Dear OTF

ArchieMillerTime

Hall of Famer
Aug 28, 2003
13,459
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If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this post is going to be a rough f*cking ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this board, we have been F*CKING UP in terms of quality posting and general HLA. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so f*cking AWKWARD and so f*cking BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee, I've been having so much fun with my posting this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to f*cking find you to do it myself.

I do not give a flying f*ck, and NFA does not give a flying f*ck, about how much you f*cking love the Blackhawks. You have 1 or 2 days out of the f*cking year to talk hockey, and this week is NOT, I f*cking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the OTF community, and that's not f*cking possible if you're going to just lurk around and talk shit about the quality of the OTF. Newsflash you stupid cocks: OTFers DON'T LIKE BORING OTFers. Oh wait, DOUBLE F*CKING NEWSFLASH: NOBODY IS GOING TO WANT TO TALK WITH US IF WE F*CKING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE F*CKING SUCK THIS YEAR.

This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about posting at a different board IN FRONT OF OTFers! Are you people f*cking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to reply back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't post in anymore OTF threads. If Zizkov openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite the WC over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE F*CK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be posting on other boards, I don't give a F*CK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is on that board. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do f*cking NOT convince other posters to leave with you.

"But [first name redacted]!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this post, "I've been cheering on the OTF, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID F*CKING ASS HATS, IT F*CKING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW F*CKING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN SOBER EVERY NIGHT. I've not only gotten texts about people being f*cking WEIRD on other boards (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's IU football?" is not f*cking funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for Butler. The opposing. F*cking. Team. ARE YOU F*CKING STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A BASKETBALL GAME? ARE YOU F*CKING BLIND? Or are you just so f*cking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the OTF is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE F*CKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR F*CKING MATCHUP. I will f*cking **** punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a f*ck if you ban me, I WILL F*CKING ASSAULT YOU.

"Ohhh, I'm now crying because your post has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this post applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you:

DO NOT POST ON THE OTF.

I'm not fuc*g kidding. Don't post. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this post and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS BOARD. I would rather have 40 guys that are funny, post pics of girls, and not f*cking awkward than 80 that are f*cking ******s. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't post pics of half-nekkid girls, I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't f*cking post unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our board. Seriously. I swear to f*cking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner tonight, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this post, I would apologize but I really don't give a f*ck. Go f*ck yourself.






Oh, and happy birthday Tunk

This post was edited on 5/31 9:51 PM by Mystery Donor
 

McHoop

All-American
Aug 28, 2001
5,365
665
113
I read every word.........

just to make sure it included **** punt..........

McHoop
 

Ungar16

Hall of Famer
Gold Member
Oct 29, 2005
12,158
629
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Well done sir...

I think this needs to be read at the next OTF tailgate. Might inspire some people and may lead IU to a win. And if I hear anyone say Oh I am a ND football fan I will **** punt you.
 

MyTeamIsOnTheFloor

Hall of Famer
Gold Member
Dec 5, 2001
45,677
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Duckburg
Is This The Indy Car/Hockey/Soccer Update Thread?


Cause if it is, I'd like to remind everyone that if Brooke Burke would leave a soccer game to sex me up on the ice at a hockey game, I'd steal an Indy car to go get her.

 

1987Grad

Hall of Famer
Aug 28, 2001
14,398
405
83
Awesome. Post of the year. lol

I can tell the folks at Exact Target work reeeeeeaaaaaaalllllllly hard. vbg
 

MrWelp

Benchwarmer
Gold Member
Jan 24, 2013
266
17
18
I got two hard rules I live by, Pop....

I don't fcuk with the devil and I never do tag-teams with blood relatives.

 

ArchieMillerTime

Hall of Famer
Aug 28, 2003
13,459
1,500
113
39°10,- 86°31
they're starting me off slow here

After a week of orientation and two weeks of training, I finally started getting cases this week. And today I was stuck with little to do while waiting on a response from client(s). Plus it really didnt require much work... just a simple copy&paste, with a few keywords edited and bleeping the banned words. Wah-lah
 

C-$

Hall of Famer
Nov 1, 2002
34,191
7,695
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Carmel, Indiana
I'm sorry..............

...am I the only person that realizes this is a cut & paste job with a few minor edits?

FAIL.
 

C-$

Hall of Famer
Nov 1, 2002
34,191
7,695
113
Carmel, Indiana
At least you admitted it...

...I'm not really upset with you; more disappointed with the lack of awareness on the OTF.
 

tyrosy9

All-American
Dec 4, 2007
5,999
28
48
Originally posted by C-$:
...am I the only person that realizes this is a cut & paste job with a few minor edits?

FAIL.
Good god.....
Posted from wireless.rivals.com[/URL]
 

IUforLife16

All-Big Ten
Mar 6, 2003
4,277
19
38
From Ovaltine, McHoop, Ungar's, etc. responses

You can tell that they've seen the original.

Idiot.

IUforLife16
 

1987Grad

Hall of Famer
Aug 28, 2001
14,398
405
83
I'll admit that I was about two paragraphs in......

before I recognized it.

Pretty funny. And on point.
 

The_Merry_Prankster

All-American
Oct 31, 2012
8,961
2
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I'll admit I didn't even read it .. TL:DR..

saw expletives and well .. I like expletives..

But, Money running around like he' has Sherlock Fk'in Holmes

like awareness is annoying ..

Someone should shut him down ..

MD made the attention whoring post and Money is whoring up all the attention..
 

Homercles

Hall of Famer
Gold Member
Jan 10, 2002
14,119
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I posted ass ... twice

I think I'm the one who got the point. Everyone else just recognized the delivery vehicle....