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I confess to...

D

dolfingus

All-American
Mar 21, 2002
8,023
0
36
1.) paying for a hooker.
2.) dancing almost naked for women.
3.) Lying to girls to get sex
4.) Masturbation
5.) Thinking I was going to die from being too stoned
6.) Doing a REALLY fat chick
7.) Driving through the Castro district to laugh at the Village People wannabes
8.) Throwing a penny off the fake Eiffel Tower in kings island.
9.) Spitting off the fake Eiffel Tower in kings island.
10.) Seriously considering taking a dump off the fake Eiffel Tower in kings island. (at night)
11.) Ram-rodding the wrong hole on purpose ( the girl was a bitch so thats how I justified it.)


Ahhh...i feel better....your turn.
 
Can beat that.

1. Went to a Petula Clark concert -- in order to get laid.
 
laughing my ass off at this post.

The meanest thing I've ever done to my wife was, while she was facing me on a dining room chair straddling me, reaching around to click the mouse to update a baseball score on my computer sitting behind her.

Oops. Put that fire out quickly.
 
I think my fantasy

is to receive helmet while playing XBOX live video games. It'd be great to make the excuse that I suck because I'm sucked when getting killed over and over again playing HALO.
 
I'm laughing thinking of you

talking smack to some random 14 year old online.

"Dude, you're awful at this game. I've killed you 7 times."

"Well, that's because *insert graphic explaination here*"

"Oh."
 
I confess too:

1) Thinking I was going to die of laughter after I took shrooms
2) Putting at least 2 chicks in the bowling position
3) Sticking it in the ex's one way street
4) Nailing a chubby chick with huge boobs that I met on an internet, after she flew up from Georgia Southern to see me
5) French kissing a stripper while she was on stage
6) Masturbating while driving
7) Taking a half a hit of acid
8) Getting a BJ while driving a manual transmission
9) Having a drawer full of "toys"
10) Getting pissed off at a bill collector and calling him the "N" word in a fit of rage. Hilarity.
 
Holy crap.

this thread is absolutely unreal.

My guess is this could be the new 12/10.
 
Re: I confess to...(edit)

First, your list:

2.) dancing almost naked for women. (I was drunk and did it for free)
3.) Lying to girls to get sex
4.) Masturbation
6.) Doing a REALLY fat chick

Now my list:

1) Driving Drunk while in High School.
2) Cheating on past girlfriends with one night stands.
3) Liking Disco when I was in grade school.
4) Sleeping at work when my boss has been out of town or in long meetings.
5) Going to work extremely drunk and then go home blaming it on an upset stomach.
6) Picking up some strangers camera at Great America and running out the roll of film taking pictures of girls arses and putting the camera back.
7) Changing my disciplanary section of my 6th grade report card to report less trouble than I really was in for the year.


After reading stunned's, I remembered a few more:


8) Masturbating in my car on the side of the road after a date

9) Oral pleasure while driving my car

10)spitting tobacco juice in someone's beer and letting them drink it

11) Kicking the hell out of cab after he almost hit me....then ran like hell!

This post was edited on 7/20 12:07 PM by billydjr90if(GetAdminCookie() != 0) {document.write(' (Revisions[/URL])');}
This post was edited on 7/20 12:07 PM by billydjr90if(GetAdminCookie() != 0) {document.write(' (Revisions[/URL])');}
 
thats how mine was too...

I bet people behind me thought my alignment was shot after the car jerked to the left.
 
Think you could see your way to pardoning Kurt? That could generate...

..some truly interesting confessions.

Have mercy on the lost brother.
 
Yeah - it'd be fun holding that over those kids who play those games

8 hours a day and have never seen a girl naked.

My friend talks trash to them about that stuff. Thing is, the dude's never had a seriuos girlfriend himself, so I get a kick out of him saying that stuff.
 
After the kid's trip to Kings Island I was telling him . . .

the reason why they couldn't take their drinks up the tower was because really stupid kids might throw them over and if it hit someone it will kill them 300 feet below. Now I can use you as an example of what will happen if you do it.

I confess to:

1. Looking at other women, even during our honeymoon.
2. Driving 106 mph - at age 16 on the day I got my license to drive.
3. Googling my former bosses in an attempt to plot revenge.
4. Stalking Angela Buchman at the festival.
5. Padding my consulting hours billed.
6. Helping my college roommate cheat on his Accounting final at IU.
7. Purposely speed up to cut off others in traffic who don't use signals.
8. Raising my voice too quickly when the kids won't behave.
9. Running up the score (18-2 or so) in one soccer game last season because the other coach was an idiot and he deserved to lose big.
10. Being mean to CF**.
11. Peeking in the neighbor girl's bedroom window when I was a freshman in HS and she was a senior.

Wow, coming up with 11 confessions is surprisingly easy.
 
every male has done something like that....

i mean why can't chicks let us be completly happy. i mean getting some sort of sexual favor while watching sports is the ultimate dream.

this past Jan 1, we were doing a deed when i turned the TV to the start of the Rose Bowl. luckially she was so into it, she never noticed me.
 
You're a filthy sinner...

Of course, in some societies, you'd also qualify to be king... just goes to show you I guess...

I am not confessing to anything.
 
Oh, i have ran from the cops 3 times

and escaped.

I once told a mongloid it was okay to masturbate in public and he took it to heart and whacked it in the mall.
 
Oh, he'll find his way back.

He always does.

And if he sees this thread, you know he'll be all over it.
 
CJ's confessions . . .

that he won't share:

1. Smoked crack with Marion Berry in '89.
2. Only works about 13 hours per week but the taxpayers compensate him for 40.
3. Bought the smallest glasses possible because the girl at Ossip told him it made him look taller.
4. Secretly voted for Bush because the inheritance tax issue is close to his heart.
5. Shopped for Suburbans and Hummers but settled for a Scion since that's the only thing that would fit in his garage.
 
lmao!!!

Safety! Chad loses.
This post was edited on 7/20 12:13 PM by CF**if(GetAdminCookie() != 0) {document.write(' (Revisions[/URL])');}
 
1) Trying to pay for a hooker. They never called back.
2) Stealing $15,000 out of a joint account to pay for drugs.
3) Breaking into a car across the street from the county jail because there were drugs in the car.
4) Shoplifting then returning goods to buy a Super Nintendo.
5) Masturbating at my old job
6) Running a stop sign because I was drunk and was being "pleasured."
7) "Accidently" finishing on a girls face.
8) Puking on a guy's driver's side door handle cause I didn't like the way he parked.
 
I've done that too...

just bored on a long drive from South Bend back to Bloomington one Sunday afternoon.
 
You damn liar!...

1) It wasn't Marion Berry! I've never once met... wait... okay... Marion Berry doesn't remember me!

2) I don;t HAVE a garage!

Gimme back my damn diary... jerkwad!
 
On the right side of sober now...

still drink on occasion, though. Never been arrested, either.

My name was on the joint account, so no crime there.
 
I think I can play too.

1.) Cheating on the ACT. The chick I cheated off of was an honors student. My councelor didn't believe my scores were acutally 'my scores'.
2.) Going to school my last day of HS drunk
3.) Running from the cops in my car. And getting away.
4.) Hooking up with a chick in one apartment when my girlfried was across the hall at a party. (Told her I was going to take a leak)
5.) Five knuckle shuffle while driving and talking on a cell phone.
6.) Stealing a case of beer from a fraternity - and not realizing that I was being watched by some of the brothers as I was putting it in my overnight bag.
7.) pleasuring a chick in the back seat of the van........while my parents were driving.
8.) Hit and run (a car not a person)
 
Ouch... dude... you MIGHT be worse than me...

Maybe not worse, just different...

I salute the fact you're still around... as well as the fact that I am. We survived.
 
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