Friday Funnies

[sdhoosier]

A farmer’s boy woke up and went to the kitchen to get breakfast. The mother told him that he would get it after his chores were done. He stomps out angrily and heads out to clean the chicken. While going about it, a chicken pecks him and he kicks it. He goes to the pigsty and when one pig knocks him, he knocks it back.

He went ahead to milk their cow and while close to finishing, the cow kicked the bucket and spilled the milk. He kicked the cow too. The mother saw everything and told him no eggs because he kicked the chicken. No bacon because he kicked the pig and no milk because he kicked the cow too.

While in the house, he saw his dad come down the stairs and when a cat almost tripped him, he kicked it. The boy looked at the mother and said, ‘‘should I tell him or you will?’’




and a chick.....

 

[sdhoosier]

 

[dr.jb]

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that their 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.

Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she tells her lover to hide in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

A couple weeks pass and it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are again in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "I'll tell."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!"

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "Yeah, how much did you get for them?"
The son says, "$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Oh, no, don't start that shit again."