Help. How do I explain to a 10yo little girl that....

[Noodle]

tonight mom is taking her dog to the vet and he will not be coming home? She understands that he is very sick and is not going to get better (very aggressive tumor in his spine). But he has taken a turn for the worse the past 2 days and it's clearly time. Right or wrong, we have made the decision not to have our kids go with him to the vet.

Man, this really sucks. It's hard enough to lose a young dog (4 years old), but it's magnified knowing the pain my kids will be going through.

 

[Univee2]

tonight mom is taking her dog to the vet and he will not be coming home? She understands that he is very sick and is not going to get better (very aggressive tumor in his spine). But he has taken a turn for the worse the past 2 days and it's clearly time. Right or wrong, we have made the decision not to have our kids go with him to the vet.

Man, this really sucks. It's hard enough to lose a young dog (4 years old), but it's magnified knowing the pain my kids will be going through.

You can't .... not completely.

I agree with not taking the kids to the vet. While Vets are sensitive in this situation, it's very traumatic for a child to be there when the time comes. It was horrible enough for me - I cried like a baby - 7 years ago when we took our prior Golden in. While the pet goes peacefully, you still feel that huge weight of guilt even while you know it's the right thing to do.

Took two years to get to the point where we could approach the breeder again, and I'm so happy we did. The 5-year old Golden - Major Morgan McGregor ("Morgan") - who is now such an integral part of our family is the official World's Best Golden. Yet, my heart aches for Jackson.

There's a local organization - Angel's Paws - that comes to your home. I'm not a cat person, but I don't mind keeping them around as employees as long as they continue to decimate the mole population. We recently had to put down a cat our daughter brought home as a kitten 15 years ago. Doing everything at home was far less stressful for my wife. It's something to consider in the future.

And while it's corny and sentimental - NTTAWWT - check out Rainbow Bridge. I know you; it will put a lump in your throat and mist your eyes.

 

[mjvcaj]

tonight mom is taking her dog to the vet and he will not be coming home? She understands that he is very sick and is not going to get better (very aggressive tumor in his spine). But he has taken a turn for the worse the past 2 days and it's clearly time. Right or wrong, we have made the decision not to have our kids go with him to the vet.

Man, this really sucks. It's hard enough to lose a young dog (4 years old), but it's magnified knowing the pain my kids will be going through.

Wish I had some advice, but I can barely handle it myself. Always a soft spot for dogs and pets in general.

 

[Sope Creek]

tonight mom is taking her dog to the vet and he will not be coming home? She understands that he is very sick and is not going to get better (very aggressive tumor in his spine). But he has taken a turn for the worse the past 2 days and it's clearly time. Right or wrong, we have made the decision not to have our kids go with him to the vet.

Man, this really sucks. It's hard enough to lose a young dog (4 years old), but it's magnified knowing the pain my kids will be going through.

Well, 10 is young, but not too young to understand that death is part and parcel of the deal that allows us to have life. Pain is difficult, but then life is full of pain . . . but there is also wisdom that comes from that pain, and joy from the values that it teaches. I trust that you'll be an excellent mentor for her as you start her knowledge about this . . . and it won't hurt to let her see your tears too. Could let her know that her pain isn't in isolation . . . which is part of where the joy comes from.

All the best to you man . . . tough duty.

 

[zeke4ahs]

Two book suggestions: All Dogs go to Heaven and The Tenth Good Thing about Barney. Have her list 10 things she loved about her dog. Keep it on the fridge or bulletin board with pup's picture. Let her talk and cry. It sucks, no way around it. So sorry.

 

[hootch1]

It's not easy. I had to go through this my father's death when my kids were almost five and nine. W spent time with my parents. They could see his suffering and asked questions that we answered frankly. It wasn't pleasant but necessary.

I was especially proud of our daughter who was five at the time. She ways always upbeat when she was with him.

Explain why this has to happen sometimes and answer the questions honestly.

 

[VanPastorMan]

tonight mom is taking her dog to the vet and he will not be coming home? She understands that he is very sick and is not going to get better (very aggressive tumor in his spine). But he has taken a turn for the worse the past 2 days and it's clearly time. Right or wrong, we have made the decision not to have our kids go with him to the vet.

Man, this really sucks. It's hard enough to lose a young dog (4 years old), but it's magnified knowing the pain my kids will be going through.

First, in a sensitive way explain that death is a part of life. Second, have a service for her, say some words of kindness about the dog. This way she can move on. If you think about it this is why we have funerals because it helps us to move on by first acknowledging the life of the person whom death has taken and it helps us in the future.

 

[zeke4ahs]

First, in a sensitive way explain that death is a part of life. Second, have a service for her, say some words of kindness about the dog. This way she can move on. If you think about it this is why we have funerals because it helps us to move on by first acknowledging the life of the person whom death has taken and it helps us in the future.

That's a good idea, Van. We had a service for my last dog that passed away. Kept her ashes and buried them under a plaque we got with her name in the back yard. We made a poster with her best pictures and everyone shared sweet and funny memories about her. And oh, yes, I was an adult and still wanted a funeral for my dog.

 

[CO. Hoosier]

Well, 10 is young, but not too young to understand that death is part and parcel of the deal that allows us to have life. Pain is difficult, but then life is full of pain . . . but there is also wisdom that comes from that pain, and joy from the values that it teaches. I trust that you'll be an excellent mentor for her as you start her knowledge about this . . . and it won't hurt to let her see your tears too. Could let her know that her pain isn't in isolation . . . which is part of where the joy comes from.

All the best to you man . . . tough duty.

My daughter did this with our grand kids. The Vet came to the home and gave Zaidy the shot. She just went to sleep with all the family around. Tough, but the kids, who were around 5 and 3 understood what happened.

 

[Rockfish1]

First, in a sensitive way explain that death is a part of life. Second, have a service for her, say some words of kindness about the dog. This way she can move on. If you think about it this is why we have funerals because it helps us to move on by first acknowledging the life of the person whom death has taken and it helps us in the future.

This may be the first thing you've ever posted that reads like it was written by a pastor.

 

[Noodle]

First, in a sensitive way explain that death is a part of life. Second, have a service for her, say some words of kindness about the dog. This way she can move on. If you think about it this is why we have funerals because it helps us to move on by first acknowledging the life of the person whom death has taken and it helps us in the future.

Thank you. Right now she and the other two kids are handling it better than mom and dad. I also think it might be nice to plant an apple or cherry tree in memory of Jayner. We could combine the planting with the service.

 

[DrHoops]

Thank you. Right now she and the other two kids are handling it better than mom and dad. I also think it might be nice to plant an apple or cherry tree in memory of Jayner. We could combine the planting with the service.

Sorry to hear that, Noodle. It's tough...that's for sure.

When I took my bulldog Calbert (yes, after Calbert Cheaney) to the vet, I said my goodbyes and left the room. I just couldn't watch them do it. He was very old and couldn't stand without help, and was barely conscious as it was, but I felt like a coward for leaving. I just couldn't watch him pass away. In some ways, it would probably be easier for a child than for an adult who raised a puppy from eight weeks...and treated him like a member of the family for 14 years. I cried for days (and typing this makes me almost want to again).

I feel for you, man. It's tough.

 

[Noodle]

Sorry to hear that, Noodle. It's tough...that's for sure.

When I took my bulldog Calbert (yes, after Calbert Cheaney) to the vet, I said my goodbyes and left the room. I just couldn't watch them do it. He was very old and couldn't stand without help, and was barely conscious as it was, but I felt like a coward for leaving. I just couldn't watch him pass away. In some ways, it would probably be easier for a child than for an adult who raised a puppy from eight weeks...and treated him like a member of the family for 14 years. I cried for days (and typing this makes me almost want to again).

I feel for you, man. It's tough.

Thanks, Dr. It's been rough since Friday, but I am incredibly proud of my kids and the way that they have handled everything.

 

[mk_peters]

You explain that it's a pet, and you get new one because that's what you do with pets. You love them with the understanding that their time is precious. Then you get a new one to love.

And you have funeral because you do that when loved ones die.