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In your life you only will ever have a handfull of people who........

I

IUT

Trailer Town. Lot 13
Moderator
Aug 28, 2001
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have been glad to see you no matter what since the day you were born. Doesn't matter where you are or what the circumstance, to them, having you there is ALWAYS preferable to not having you there.

I just lost one of those.

I've only got one left.
 
That's too bad

But in all honesty, most people are lucky to have one....
 
I'll tell you what I lost.

I lost an aunt. My dad's sister. When she was younger she had an ultra abusive husband who at one point threatened to kill her and their four kids. In fact, one night he was heading over to her house when the cops stopped him with a loaded gun.

On another night she had to cut him down by herself after a failed suicde attempt. She actually saved his life. He finally left (after lots of threats and police activity) and ended up being shot to death by a "friend" of his who was living with him in an abandoned school bus.

After that lenghty nightmare she met a wonderful guy named Leonard who was about ten years older than her. He was a very nice, genuine, jovial guy. My aunt finally met the right man and was going to finally get to be happy. My cousins, who were all little kids at the time (I was 12) were happy too. One of the little boys had talked to his real father the night of the murder threat and was told his daddy was coming to kill him.

That was all over now.

Within a year Leonard developed inoperable cancer and died. In additon to her heartbreak she was back to having to care for four small children on her own. My dad tried to help but this was the early 70s and his construction supply company was in deep trouble. He couldn't do much.

So she worked multiple jobs to keep life and limb together. Her kids grew up. Two sons went into the Marine Corps (because my dad and both his brothers had been in the Corps), one son went into the private sector, and her daughter worked her way through college. She ultimately got her masters and became a teacher. All the kids ended up being genuinely good people with good down to earth attitudes. Simply amazing.

About the time her kids were leaving the nest, she met another man. I didn't get the chance to know him very well but I was there for the wedding and all seemed right...finally. The crushing burden of having to raise kids and keep her self alive at the same time was now gone. She now was going to be in love and enjoy life.

Within a year he was dead too.

Two years ago her only daughter who worked so hard to make something of herself and was her mother's best friend developed brain cancer and died.

That was my aunt's life.

Through it all, ever since I was old enough to know who she was, she loved me and whenever I came through the door it was like she had been waiting all day just to see me. Every time.

She always had a smile and a hug for me. I was a shy, self concious kid and most times my out going cousins and brother stole the show when the family was together but I ALWAYS felt important when ever my aunt was there because I knew that she just couldn't wait to see me.

Through all the trouble she went through she never changed to me. She was going through hell but that was NEVER going to affect how she treated her little nephew.

You then grow up and forget about stuff like that. You don't need recognition or support. You go out and get it on your own. Family get togethers are now something to avoid. I was too important for that now.

It came crashing back to me a couple of years ago when I showed up at the funeral home for her daughter's funeral. One of her sons came up to me and told me "Mom's been asking about you".

Just then she showed up behind me and hugged me. She took me by the hand and led me to a couple of chairs where we sat and talked with her holding my hand the whole time. I was this big grown up guy but by the end of our conversation I was just glad my aunt was there.

What I'm struggling with now is a scene I can't get out of my head. My ex-wife and I had just come back from the airport after a dive trip in some place like Cayman or Roatan sometime in the late 90s. We were all tanned and feeling great as we left the long term parking lot.

As we pulled up to the booth there was my aunt taking money. It was probably 5 degrees out and she was sitting there in a heavy coat with the window open. It's a hard scene to describe but it was a mixture of being super glad to see me and being really embarrassed that she was taking my money in a ticket booth. Here I was with my beautiful wife just back from this exotic vacation and here she was just some minimum wage shlep in a ticket booth.

I wanted to talk to her but some jerk off behind us honked and I had to move on. I wanted to go back and punch the f***er but I didn't want to get her in trouble.

I thought about that moment for a long time and planned at some point to give her a bunch of money so that she could finally be happy. However, before I could do that I had to do blah blah blah blah.

Then I would forget about it again.

Now she's gone and I can't do it even if I were "ready" to do it.

There was never any animosity from her kids and certainly not from her about how well I was doing. She was actually proud of it. I heard her brag to people about me. Amazing.

A woman like that was bragging about someone like me. She was the best my family ever produced. She took on her responsibilities with a groan and a smile and in the face of a series of events in her life that I wouldn't wish on anyone she refused to give in and refused to let it change her.

She just died in her early 60s. Her EARLY 60s. Well, at least life can't f*** with her anymore. Life sucks somethimes and it's always overrated.

I'll never meet anyone like that again. I know that. So right now I'm hoping for two
things...

1) To get that airport scene out of my head

2) That if greatness like that ever crosses my path again I'll recognize it sooner.

That's what I lost Mystery Donor.
 
That's the best post you ever wrote. Sorry for your loss...

My mom died when she was 47 and my sister when she was 35. Both WAY too early in their lives. I was super close to both of them. It's an awful feeling losing someone who you're that close with...
 
Sorry Dude.

I had a couple of really great aunts. One had this saying when any of the kids would want something and our real parents said "no."

She always said "Oh, what's it gonna hurt?"

RIP Aunt Mildred.

RIP IUT's Aunt.
 
You Shoulda Just Had Rangeline Ask For A Bikini Photo

The "buttplug" response to the death of a favorite Aunt is DEFINITELY of limited use - only the rarest of posters could have pulled it off under even more rare circumstances. You are good - but not THAT good.

Next time there is an "I regret" thread, you are ahead of the curve.
 
Jeebus ...

that makes me want to cry.

Sorry for your loss.

I think ima hug my wife and kids a little bit longer when I see them today.
 
Sorry to hear that....

I have one to. He is a 2 year old bloodhound and no matter what i do he will always be happy to see me.

They say if you really want to know who loves you. Put your dog and your wife, for cap BF in a trunk of a car leave them there for 30mins open it up and see which one is happy to see you.

Sorry to hear about your loss.
 
It sounds like your aunt was both tremendous motivation

and a source of comfort for you. Your intentions were wonderful and I don't think you should beat yourself up over them.

Let me give you a similar example regarding somebody's death. A couple of years ago, I played golf with two individuals I normally didn't play with at Harrison Lake Country Club. The reason was it was in October and players were missing from both of our groups. We knew each other well and had played together a few times, but not every week.

This one guy in our threesome had been a single digit handicapper, but back surgery had taken its toll on his game. Fortunately, he was on his game that beautiful Saturday I played with him and shot a 78--his best score of the year. He was on cloud nine.

We were supposed to have lunch afterward, but I had to back out at the last minute. It seems my wife called me on the 16th hole and asked me to come home after my round because she had locked herself out of her car.

The next morning, I picked up the Columbus newspaper and saw a headline about a local motorcyclist getting killed in a crash Saturday afternoon. It was my friend who had shot the 78.

Naturally, I beat myself up over it. Had I stayed for lunch with them, it might have delayed my friend just enough to help him avoid the head-on wreck.

It's not been nearly two years since the tragedy and I still think about it. However, I quit blaming myself for it after consoling his widow at the funeral home. She told me that her husband had died happy.

You had the best of intentions regarding your aunt, but you can't blame yourself for not helping her financially. Odds are she would have refused the money. It sounds to me like your love for her was more than enough to make her happy.

Odds are she's in a better place now and she can take solace in the fact she was a great role model for her children and her favorite nephew.
 
Sorry for your loss...

...she sounds like a wonderful woman. Wished I could have met her.
 
I'm very sorry to hear this IUT...

I can relate. I only have one left as well.
 
Sorry for your loss...

but you can't beat yourself up over some of those things. A friend of mine committed suicide after we were out of high school. From grades 6-8, we were inseperable; we were like brothers. Once we got to high school, he went down a different path than I did, so we grew apart. We were always friendly to one another, but were never as close as we were in jr. high.

After I went to college (he never went, never got a license, just sorta drifted) I ran into him at Applebees. We talked and talked about IU basketball, as we were both avid fans and always had been. He mentioned that we should get together and watch an upcoming game that season. Of course, I said that sounded like a great idea and that I would call him. Well, I never did. Not long after that, he committed suicide. I remember the day my mom told me. Of course, I wondered at the time, what if? What if I had made that call?

Now that I look back, I doubt it would have made a difference. He had so many problems that I highly doubt that getting together to watch a game would have changed things, but I will always have that in the back of my mind.

Hang in there! She sounds like she was an incredible woman.
 
I'm sorry, IUT.

Seriously, I'm sitting here trying not to cry.

Thinking of you and your aunt today.
 
Thanks Peachy.

I'm sitting here doing the same thing.
 
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