I go into zero, I repeat ZERO detail about the actual tug. I'm fu*cked up but I'm not THAT ****ed up. You're assuming I wrote that as if it were 50 shades of Masturbation or some shit. Don't worry, I didn't, and it's not. Ain't even close to that.
Historical Reminder: Why NEVER to Acquiesce to the Tom Crean Regime
- Thread starter Timmy!
- Start date
I go into zero, I repeat ZERO detail about the actual tug. I'm fu*cked up but I'm not THAT ****ed up. You're assuming I wrote that as if it were 50 shades of Masturbation or some shit. Don't worry, I didn't, and it's not. Ain't even close to that.
I worked at Menards between college and law school. My boss at the time said one of the happiest days of his life was when he figured out he could jerk off sitting down. He said up to that point he had been laying on his bathroom floor. I laughed my ass off for days at that.
How does someone that dumb make it into management?
/furiously sells all Menards stock
More importantly, Foosier is a lawyer?
Reading their posts I thought Foosier was an 8th grader.
Wow. Maybe getting a JD isnt special, I just thought all it took was selling your soul Except for Hoosier Grandaddy, he's cool.
You're absolutely right, my humblest of apologies. Ask and you shall receive. Here you go, I picked out an eclectic group for you. Defend away
To be honest, law school was the most difficult thing I've ever done.
Getting into law school, however, was dreadfully easy, which is a major problem, and the main reason we have too many damn lawyers.
I'm so smart I know the difference between plural and singular. Reading YOUR posts I gave you credit for a GED. Perhaps I was too generous. However, I sometimes still act like an 8th grader. Unlike GOAT, I didn't find law school that hard.
Dude, you whackin' off with soap is giving a bad name to the rest of us white sox fans.
Nice start by the southsiders btw.
Jesus. It was ONE time, over 20 years ago, when I was 15. It was a bad decision that I lived to immediately regret. But I did learn one valuable lesson from it. That lesson being....
Never do that again
And I haven't
As for the White Sox, solid start for sure. I'm still a ways away from feeling good about them as a .500 ball club this year, let alone as a contender in the AL Central. I will say, however, I do sense a spark in the club that I hadn't Seen from them in years. Robin Ventura is still the Tom Crean of the majors, minus the shitty hair cut and Autistic OCD-like pant-adjusting, so the new life that's evident in the ball club definitely has nothing to do with him.
For my money, I chalk up the reinvigoration of the team to the NON-presence of that 14 year old Virgin-f*ck, Drake LaRoche, this year. A few weeks back Adam Eaton tweeted that Drake was a "leader" in the clubhouse. A 14 year old kid...in a major league clubhouse...amongst grown-ass men...a leader!? Adam Eaton is a f*ucking moron. I don't care what anybody says, kid was a goddamn cancer.
That said, now that he's gone, I think it's great he's attending school now. Being a freshman in high school has gotta be tough when you're just now finally learning how to read. Hopefully he gets pummeled by his peers.
It's shit like Adam Eaton's idiotic tweets, and a shirtless William Ligue along with his shirtless son running onto the field and beating up umpires, and the organization allowing a 14 year old kid to have his own locker and travel with the team, home & away 24-7-162, that gives us Sox fans a bad name.
Me jerking off once with hand soap when I was 15, shiiiiiiiit, that's harmless. Only thing that hurt was the pride & joy in between my legs.
Last edited:
You know, we've been cursed with an ESPN radio station that signed a contract with the Sox instead of the Cubs, so I have to listen to Ventura talking pregame all the time.
Crean is a good comparison. Dude is dumb as a box of rocks.
You can't pick up the Score for Cubs games? 670 am. I would think you should be able to.
Because it is well known that you will be promoted to your level of incompetence. Everyone is put into a position where you can't really F@ck up anymore shit that someone else can't fix. I think this is why 90% of America is in their respective positions.
After a 15 month stent of total leadership break down in our company recently, I finally had all I could take. Had a meeting were I finally used "f@ack you" to a director level person for allowing this to even me brought back up for the 4th time today (that day). It got insane, quickly.......... 2 weeks later, a VP and Director suddenly left the company to pursue other carriers...
This was a happy day for me......
This format sucks.
Have you ever had a manager? The unicorn isn't the dumb ones, it's the competent one that actually has the awareness, and leadership qualities, needed to manage.
Until you posted this I hadn't even picked up on the irony of the name, but now that you mention it, yeah, that's amazing.
As far as it's dual purpose is concerned, "Hanz De Fuko"....yup, couldn't have been named anything more fitting than that!
I assume you were reminded of this while masturbating with soap.
Ha! Great Bump! I had completely forgotten about this thread that I tossed out there a little over a year ago. Still haven't tried the soap-jerk since that fateful day. Not-a-once.
As for the IM convo I posted, my friend has long come to his senses since then. Happy to have him back after his brief stint of being in a dark, dark place.
Furthermore, praise be Allah that it's all moot now anyway seeing that we've since had the Clapmaster replaced, and not just simply replaced, but replaced with a total and unequivocal stud of a basketball coach
But, most importantly, I’m glad this thread got bumped. Because no one should ever, and I mean ever, have to go through what I went through that day and the handful of days that immediately followed back in the summer of ’95. Bumping this thread serves as reminder that no man should ever allow hand-soap anywhere near his dick-hole. Urethras and soap, they just do not mix. They are not agreeable. Like at all. That shit ain’t no joke.
So I just described this thread to the wife. A man masturbating with soap is more painful than child birth.
She said, paaaleaseeee.
I said you've never seen a happy man after masterbateing with soap but I've seen several women ecstatically happy after child birth.
I'm sleeping on the coach.
She said, paaaleaseeee.
I said you've never seen a happy man after masterbateing with soap but I've seen several women ecstatically happy after child birth.
I'm sleeping on the coach.
This post makes my annoying Purdue friend seem less annoying somehow. You lost me when describing your masturbation issues. Thank you for not posting since 2001!
Everyone else who hangs round these parts seems to enjoy the humorous nature of the post/thread. My guess is you'd find it funny too if it weren't for the homophobia your response seems to indicate that you may be harboring, and as a result, which seems to be forcing your sense of humor to a screeching halt. Here's a news flash for you - Getting a chuckle from the misfortunes of one's jerk session doesn't make you effeminate. It's okay, you can laugh. No one's going to question your manhood. I mean after all, you have a formula one race car as your icon. You're covered.
Similar threads
