and the future promotional opportunities of his handlers and Security Staff; not only discovered the hidden Base but brought back cell phone photos (of the Ice Core Snowball Stockpiles), three of the Ice Balls themselves, and in an extremely bold move, a Scarlet Maple Leaf unit insignia patch taken from the shoulder of one of the Canukian parkas that had been temporarily laid aside while its owner was shoveling snow...
After having inspected the enemies dog sled teams and realizing that he may soon be discovered given the rapidly changing climatic conditions (and also realizing that if he didn't return soon he'd be Grounded For Life), Ewan skillfully and stealthily, successfully retraced his steps to and thru the Pituffik Security Perimeter and rejoined his detail...
The determination of whether to award young Ewan a recognition of his Valor or just give him a good chastisement is still being evaluated by his mother... His staffers and security detail have reportedly remained at Pituffik to "receive more Cold Weather Training"...
Protests are currently being officially lodged at the United Nations and The Hague in regard to the discovery of the ICE CORE snowball violations...
This episode more clearly delineates the despicable lengths that our enemies will stoop to... Constant Vigilance is the only answer...
It's been rumored that Headquarters Marine Corps may hold some type of recognition ceremony for Ewan (after his mom calms down)...
🇺🇸😎🇺🇸
***April Fools !*** 4/1/25
🍺🇺🇸🍺
This concept was unabashedly Stolen from a recent Babylon Bee headline... (so sue me if you can find me 😉)... My Defense will be: "Hey, it worked for Joe Biden..." (rampant plagiarism)
Vice President Vance's young son Ewan, in a mission previously only known to himself, two frantic staffers and a nearly hypothermic Secret Service Agent, revealed that the government of Canukistan has clandestinely, sneakily, weasely, and underhandedly been training local Greenlanders in the both construction and stockpiling of Ice Core Snowballs 🙉😳🙉...
The young lad skillfully slipped past his briefly inattentive handlers to move towards the sound of sled dogs somewhere out in the ice fog only to discover this dastardly attempt by Canukastanian Special Operators to Ready a future Breach point of the Pituffik Perimeter while armed with the type of snowball that violates all known norms and treaties currently in force planetwide...: the dreaded Ice Core Snowball...!
Ewan (in the Finest Traditions of a kid whose dad is a Marine), on his own initiative and at great risk to himself, and the future promotional opportunities of his handlers and Security Staff; not only discovered the hidden Base but brought back cell phone photos (of the Ice Core Snowball Stockpiles), three of the Ice Balls themselves, and in an extremely bold move, a Scarlet Maple Leaf unit insignia patch taken from the shoulder of one of the Canukian parkas that had been temporarily laid aside while its owner was shoveling snow...
After having inspected the enemies dog sled teams and realizing that he may soon be discovered given the rapidly changing climatic conditions (and also realizing that if he didn't return soon he'd be Grounded For Life), Ewan skillfully and stealthily, successfully retraced his steps to and thru the Pituffik Security Perimeter and rejoined his detail...
The determination of whether to award young Ewan a recognition of his Valor or just give him a good chastisement is still being evaluated by his mother... His staffers and security detail have reportedly remained at Pituffik to "receive more Cold Weather Training"...
Protests are currently being officially lodged at the United Nations and The Hague in regard to the discovery of the ICE CORE snowball violations...
This episode more clearly delineates the despicable lengths that our enemies will stoop to... Constant Vigilance is the only answer...
It's been rumored that Headquarters Marine Corps may hold some type of recognition ceremony for Ewan (after his mom calms down)...
🇺🇸😎🇺🇸
***April Fools !*** 4/1/25
🍺🇺🇸🍺
This concept was unabashedly Stolen from a recent Babylon Bee headline... (so sue me if you can find me 😉)... My Defense will be: "Hey, it worked for Joe Biden..." (rampant plagiarism)
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