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I am feeling so down today. Having a hard time with this.

Guy_Fawkes

Senior
Oct 3, 2012
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I'm shocked. I'm heartbroken. I'm mad at a world that would take someone as good as Andy away from us but mostly I'm just very sad and can't quit crying when I read this board. This is Andy's board and I do hope it is named after him. He would have loved all the older posters turning up. He'd call it "a banner day for the OTF". *sniff*

When I first came to the OTF it was Andy who welcomed me, (yes blame him) everyone else was mean. (Imagine that) We were both Deadheads, and had a love of all music in common. It was Andy who showed me the ropes, and over the last ten years we talked here, and emailed back and forth and developed a friendship.

My fondest memories of him will be the nights where we were bored and Andy, Zizkov and I, would talk about and post Grateful Dead songs for each other. The last time I talked to him was on the IC, where he posted a version of Scarlet Begonias asking what I thought of it. It really was a great version. He liked calling me Chuck, and only because he knew it irritated me. I was busy and barely answered him. I wish to God I had that moment back. Life and friendship are precious. It's sad that it's something like this that reminds me how precious they truly are.

Recently he hasn't posted much, and we didn't email as much but he was learning to live again after divorce. So it was expected. He was busy, plus his dickhead former BIL ratted on him for posting here during work hours. What really tears me up was that he was so worried about being 40 and single again. I told him life begins at 40, and that he would be fine. *sniff*, He was just recently getting his head straight and enjoying life again. The timing couldn't be worse, he deserved more. Much more. This saddens me the most. 40 is way too young, especially for someone that loved life and brought so much happiness to others.

So, these songs are for you my brother. All of them remind me of you. They were songs we both loved, or talked about or ones you turned me on to. I will miss our conversations, I will miss trading tunes with you, but mostly I'll just miss you being around.

Farewell Andy, my friend, my brother, may you find peace. Thank you for this board, for all your kind words, and all the good times we shared. fwiw - I made sure not to include Donna in any dead songs since we both hated her shrilling and so you don't have to post "DONNA SUCKS!" ... *crying*.

Digital Underground - The Humpty Dance
GNR - Mr Brownstone
CRB - Sugaree
GD - Scarlet/Fire
Sarah Harmar - Oleander
Joss Stone - Son of a Preacher Man
Blind Melon - No Rain
Bon Jovi - Ride Cowboy Ride

and of course

GD - Not Fade Away.

*sniff*

DONNA SUCKS!
 
+1

His BIL ratted him out? If anyone sees that douche at the wake, punch him in the face for me.

As I mentioned yesterday, I've only connected with a few posters outside of the forum, but Andy and I exchanged many e-mails and he was an open book about pretty much everything. I saw his FB posts when he was in Chicago with his new woman and he seems happier than he had been in years. He posted a great picture of his family on Thanksgiving, just a sad, sad loss.
 
I'll post what I've posted elsewhere since it's getting difficult


Andy and I met a couple of times in Columbus, and we chatted on Facebook and by email fairly often. In fact, we hooked up for a beer at BW3 about two weeks before he found out his wife was a C U N T B A G. At the time, he stopped in and met me and my wife. He apologized that his wife was busy doing something and I joked that she was banging the neighbor. I was ready to puke when she dick punched him soon after.

Andy was one of those guys that just had the ability to facilitate. It was his demeanor as much as anything. He could tell you something that needed to be said, but without the rough edges that usually cause the burn.

And the guy didn't deserve the hell that he went through with his family. He really went into a dark place. When I heard about his passing, I assumed the worst, even though I know things had been better lately and he seemed to have weathered the storm. For that reason, I'm glad to hear that he died a natural death, because he always struck me as the kind of person who could make the rest of the world at ease and yet couldn't be consoled by others.

His passing hits me hard. I didn't realize just how high of regard I had for him because he was such a self-effacing person. Now that he's gone, the world is a little bit darker for the loss.

This post was edited on 12/3 12:19 PM by Homercles
 
effacing

nit-picky, but don't you mean self-effacing (or something) instead of self-aggrandizing. I'm not a grammar nazi, but in this case they have the opposite meaning.


Otherwise, well said.
 
You mentioned a natural passing...

If you don't mind me asking, how'd he die?
 
Yes - corrected

Yes I did mean exactly that. So I fixed it.

Now we need to ask Peegs for a special day allowing nipples in honor of Andy, since his hate of nipples was just one more of his self-effacements....
This post was edited on 12/3 12:21 PM by Homercles
 
For Andy

o-NIPPLE-570.jpg
 
I don't know about his former brother-in-law, but his former

father-in-law is a great guy. I would hate to think how much golf the former f-i-l and I have played together over the years.
 
Yeah... I hardly slept last night...

And it's been hard to concentrate today.
So I left work early.

I thought maybe by working and keeping busy would help but I couldn't be further from the truth.
 
Right there with you as I trudge like a zombie through my day

Everything you say is true. He had his life back on track and was truly happy again.

I've known Aruss since preschool. I still can't wrap my head around it and seeing the link for the visitation made it hit home even more.

I honestly had tears in my eyes at the IU game last night because I knew how much he loved those game and the popcorn lol It was the toughest game I've attended at IU, besides the first one after my mom died.

I'll never listen to GNR without thinking of him.

This board accompanied by all the FB posts is gut wrenching. My soul hurts to the core.
 
I taught 5 classes today.....

but I have no idea what we did.

I finished work and went to a bar and had a couple beers. I cried as I read the OTF.

I miss my friend. He was always supposed to be there to answer my e-mails.

I have trouble coming here.

WTF!
 
I hear ya brotha...

I've choked up a couple times myself last couple days.

The IU game last night suddenly doesn't mean so much now.
 
Yes,

We were watching the game on DVR so we don't come here until after the game is over.

I saw it and looked at Moops and was just like omg...omg...Aruss died. He thought it was a joke and I told him no it wasnt.

No longer cared for the game at all. I cried. He was quiet and a little bleary-eyed.

This post was edited on 12/3 1:56 PM by IUhottie
 
I was as subdued at the game as I've ever been

I think I stood up maybe twice and clapped a few times. Just wasn't into it at all. Mostly had to keep fighting back the tears.
 
Blind Melon

This post is buried now, but your mention of Blind Melon made me think of this song. It got a bit fcuked out back in the day but if it's been a while it's a good listen. It's sad and a little happy at the same time. In other words, perfect for today. RIP NFA.






This post was edited on 12/3 10:45 PM by FrankTGucker

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