Friday Funnies

Discussion in 'Andy's Off Topic Forum' started by sdhoosier, Feb 14, 2020.

  1. sdhoosier

    sdhoosier All-Big Ten
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    A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

    On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

    "Dear Madam,
    Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:

    #1 - it had never been occupied;
    #2 - there was plenty of heat; and
    #3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.

    However, I found out that:

    #1 - it had been previously occupied, #2 - there wasn't any heat, and #3 - it was entirely too large."

    Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:

    " Dear Sir,

    #1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
    #2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
    #3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.

    Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady


    and a chick....

    [​IMG]
     
    MtPeter04, sglowrider, Eppy99 and 7 others like this.
  2. kkott

    kkott Hall of Famer
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    Sounds like the apartment didn't have a back door either!
     
    hookyIU1990, sdhoosier and BigMobe like this.
  3. Eppy99

    Eppy99 All-American
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    Not to be a dick, but given how my daughter is dealing with an eating disorder I look at this chick and I’m thinking she looks way to skinny. Damn she gorgeous up top but she looks like she could use a cheeseburger or three.

    It’s hard to say what is a healthy look anymore, but to be that skinny she must either not be eating enough food or over exercising.

    So my daughter is in this intensive group therapy with other girls and women dealing with these issues and some are athletes that thought they needed to be a certain weight to compete in their sports like cross country. Their coaches pushed them and eventually they started breaking bones because they weren’t healthy enough. Really sad shit and a lotta bad coaching out there.

    sorry to be a downer, it’s just what I see when I look at this girl now.
     
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  4. sglowrider

    sglowrider Hall of Famer
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    Reminds me of this famous place in Indonesia where you can rent her company, usually budding actresses or local models. They will give you a receipt for you to claim as expenses (from your employer/company) like car repair or something!
     
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  5. kkott

    kkott Hall of Famer
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    Umm, I think you're not exactly an objective observer at this point. I look at her and see nothing but beautiful and healthy. ...now my thoughts, those are unhealthy!
     
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  6. sdhoosier

    sdhoosier All-Big Ten
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    I can respect and see what you mean...when I posted the photo I was focusing and admiring from the waist up as I tend to do :)
     
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  7. Eppy99

    Eppy99 All-American
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    So was I at first..:and then I started looking at the entire bod.
     
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  8. Crossblock

    Crossblock Sophomore
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    I can see where you could get a car repair bill if you used your dipstick to check the oil.
     
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