Friday Funnies

[sdhoosier]

A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician did the same tricks each week.

However, there was a problem, the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting out the secrets in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat." "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table." "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything, it was, after all, the captain's parrot.

One day, the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself with the parrot, adrift on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, then another, and another.

Finally, after a week, the parrot said, "Okay, I give up. Where the heck is the boat?"






and a chick....

 

[Warison]

Those are perfect.

 

[Joe_Hoopsier]

Which one of you gutless, boob loving pieces of crap band me from the cooler without having the balls to tell me who you are? I suspect it's Goat. Show your face you pathetic wimp. @TheOriginalHappyGoat

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Which one of you gutless, boob loving pieces of crap band me from the cooler without having the balls to tell me who you are? I suspect it's Goat. Show your face you pathetic wimp. @TheOriginalHappyGoat

It's not possible to ban someone from a single forum, dumbass.

 

[Joe_Hoopsier]

It's not possible to ban someone from a single forum, dumbass.

Ok Failed law student. Revoked my posting privileges from one forum, Nazi. That Better? You know damn well what I am talking about, own it or deny it. But your answer tells me what I already knew. You won't own it, you will only hide. I said nothing that was not 100% true, and quoted the other poster. It was their words, not mine. Prick.

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Ok Failed law student. Revoked my posting privileges from one forum, Nazi. That Better? You know damn well what I am talking about, own it or deny it. But your answer tells me what I already knew. You won't own it, you will only hide. I said nothing that was not 100% true, and quoted the other poster. It was their words, not mine. Prick.

No, you can't have your posting privileges revoked from a single forum. You're posting here. That means you can post on the Cooler, too.

Go have a drink and CTFO.

 

[Joe_Hoopsier]

No, you can't have your posting privileges revoked from a single forum. You're posting here. That means you can post on the Cooler, too.

Go have a drink and CTFO.

Ok so how about a single thread, in a single forum? I have a screen shot that I "do not have privileges to post", but as you say I CAN post here.
Will you admit that you are the one who revoked those privileges and stop this? All I want to know, is who did it. Own it or totally deny it. NO legal practice language BS, own it or deny it. YES or NO. Did you or did you not?

 

[TheOriginalHappyGoat]

Ok so how about a single thread, in a single forum? I have a screen shot that I "do not have privileges to post", but as you say I CAN post here.
Will you admit that you are the one who revoked those privileges and stop this? All I want to know, is who did it. Own it or totally deny it. NO legal practice language BS, own it or deny it. YES or NO. Did you or did you not?

Oh, yeah, you can totally be banned from posting in a single thread.

 

[sglowrider]

Those are perfect.

Where the heck are the nips?

 

[dr.jb]

McNutt is on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.....

One day, the ship has an accident and sinks. McNutt survives and finds himself stranded all alone on a desert island

Ten years pass and one day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship?” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat?” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft?”

Then finally, he sees out of the surf comes a gorgeous buxom blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.....

She comes up to McNutt and says, “You look like you've been out here awhile, How'd you like a smoke?”

“Yeah, I sure would” he says.

She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a fresh pack of Marlboros.

He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, “Man, oh man! Is that good!”

Then she asks, “I'll bet you'd like a shot of whiskey to go down with that”

excitedly he replies, “Yeah, would I!!”

She reaches over, unzips the waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a bottle of Jack Daniels and gives it to him.

He takes a long swig and says, “Wow, that’s fantastic!”

Then she starts slooowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and coyly says to him, “And how long has it been since you played around?”

McNutt shrieks, “WOW!!!! DON'T TELL ME YOU GOT GOLF CLUBS IN THERE!!!!”